So...I didn't have much to say regarding what released for me during Friday's class...but I've had a time to reflect...and to at least be real about it. The beauty of what the practice of yoga does is that it deepens our awareness. Like when I have an ego moment...its that little angle sitting on my shoulder saying...tisk, tisk...your full shit...you know that. What a blessing that is...just to have that awareness. The real challenge is what we do with it.
So much has flooded to the forefront. I remember the times when it was more important for me to be perfect instead of have fun. I see where I've held back...ohhhhh so many times in my life. I am starting to feel who I was before...before everything changed...when a part of myself died...so I thought. But, I have come to realize that all is not lost...it never is. Is my heart breaking open? Yeah...it can be painful...but I asked for this. I have remembered some of my darkest days...and by some little miracle though...grace has always been handed to me in my lowest of lows...that is what has kept me believing and knowing that of course I am never alone in this...ever. I would never take anything back, however, because I would not be here, right now feeling what I feel...it would never have brought me to this precious moment of knowing what is...
When you open to the experience with out holding back, that is when we transform. Why cut it off...even if it doesn't come back to us in the way would like or expect...because it always starts inside us...and no where else. Peace.