A Test of Faith


Dreams are like stars...you may never touch them, but if you follow them they will lead you to your destiny.

A cloud does not know why it moves in such a direction and at such a speed. It feels an impulsion...this is the place to go now. But the sky know the reasons and the patterns behind all clouds, and you will know too, when you lift yourself high enough to see beyond horizons..."

~ Richard Bach


Everything I have ever chased, aquired, desired, wanted, or felt I needed...is nothing in comparison to the realness of knowing the Truth. Sometimes, I don't want to know. Just being honest. For, what would that mean? It would mean that I would have to live with the responsibility of IT. Today, that is where I struggle. Why, would I rather hold on to a certain reality knowing full well it is a lie? Why does it scare me? Even though I know full well it will never bring me lasting happiness. There are days, lately, where it makes me angry...angry that I don't seem strong enough to loosen the grip that leaves me immoblized, paralyzed to live my potiental. Whatever that is. The plan isn't entirely my own. Why do I want control...when in the end all it does is hold me back...further and further...into a hole...into someone who becomes unrecognizable?

Yes, this is what happens every month...during my lady's holiday. I used to breeze through these days like a simple hiccup, to now wanting to slip into a depth of nothingness...

Yes. How dramatic of me.


Another typhoon is heading my way for even more dramatic measure. Fun. Fun. Taiwan seems to be a target for scary storms.

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