Stiffness

"He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the canopy of protection of the Almighty."

~ Psalm 91

Wow. Felt stiff after the moon day rest. It's times like these that I have to totally rely on my internal forces to get through. Even though I got to bed early I felt even more groggy than usual...don't get that. Maybe I'm better off with less sleep...dunno.

More practitioners have left the last several days. This morning it was strange to sit outside the gates and not see nearly half the people that are usually there.

So...I'm considering taking a side trip before heading back to Taiwan by the end of the month...or really going into the beginning of April. Gonna see how it flows. Everything is telling me...do it! Do it! Do it! We'll see. But if life is about experience, I say...why not. There's a force bigger than me that always seems to want me to scream. YES.

"Every master was once a disaster."

~ Anonymous

"Henceforth I ask not good-fortune; I myself am good fortune."

~ Walt Whitman

Lead Second Video

Mysore Family

"The utterances of the heart - unlike those of discriminating intellect - always relate to the whole."

~ Carl Jung

Many people ask, "How do I integrate my spirituality into everyday life?" You don't. You can't. How could you integrate it? You can't stuff the infinite into your limited life. Instead, give your life to divine impulse...Throw your life into Truth. Don't try to stuff Truth into your life."

~ Emptiness Dancing, Adyashanti

Enchanted forest in Coorg, India.

"There is no path to truth. Truth must be discovered, but there is no formula for its discovery. What is formulated is not true. You must set out on the uncharted sea, and the uncharted sea is yourself. You must set out to discover yourself, but not according to any plan or pattern, for then there is no discovery."

~ J. Krishnamurti

Clearing Out

"We, the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much, for so long, with so little, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing."

~ Mother Teresa

Entering deeper into March, the shala is beginning to empty out, and as the end of the month approaches, Sharath will be taking a due break from teaching at KPJAYI to begin touring. So, with that being said, it isn't as crowded, compared to the previous months. Which is nice. There's a more intimate feeling.

This month I've been laying pretty low. Conserving my energy for the coming months. I never imagined that my life would have become so transient. But, I can't complain, I enjoy it. I love traveling. I love discovering new places, and coming back to those I've grown to appreciate.

I've finally come to a place where I'm understanding the utmost importance of balancing my energy. How much I expend out ward. How much I need to fill up inward. With teaching, striking a balance is important. Looking back, I can see how I burned the candle on both ends when I first arrived to Taiwan. At least with living, there is learning, and I can move forward with more awareness.

Also, I've started volunteering at a local orphanage to simply spend time with the children. They are absolutely precious, and all they need is Love. My first day I was a bit overwhelmed, because right away some of the toddlers were climbing all over me. Full on energy! However, when I returned for my next day I found myself anticipating seeing those I connected with. It's amazing just how fast I've become attached. Literally, I could take so many of them home with me...but, I don't really have a home, 'home' at the moment.

Oh yeah, and I've finally started driving my scooter again after my accident. No biggie. But, it really put me into a scare. I was clipped by a speeding motorcycle, and I swear I had an angel of mercy looking over me, because I walked away with only a few bloody scrapes. I've thanked my lucky stars many a times after that. But, there comes a time, through the fear, you gotta get back into the saddle.

Made an appointment with a local Ayurvedic doctor that comes highly recommended too. I'm finally gonna get my dosha thing sorted out. I have a good idea what my constitution is, but I'd like to learn more ways to balance.

Ok. Time for bed. Thank God for moon days. I get to sleep in tomorrow. NICE.

Yogini's Quest meets Peaceloveyoga

If there's a perfect design to everything then it's become perfectly clear as to why I became friends and roommates with Yogini's Quest, my partner in crime, Tiffany. We met through blogging...kept in contact, and viola...we hung out in Mysore, India together. Two Ashtanga yogini's simply trying to keep it real.

Seriously, I gotta give my girl props. I love her openness and generosity...a free spirit with so much love to give. Tiff, you truly are one of a kind. And, you have the bendiest back I've ever seen...hahaha...(Can we get f*cking real?).

