Want For Nothing

23.8.09

Free love? As if love is anything but free! Man has bought brains, but all the millions in the world have failed to buy love. Man has subdued bodies, but all the power on earth has been unable to subdue love. Man has conquered whole nations, but all his armies could not conquer love. Man has chained and fettered the spirit, but he has been utterly helpless before love. High on a throne, with all the splendor and pomp his gold can command, man is yet poor and desolate, if love passes him by. And if it stays, the poorest hovel is radiant with warmth, with life and color. Thus love has the magic power to make of a beggar a king. Yes, love is free; it can dwell in no other atmosphere.

(Emma Goldman)

I told my close friend and roommate today that somehow it felt strange to want for nothing at this moment. I mean, yes I would love to be in the same area code as my boyfriend, but we already know the wheels are in motion for that to happen...but, to be in a place feeling fully satisfied with the everyday, feeling as if nothing is missing, nor is there any urge I need to chase after is something new. Easily all this could change tomorrow, but damn it, it isn't often that I've felt this type of fullness.

These feelings have a tendency to change, but it's nice to get a taste of completeness. A realness is emerging. I'm feeling good in my own skin. It's priceless. I hope I can continue this practice by experiencing my essence instead of looking outward to feel whole.

We live in a culture where enough is never enough even though we have an abundance of everything. It seems to only perpetuate more consuming, we get more, we want more, and so on. I've definitely had this disease, and could never claim to be cured from it, more or less, now, when things such as this pop up, I'm more apt to take a look at what in me feels is lacking.

"Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vacuum, it makes one." (Benjamin Franklin)


My days have been filled with early morning practice, studying Swedish, and teaching a yoga class a day. I've been reading like nobody's business, and have had an insatiable appetite for books dealing with various topics, the usual, life, love and perspectives on it all. What could be better? But really, my thirst has shifted toward learning, and deepening, and it's felt freeing to crave reading books versus craving more shoes, lol. Not that there is anything wrong with either.

Thanks to my roommate I'm eating some of the best food ever. She's taught me quite a bit regarding cooking, and Ayurveda, and I don't think I've ever felt this balanced before. It's been wonderful, and I'm soaking it all in. Yoga, pulse an optimal diet, mixed with feeding my mind and soul with good stuff, has culminated something in me that feels steady, and self-sustaining, so I'm rolling with it. (No T.V., that's a biggie) I know it sounds boring, but these routines I've implemented have done wonders. Once I start traveling again, I'm really gonna need to work on how to keep myself balanced, which shouldn't be a problem, things can always be worked out with a bit of planning.

My words for the coming week are balance and humility.

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