Climb

5.6.11


"Silence is beautiful, not awkward. The human tendency to be afraid of something beautiful is awkward."   - Elliot Kay

Sometimes the climb is overwhelming. I've felt it on many occasions. Finding myself in a deep hole wondering how in the hell will I manage to climb myself out of this one? The past several years since starting this blog have brought immense change and experience, and at the same time, a thread of knowing that has always stayed with me. A constant. If there is one thing the practice of yoga has brought to my life is a sustained connection to that constant. To the fluctuations of my own mind, to the constant change and contrast of my external life. Settling into the highs and the lows have instilled that the pulse of life is ever changing, morphing, expanding, contracting. That is the one thing I can come to expect. But, is it not true that the more things change, the more things stay the same? Gosh, it's all paradox.

Lately, I've been contemplating my own mortality. Morbid I know, hahaha, but for some reason it has popped into my consciousness. Reflecting on the fragility of life. This sense has compelled me to stop wasting time on trivial things. Essentially, we always have the answers, trusting it is another story. To my amazement that wisdom is always there . . . waiting. I mean, wow, in my case it has taken eternal patience, hahaha. No kidding.

I can't say much has come easy for me. Arduous could be a word for it. But often, I realize much of the limitations have been bound in my own mind. Those chains seems to be coming loose in time. It's a nice feeling. To feel settled inside myself. Not totally there, but deeper nonetheless.

Each little step doesn't have to be in vain. Each step brings me closer in. Each step reveals something new. It's that that makes it interesting. Who knows what will be inside the package once I remove all the covering, that's the best part! In the meantime, I can savour each part of the process. 

2 Insightful Comments:

Tracy said...

I didn't start contemplating my mortality until just recently..at just almost 50 years old. The Dalai Lama does a meditation where he visualizes his own death..it's all part of "impermanance". Which as you grow older and see the changes that happen within your body, looks..you realize, it's all impermanent. All of it.

LARUGA said...

♥ I always love hearing from you Tracy! The meditation you speak about sounds like a useful and deep practice. I guess we're learning that you can never hold on too tightly but still in the end enjoy it all. Much love to you. :)

 

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