I'm so happy I met you!! Sad to see you go, but I know our paths will cross again...and for sure, we'll be in touch.

All the best!!

Lead 2nd Series

Being in the flow means you must be flexible in order to stay with it. Flexibility is the first sign of youth. Rigidity or solidification of thought, word, or deed immediately sets one into the distracting eddy currents and beaches the soul.

~ excerpt from Amazing Grace, by David Wolfe and Nick Good

Sundays...Lead second series. A time where you literally feel as if you've been chewed up, swallowed, regurgitated, and spit out. Okay. I exaggerate, but it can be an intense class. Scary and fun at the same time. That's why I love it. I walk in one way, and walk out totally different. Yeah, I may practice the same set of postures in Mysore class, but somehow it doesn't make a bit of difference. It's a whole new experience. Which, I feel is good. It doesn't seem to make a bit of different how long I've practiced second series either. Lead second, at the Shala, is a whole other animal. Facing the intensity, while being present is always exhilarating. Total surrender to the count. Total surrender to the energy is nothing less than a welcome challenge. A time to dig deep. Connect, even when it feels like a massive charge is coursing throughout the body.

I ask myself. Can I leave it all here? On my mat. Can I be fully present with what is, even when there is pain or discomfort? Can I take everything in? I mean everything. No holding back, and be with what is. No excuses.

With the breath being my guide...Yes...I can carry on, and move with intelligence.

May seem hard to believe, but on two occasions, total surrender, I've been spontaneously healed. I owe it to the Grace of the practice. And, have learned, that when focusing on the greater whole...focusing on Wholeness...versus focusing on what may be going 'wrong'...there seems to be a culmination of available energy that aligns everything just as it should. Seems unbelievable? Well, may sound like it. However, why have we lost our belief in the miraculous? It's all around. It's in everything and it's everywhere. This isn't something to believe in...this is something we must come to know, on every level.

Through the fire of the practice, we burn away impurities, physical, emotional, and spiritual. An alchemy of sorts. We aren't attaining something. We are stripping down to our True selves. For, that is what's within, as we peel back the layers, and get in touch with our own spark and light.

Purification.

There is always a new place to go. A new place to discover and grow. As we shed the layers, we become lighter.

We expand.

This is what's exciting.

Nothing Fails

Nothing Fails

I'm in love with you, you silly thing
Anyone can see
What is it with you, you silly thing
Just take it from me

It was not a chance meeting
Feel my heart beating
You're the one

You could take all this, take it away
I'd still have it all
'Cause I've climbed the tree of life, and that is why
No longer scared if I fall

When I get lost in space
I can return to this place
'Cause, you're the one

Nothing fails
No more fears
Nothing fails
You washed away my tears
Nothing fails
No more fears
Nothing fails
Nothing fails

I'm not religious
But I feel so moved
Makes me want to pray
Pray you'll always be here
I'm not religious
But I feel such love
Makes me want to pray

When I get lost in space
I can return to this place
'Cause, you're the one

[I'm not religious]
[But I feel so moved, mmm]
[I'm not religious]
[Makes me wanna pray]

I'm not religious [I'm not religious]
But I feel so moved
Makes me want to pray [But I feel so moved, mmm]
Pray you'll always be here
I'm not religious [I'm not religious]
But I feel such love
Makes me want to pray [Makes me wanna pray]

[I'm not religious] I'm not religious, but it makes me wanna pray
[But I feel so moved, mmm] Makes me wanna pray
[I'm not religious] I'm not religious, but it makes me wanna pray
[Makes me wanna pray] Makes me wanna pray

[I'm not religious]
[But I feel so moved, mmm] Makes me wanna pray
[I'm not religious]
[Makes me wanna pray] Makes me wanna

Nothing fails
No more fears
Nothing fails
You washed away my tears
Nothing fails
No more fears
Nothing fails


American Life (album)
written by Madonna, Guy Sigsworth, and Jem Griffiths
Track 6, Time: 4:48

.................................................................


