"The same stream of life that runs through the world runs through my veins night and day in rhythmic measure. It is the same life that shoots in joy through the dust of the earth into numberless waves of flowers." - Rabindranath Tagore
Over the course of several months I've had episodes of vertigo. It wasn't until this morning when it felt downright unmanageable. I don't want to make mountains out of mole hills. For the most part I feel healthy. I do my best to sustain a healthy lifestyle and diet. Not going too much into one extreme or the other. Admittedly, this month has been challenging on various levels. Disappointments, loss, confusion, just to name a few. When it rains, it pours. A deeper part of myself knows much of these developments when it comes to external stressors have been made worse in my mind. I can become aggravated by too much mental energy. It drains me. For good reason. Probably why yoga practice is such good medicine. I can channel the energy down into the body. I can breathe. I can feel a sense of freedom and abandon as I flow. Taking this off the mat has another set of challenges. I do my best.
With the cold and darkness of November my sensitivities are through the roof. I'm cold constantly. Even when inside. For the first time, I think ever, I am feeling the deep affects of not having enough direct sunlight. I'm not pale (obviously) like most Scandinavians. I need more light. What to do? I have started taking Vitamin D without feeling much of a difference. On some level I know it's doing me good. I think there's a part of me who desires to continue with business as usual, but really, with the change of season, it seems to be calling me to take a step back, and
What's that definition of insanity again? Oh yeah, expecting a different result when doing more of the same . . .
Sometimes a loss of focus is just what's needed to get back into focus. It's time to change the internal landscape. I can travel the world a thousand miles over and I will still need to contend with the one, the only, myself. What's the use of talking a good game if not living it? If not inspiring to lead from the heart and acknowledging that, hey, it will be challenging, but why let it get me down?
Being the investigative reporter I am, I did a little thumbing around on vertigo.
"The cause of vertigo is 100% metaphysical! According to Lise Bourbeau, "Vertigo indicates that you perceive a loss in your psychological balance. You feel you've lost your footing or your grasp on what you thought was a balanced life, even though it wasn't meeting your true needs. You may feel anguished about making a decision regarding a new direction and, as a result, your dreams remain unfulfilled. It's possible that you have just experienced a dramatic change in some area of your life that appears not quite balanced and causes you either to feel a temporary imbalance or to have others judge you as unbalanced. You have a difficult time dealing with judgment of others, even if you refuse to acknowledge it."
The mental message being conferred to you by vertigo is that "You are receiving an important message from your body to acknowledge and honor your true needs and alter your notion of what compromises a balanced person and a balanced life. The longer you cling to the fear of being unbalanced, the more likely your life will become so." - Ibid (source)
Well, I could agree on some, if not most, of what it states above. I did have a period of feeling unsettled, not to mention a full blown round of acupuncture and bodywork sessions that brought up some interesting things to contend with to the surface. More on that later. Until then . . . finding balance in the face of change.