Hmmmm...

25.7.07

Being here in Mysore...experiencing this practice just about every morning...has been something. Sharath added 3 more postures this morning...and stuff has been moving pretty deep for me...not in a sense that I am becoming more bendy...because I could care less about being more flexible. Its so funny how we can get stuck on the accomplishment or performance of a pose...thinking is this right or that...how's my alignment?...who cares. How about the fact that I got rid of some bullshit in my mind that was holding me back. How about the fact that I faced some fears with in myself and feel a sense of freedom that comes with that. That...is the exciting part. This practice is the tool...not something to be conquered or achieved...and believe me...I'm not knocking this tool...because its been about the best thing I have ever tried to reach deep into those places. I love how Sharath...gives us so much space to discover and grow within the practice...but also...he's always watching intently...soaking everything that's put out energetically...carefully guiding you through...which brings a bit of comfort in this challenging sequence we go through every single morning. Its nice...so very nice.
To be on this journey...peeling back layers upon layers that have covered up the good stuff of many years of fears and insecurities...it feels good to discover truly who I am without any false judgment. And, just tapping into the flow of life...even as I write...I feel as if I am being guided somehow...and it is a comforting thought...to know...to truly know...that I am never alone. This is something I have struggled with for a long time now...So as my body physically becomes stronger and more centered...I feel it more on the inside...a deep sense of strength and center...and with that comes trust. How beautiful is it to trust? Especially to trust me and my own inner voice...Peace.

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