A Word of Thanks


"...If we were to go just beyond sleep and enter into the state of meditation, we would be able to drink the nectar of love and happiness that lies in the heart. The nectar is what we are looking for in all the activities of the outer world. What we are really seeking is the supreme Truth, and through meditation we can experience that Truth vibrating in the form of sublime happiness in the heart..."

~Swami Muktananda

Last night was the first time since getting back from Mexico that I made it to my meditation group. The group has grown, and real magic happens when collectively meditating. Its feels as if I'm linking up to an incredible energy, and being in a group somehow makes it that much easier. I felt as if I received strong guidance and reassurance...it was really what I needed. My awareness has deepened regarding a certain pattern in my life...and I feel ready to let it go...and somehow I feel lighter, I feel more connected internally, I feel more connected to my breath. Like everything, its a cyclical process...once something clears, there is then new ground to cover and discover. I just might be starting to enjoy this process...I guess that's the better attitude to have than to shrink and hide from it. If through all this clearing I get to linger and stand in the truth of who I am...to really establish a genuine relationship with it...then I'm down. I've come to the conclusion that this is what is of utmost importance in my life. My relationship with THAT is what has to come first...it all came to me so clearly...then everything will fall into place. I feel I'm finally ready to surrender to it...

Practice this morning was everything I needed and more. Still playing with this scattering of energy that I have been feeling...interesting process...getting into the subtleties. Lining up the mind, body and spirit when developing and learning challenging asana has been a fun territory to play in. I can begin to feel when my mind blinks. That is what I mean when I talk about subtleties. Its much more than a physical outer alignment...there's a component of an internal alignment which has to take priority over anything else. Where the focus is razor sharp, but the mind is relaxed...the breath is full and deep, without being forced...and, of course, a strong connection to the core, the bandhas. Sometimes it all lines up spontaneously. However, as always, the less I think, and the more I feel, it all comes about on its own accord. And, as with everything...it takes practice.

Today, I was given an incredible gift from an inspiring group of friends and mentors. And, it warms my heart to its fullest capacity...not only by what was given, but by the thoughtful, loving act itself. Words cannot describe how I feel...I've been sincerely touched. Just when you feel all is lost...everything is found. I've had to learn much about acceptance, and just in that simple act, miracles happen. But, the true miracle is when I asked God to show me an example of his grace...and he showed me in the physical manifestation of 3 amazing, strong, beautiful women. And for that I'm eternally greatful and indebted to them. If I become half the woman they are...I just might be ok...

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