Soul Searching

9.12.08



If you bring forth what is inside you, what you bring forth will save you. If you don't bring forth what is inside you, what you don't bring forth will destroy you.

~ Jesus (from the Gnostic Gospel of Thomas)


Yesterday, I think I had a spiritual experience while drinking a Starbucks coffee. (Don't laugh). Yeah. It was one of those Christmas drinks. The Toffee Nut Latte. My first Starbucks since being in Taiwan.

I sat inside the shop sipping my hot brew, while starring out the window, wrapped in a feeling of absolute peace, wonder and contentment. Or was it the sugar and caffeine taking affect? Haha. Dunno.

The thing is. I've come to a point where the doing isn't cutting it. Where the searching doesn't make sense.

What I'm trying to find isn't, and never has been, out of my grasp. Never. Ever.

There's magic in becoming fully engaged in the present. Coming from a place of totality. Whole and complete.

In a culture of striving. I wonder. In the end, does it make one fulfilled and happy?

No. Not really.

I've lived a segment of my life where there was constant striving and attaining. Attaining and striving. To realize. That was all there was. More of that. More looking to the next step. More of feeling not quite there. An Illusion. More of wanting to reach a type of status. To soon find, that these pursuits were fruitless. Shallow. Empty.

When learning to let go of attachments it doesn't make for a passionless life. Just the opposite. The little things have meaning. The little things become big things. Life becomes rich. The motivation springs from a sense of clarity of what is real, in each moment.

Why search?

When centering myself around the heart. I am forever full.

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