It's in the giving that the gifts come...

17.8.07


















"You are what you love not what loves you." ~Donald Kaufman

It's in the giving that the gifts come...without fail. I feel lucky and blessed to have met someone who has shown that so eloquently...and inspires me to do the same...hopefully everyday...in some small way. Just the act of being free with yourself...your feelings and being open to others without judgment is an important part of my process...and because I have put that out there...there's a force that has shown it to me since setting that intention...wonderful how that happens. And, its interesting how opening to that can bring about your fears...those dark parts that we all have. What is it again?...When we open to the light...many times it exposes those fearful parts...but its good...at least we can have the awareness they are there...and then, deal with it as we see fit.
Its amazing how powerful our intentions can be...and, when I feel like my heart just can't take anymore opening or allowing it to feel those scary parts...it can...it really can...just like any other muscle...you have to work it out for it to become stronger...more open. And, what a blessing to be shown such examples of strength...perseverance...and love from others I have met. It humbles me...inspires me...wakes me up to a deeper part of myself...and I can only hope to continue down that road. Of course there will always be some bobbles...but if I align myself back to intention everything becomes more clear...more focused.
So...on Friday after lead primary Sharath invited me to lead intermediate class on Sunday. And, I can't tell you how great it was...it being a smaller group...and the fact that Guruji lead the class. He seemed to have more energy and vigor than ever...so cool...For a man of 92 he never ceases to amaze me...He has the perfect balance of commanding presence mixed with soft sweetness. Not very many can carry that off. I had such a surge of energy too...it was one of those experiences I will always remember. Also, I don't like to name drop...but one of my all time favorite teachers was in the room practicing as well and it was all kind of surreal...being in the room with others who have lived and breathed this practice much longer than I. Its not about putting people above you but one can't help but feel the energy of those who have done the work. Many times I remind myself...if this is what's waiting for me after 30 years of practice...sign me up!!
So...I'll say it again...and I will continue to say it...I thank you...The only words that seem to have meaning to me right now is that...Thank you...I'm filled with gratitude...Peace.

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