Yes. I live through song and poetry, and I absolutely love the lyrics to this song.

Odanadi Seva Trust

Odanadi ~ One who walks hand and hand with you through life's journeys; a mate, a friend, for all seasons.

It's a sad fact human trafficking exists in the world. But, where there is despair, there is hope, when organizations such as Odanadi Seva Trust exist in the world. Today, I attended this inspiring event created to raise awareness regarding the problem of human trafficking locally, as well as globally. The performances by the children were simply beautiful. A true testament of strength and perseverance, centered around the human spirit.

Following is an excerpt from the program:

"Every day in India hundreds of vulnerable woman and children are lured into the illegal sex trade, bonded slavery and domestic servitude. Over the past 18 years Mysore's Odanadi Seva Trust has rescued and rehabilitated more than 1,850 of these children, carried out 57 brothel raids and brought 137 traffickers to justice. Today there are around 85 residents based on two sites on the outskirts of Mysore. Here they have access to counseling, education, health care, vocational training and a whole raft of extra-curricular activities designed to help rebuild their confidence, recover their strength, to develop and grow. Through your awareness and cooperation Odanadi will continue to fight human trafficking at is roots and provide a safe haven for those who have been affected."

"Self-expression is of vital importance to Odanadi's pioneering rehabilitation model. Through the practice of semi-classical Indian dance, song, drama, art, karate, and yoga, the women and children of Odanadi are gradually able to rebuild their confidence, self-respect, physical and mental strength. The afternoon's program is a bold example of their talent and determination."

Odanadi's founders Stanly & Parashuram, who have worked tirelessly for the children of Odanadi for the past 18 years.

Such inspiring human beings!



For those interested in learning more about Odanadi Seva Trust, and how you can help, please visit the following site: www.odanadi.org

The Force

The Force is a feeling experience. You can feel it physically, but our real relationship with it is in a mystical realm..........As we develop a positive, constructive relationship with The Force, we get out of thinking and into feeling. We can feel so much more wonder in nature with our souls than we can see with our eyes. We can actually feel the vaulted beauty of nature, and we can truly "find tongues in trees, books in running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything."

~ excerpt from Amazing Grace, by David Wolfe & Nick Good

Feelings. Intuition. Insight. Prophecy. The forces that connect the invisible realm with the visible. The more I discover. The more I come to understand that the invisible aspect of ourselves is where the real juice is. I can read a million books. I can study hundreds of theories. I can earn multiple degrees. But what have I acquired? An a abundance of knowledge, maybe. But does knowledge bring empowerment? Possibly to some extent. But, what I'm talking about is wisdom. The inner spark of knowing that every human being is born with.

Living without connecting to the invisible force is like a sailboat chartering without wind in its sails.

We come alive. We become inspired. When we can simply let go to the Force that envelopes us.

It has taken time for me to fully trust. And, sometimes still, I have my doubts, if I am to be brutally honest. However, more and more, the spark inside, is voicing itself loud and clear. There comes a time when it simply cannot be ignored. For, why deny the Truest part of myself? The energy expended to be in a state of denial makes no sense.

I've stepped into the unknown. Yes. It is scary. But, when releasing what seems solid, but is only an illusion...the material identifications...we step into a realm. The invisible. And, we find that what we thought was real was not...and what this vast space carries with it, is more Love than our little minds can fathom.

Emerging Paradigm

Ties that Bind

"One for all, and all for one."

~ Three Musketeer Motto

"There is no difficulty that enough Love will not conquer; no disease that enough Love will not heal; no door that enough Love will not open; no gulf that enough Love will not bridge; no wall that enough Love will not throw down; no sin that enough Love will not redeem. . . It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the troubles. How hopeless the outlook. How muddled the tangle; how great the mistake. A sufficient realization of Love will dissolve it all. If only you could Love enough you would be the happiest and most powerful being in the world."

