From the Ashes

20.4.08

How could we forget those ancient myths... the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.

~Rainer Maria Rilke



Virgo~


Your planet, Mercury, is being supported by dark lord Pluto, ruler of our unconscious minds. More than ever, you can use language to shine light into obscured areas of your imagination. You are now like the mythical Phoenix, a bird that was reborn from the ashes of the ruins of destruction. If you can visualize the creative forces of evolution at work, then whatever difficulties you have faced can be released. Saturday, April 19, 2008





This horoscope got me thinking. It got me digesting much of the evolution of my life in the past year and a half. More than any other time, in this phase, I've been tested, stretched, knocked down, challenged, disillusioned, provoked, disappointed...and, the best part, more real with myself than ever. So many things needed to be cleared...destroyed, for me to wake up and listen. Often I've had to ask...'who am I.' Many times I've questioned if I even had the energy to move on and discover this side of myself. On many occasions I wanted to give up. Too many times I felt lost, alone, and sad. Numerous points have filled me with uncertainty,and doubt, and left me feeling as if I was losing that spark that I had. But, it had to happen. And, when I look back at what I've gone through...I just shake my head and go...'you did it'...finally the authenticity of who I am is being reborn. Its starting. However, many weeds had to be pulled first. And, even though I write this blog to openly share my feelings. Many things that have happened I've kept to myself...not even sharing with my closest of friends. Because well, some stuff I'm still trying to process and let it reveal its self. Which is a new approach...you know, I'm doing my best not to over analyze...And, well, I wouldn't take anything back...its gotten me here today...feeling more of who I am than ever...And, really, I didn't just do it...by Universal Grace it happened. Because I remember the critical point...I remember the day exactly...when I owned it and stated..."I'm not happy with the way things are." From there, like a Divine tornado...that Grace destroyed everything in its path...and it was like..."Ok, Laruga, its time for you to rebuild something new...but its not gonna be on the outside...its time to reconstruct what's on the inside...and, another thing, its gonna be a bumpy ride...brace yourself...hahahaha." Yeah, its true, many times I've felt as if God were laughing at me..."Ha! you think your special now? You think this will bring you happiness...take that!! Go back inside, go within." Constantly, I've had to be reminded of that. Soooo, many times.

What have I learned you may ask? Absolutely nothing...hahaha...only kidding.

Well, that's kind of true. The deeper I go...the more I realize I don't know squat. I don't know anything. But, its ok, because delving into the unknown...and being comfortable with it, allows me to look at life much differently. And that's pretty darn cool. :)


So...like the Phoenix...I can't even imagine what will become of these ashes I've acquired...

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