"The attainment of wholeness requires one to stake one's whole being. Nothing less will do; there can be no easier conditions, no substitutes, no compromises."
Blah, blah, blah...I feel out of my mind. Practice this morning was alright...but, I really wasn't feeling it. I've had alot on my mind. The yoga helps to settle the thoughts, however, it also makes getting through a physically demanding practice a bit challenging.
One day, I feel completely at peace with my process and how things are unfolding. Then too quickly I find myself being consumed with worry. Why do I worry so much? Its such a useless waste of time. But, it happens , I find myself getting swept away by it. It all starts with the awareness I suppose.
Well I got an update on my overseas teaching opportunity. Looks like they want me to leave at the end of June. So I can start teaching on July 1st. From there they would like a 6 month commitment. I think I'm up for it.
I know its useless to look too far ahead toward the future. But, there is something I've been desiring for the past several years. I need a teacher. Someone I can study with longterm. The majority of my practice has developed through my own self practice...with workshops sprinkled in here and there, as well as my trip to India. All of that proves to be invaluable. And, I so much enjoy being a student, and learning, and I ride that wave and deepen what I learn on my own for as long as possible. There are fabulous teachers here in the Columbus area. However, where I'm at in the series there isn't anyone to assist me further. I can continue on like this for a little while longer. And, of course, the true teacher is the practice, and can be found inside. However, there is a powerful link that can happen when practicing regularly with a teacher who has been doing it for a long time...that in turn is priceless. And, its just time. Also, what I seek in a teacher is more than someone who can get me through 3rd series. In the end it really isn't just about that. So...well, when I get back from teaching overseas, I really feel that I want to make my move. God willing.