~ Emmet Fox

Living in Mysore, experiencing the practice, is nothing less than incredible. Beyond that, connections are made outside the shala that make the total experience all the more profound. I've met people from every corner of the world, and we all wake up early to consciously breathe, move and sweat together. As we burn our internal fire, we ignite a force much bigger than ourselves. Being in the presence of this is amazing.

When entering the shala every morning I feel an immense amount of gratitude having the opportunity to travel all this way to practice. The gratitude extends toward those who practice next to, and around me. It is as if we are a symphony of souls, each playing our own instrument, in a room brewing with energy. Doesn't get much better than that. To everyone, I'm extremely thankful they made the journey as well...as I am of my teachers, Sharath and Sarawati...and to those I practice with, have taught me more than I could have imagined would be available.

No man or woman is an island.

Even though we must walk through our own challenges alone, mustering up the courage to evolve and grow, the choices we make also affect those around us. I'm learning the more I listen to my own inner voice, and address my essential needs, such as giving myself the time and space to plug in internally, then I have much more to give others. When in the proper space I'm better equipped to reset my intention, if for some reason, I've felt pushed and pulled into too many directions.

With all that being said, I feel as if the true blessing comes from the residual effect of the practice. An opening of the heart, or a releasing of a karmic pattern that has left me blind to a greater and more loving experience. I guess, it all comes down to awareness. An awakening of consciousness. When we become more clear, eyes and heart wide open, then we are better able to feel what is inside and the ties that bind us all together.

As I listen to other people's stories, some heart breaking...some incredibly inspiring...their stories become my own. And the spirit of this incredible yoga practice is not done in vain. We become less concerned with what it is that we deserve and more in tune with what is best for the collective. All in all, it only blesses, and no one is left behind.

Zappos

An inspiring story how to revolutionize the way big business is run. Awesome!

Slow and Steady

Infinite patience is the only thing that gets immediate results.

~ A Course in Miracles

Through repetition, the magic is forced to rise.

~ Alchemical Principle

Mastery is achieved through repetition and practice.

~ Amazing Grace, by David Wolfe & Nick Good

Awareness without action is not nearly as powerful as awareness with action

~ Amazing Grace, by David Wolfe & Nick Good

During one of our weekly conferences, with Sharath, he stressed the importance of navigating through the practice slowly and consistently...releasing all ambition. As I took pause, it reminded me of the story regarding the tortoise and the hare. One, slow and steady, the other, fast and furious. Well, we know how the story ends...

In the beginning, it seems only natural to come to the mat with added zest and zeal...for everything is new. However, there comes a time when the newness wares off, the high, if you will, tapers, and then, the real work begins. We must journey through pain, soreness, boredom, apathy, and struggles, while maintaining the daily discipline. Through the highs and lows, it becomes about bringing one back to center, to equanimity, versus merely obsessing about asana. Can I focus on my breath? Can I connect internally as I flow externally with my body? Once we address these questions, the external expressions of the breath, the asana, unfold naturally. Our mind becomes centered. Outer circumstances become less agitating. The power they hold over us lessens.

Slow and steady. Sharath stressed the importance of committing to the practice for the long term. I loved how he stated that we aren't yogis yet, we are merely yoga practitioners. So true. For, when a yogi, there are years, upon years of solid experiential practice and study behind us. Truly, I'm only at the very beginning of this fascinating journey that never ceases to astound and challenge, in a way, that is beyond words...because it is simply about the daily practice. As our awareness deepens the essence of yoga fills our being and manifests into our daily lives. Can I stay present while washing the dishes? Can I find peace in times of struggle and turmoil? Questions that become apparent off the yoga mat.

I've found that when I slow down, things have a way of speeding up...magically. Instances where I've accepted the fact a certain asana possibly won't happen in this life, I've continued to show up daily...bringing it back to my breath...back to the present moment. Slow and steady. To then, as if by Grace, lift up or enter into an asana as if I've had it all along. Strange and fascinating how that happens.

