Guess I've been living under a rock...just recently became familiar with the book Siddhartha, by Hermann Hesse. Never realized how popular the book was.
Several weeks ago I was corresponding back and forth with a fellow yogi from the U.K. on facebook. He offered to send me a copy. Just got the book yesterday and started to read it. I'm surprised how short it is.
There is an excerpt on Herman Hesse's life at the beginning of the book. He comes off as a very complex and interesting man who never liked to be tied down...always on the quest to discover Truth. I can definitely relate.
I showed up. Mind was way too active. This is becoming a frustration, however I do my best not to resist. Felt stronger today, but still a bit off balance. Eka pada bakasana rocked...why is this posture so elusive?...Meaning, it always takes me by surprise. When I come up to it I honestly never have an idea what will happen. Interesting. I'm probably still at the inconsistency phase which is part of the process. Still jumping into Pinch Mayurasna with both legs straight...however, the elbows still want to spread out...not sure how to work it...having the elbows out like that will make Karandavasana even more of a challenge. Geesh!
I've come to the realization that in the last several months its my mind that has weakened...not my body. All the stuff with not feeling well, and the lethargy...stems from my thoughts...the worry...the fear...and confusion...I've felt the subtle difference in my practice. Amazing how that happens. But, for me, its all in the mind...and I've felt the change. Something has gotta turn around...I want my fire back...I need it...but it was no one but myself who let it out. Its almost like turning a barge around...it'll take some work. But you know, I had to go through this to realize and come to terms with many things. Through acceptance, what has developed will not be in vain. Its a rebirth...but, I'm still at that stage where I just came out of the womb...my head all bent out of shape...with the body all sticky and bloody still. Maybe its a bad analogy but its all I got. :)