In a world where instant gratification reigns supreme. Isn't it is wise we take pause from time to time? Checking in. Centering and listening to our higher calling. In a crazy, fast paced world, it is even more essential that we do so.

The Truth of who we are will never be found on the outside, even though we may be pulled in a million directions. Unplug to plug inward. Slow down. Practice. It becomes that simple. There is no destination point. There is only here. There is only now.

Moving forward, I will take what Sharath says to heart. If I am to commit to the practice for a lifetime there is really no need to rush. I'd rather become a connoisseur of each movement instead of merely skimming the surface. And, like my dear friend Tiffany says..."If I'm not gonna go deep, then what's the point."

True that, girlfriend. True that.

Reconnected

Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them--a desire, a dream, vision.

~ Muhammad Ali

Wow. Okay...so finally I'm plugged in and connected. After two months in India, and starting my 3rd, I've finally managed reliable internet in my place of residence. Things don't necessarily come very fast here, that's for sure.

I've missed blogging...but also, I feel it's good to take a break from time to time.

My trip so far has been filled with trails and tribulations, insights, emotional breakdowns and breakthroughs, unexpected surprises and connections, and as always, lots of laughs. For it all, I feel blessed and grateful for what the months have brought into my life. All we have to do is stand in awareness, look around, listen...for, life has a way of unfolding and teaching many things if we allow the lesson to be taught. In the end, it brings us to greater growth and understanding...which makes for exciting developments when we can stand firmly entrenched into the realness of who we are and realize the strength we embody.

So...finally, I'm back to blogging regularly. I think I have much to say and express. Bear with me...we're in for an interesting ride...

Transmutation

The greater the difficulty the more glory surrounding it. Skillful pilots gain their reputation from storms and tempests."

~ Epictetus






Transmutation - (the definition) - the action of changing or the state of being changed into another form.


After a week of being slammed...seriously...feeling like I've been wrung out on every possible level, I made my way to the shala for lead 2nd. While I waited on the steps I sat next to a fellow yogi and sighed...

"What a week," I said. There's been a whole lot of shifting going on, I can tell you that."

"Yeah. I know. I'm transforming...but I have no idea into what"...he told me.

I smiled and laughed.

True. So very true.

Amusing. We sign up for this challenging practice. So much changes, if you allow it. So much bubbles to the surface. Sometimes life has a way of slapping you in the face. Sometimes things happen when you least expect it. Exciting and scary. A mixture wrapped up into one.

Someone who has become one of my dearest friends told me...If you're not gonna go deep, then what's the point.

True. So very true.

Going deep on every level of existence. Being present with what is right before you. Maybe there's more to simply living in the moment. But also, loving it too. Embracing everything. Yeah, a challenging thing to sign up for. Can't say I'm totally there.

The more I enter inside during practice a state of Grace fills every cell of my body...as if I'm being lit up by an unknown force while at the same time feeling as if it's the most familiar place to be. The exhilaration. The wave of movement. With each breath my soul expands.

Nothing becomes more real than That.

Nothing.

And so the story goes...as I step through the fire of existence who knows what will become of me. But, what I do know is that nothing can hurt me when I enter into That space...

Nothing.

Mystery

The answer is never the answer. What's really interesting is the mystery. If you seek the mystery instead of the answer, you'll always be seeking. I've never seen anybody really find the answer--they think they have, so they stop thinking. But the job is to seek mystery, evoke mystery, plant a garden in which strange plants grow and mysteries bloom. The need for mystery is greater than the need for an answer.

~ Ken Kesey

Ok. Haven't blogged in a while. Stay tuned...Will be posting regularly soon. All I can say is India has a way of spinning the karmic wheel on an accelerated scale. I agree with this wholeheartedly, coming from a friend of mine.

Good, bad, ugly or indifferent, looking at your own stuff straight on, is an awesome process.

It doesn't get much better than that.