Slow and Steady

Patience is one of those virtues that must be cultivated while staying in India. If your an impatient person by nature this may be the perfect training ground for that. I've come to realize in the States how fast things come...there is so much instant gratification...but something gets lost somehow when things come so fast...I don't know what it is exactly...but its just isn't as enjoyable if we are racing through life at lightening speed.
By nature, I have always been a fast walker...on the move. But, after being here for about 3 weeks that has totally went away. I stroll...Ha!ha! I haven't done that in a long time. This morning we were running a bit late for practice and we had to pick up the pace to make it to the Shala...and it felt so strange and foreign to walk fast...and I'm like...wow...what's happened to me! I just hope I can keep that presence with me when I go home. Just because the rest of the world is racing around...doesn't mean I have to follow suit. Even with the vigorous practice of Ashtanga yoga I have taken my practice as if I am a connoisseur of it. Acting as if each asana is a morsel to be experienced and deepened...and ahhhhhh...what a wonderful way to approach the practice...to approach life. Even though the series is the same sequence every time...the depth one can go is like a bottomless well...there is always something more...something more to feel...to realize...to uncover. It never ends...and why would we want it to...we are here to learn...grow and expand with each passing day...hopefully filling that space we have created with more love, compassion and most of all peace...Namaste.

Guruji

Today, being Friday, practice was lead Primary Series...but it was a very special day...because Guruji came down after class for the first time after being ill. Unexpectedly, I was flooded with emotion...and my heart was truly moved. Sarawati was helping him walk into the office so he could sit at his desk...and she beamed with joy and happiness. She simply said "Guruji is here," as she touched her heart. It wasn't exactly what she said, but how she said it...all of this really got to me. Once, everyone in the shala noticed he was in his office, of course, we all wanted to pay our respects. Everyone lined up outside the office. Let me just say what a presence he has. Some commented on the weight he had lost...but he looked so good...so happy. There is a light ...and aura that surrounds him. Not only do you see it...but you feel it...which is much more powerful...more true...when you feel it in your heart. He looked beautiful...with a true face of a yogi...smiling ear to ear...smiling with his eyes...and that smile never seems to cease. I was touched and taken by the moment. This was more than I could ask for...and to be able to say thank you...just to simply say thank you to a man who...without knowing him on a personal level has so positively changed the course of my life with his unwavering commitment to this powerful practice of yoga...I will forever remember the first time I met Guruji. Peace.

Live and Let Live

"The simple and astonishing truth about India and Indian people is that when you go there, and deal with them, your heart always guides you more wisely than your head. There's nowhere else in the world where that's quite so true."
-An excerpt from Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts

I have come across a most fascinating book while in India. The Aussie (a bloke I've met here in Mysore) was telling me about it and allowed me to borrow a copy of his so I can read it. The book is called Shantaram, and if you haven't heard of it yet...definitely check it out. Its about one man's plight and journey in and around Bombay, India. Its a true story. I'll just leave it at that... Don't be intimidated about the nearly 1000 pages either...it will hook you from the first page on. I guarantee it.
Yesterday, a group of us met for drinks at the Southern Star Hotel...since we were off the next day for the new moon. The group being me, Elle (friend from Thailand), the Englishman, and the Aussie. I use these names just for anonymity's sake. First, everything they say about a drunk Australian is true! I say that with humor...its not necessarily a bad thing. We all had a great time. Elle has been great...she is extremely honest and has an abundance of energy...which are great qualities in a friend...we have gotten along really well. She doesn't take her yoga practice too seriously...which is refreshing...and she doesn't hide the fact that she doesn't like something or someone. You just can't fault that...you have to respect someone for being genuine...and its not like she is being harsh or mean...she is just being who she is...no pretensions...no faking. The Englishman,(www.yogabarry.com) is the other tenant in Shakti House, where I stay. We have really gotten to know each other well...and I enjoy his company. He has done so much in his life and really lives by a high moral code. However, he is just a big softie inside. I like giving him a hard time...we have fun with each other. The Aussie is this ex-rugby player who has taken to Ashtanga yoga, and is definitely a man's man. Pretty darn Australian...through and through. However, he is so chill and has a great personality...and a good perspective of life.
One thing I am beginning to realize is how life in the States can be so isolating. We really think we are the only act going on in the world. That is just how I feel. After meeting so many people from other places and countries...they seem to have more of a global view on things and it is soooo refreshing. I have come to the realization that I really want to live out of the U.S for a sustained period of time at some point. Its not that I am dissing my home country...because it will always be my home...but it I feel it isn't only something that I want to do...but something that I must do. Peace.

Work the Practice...Practice the Work

"The 'secret' of life that we are all looking for is just this: to develop through sitting and daily life practice the power and courage to return to that which we have spent a lifetime hiding from, to rest in the bodily experience of the present moment--even if it is a feeling of being humiliated, of failing, of abandonment, of unfairness."
-Charlotte Jako Beck

Practice today compared to yesterday, was like night and day. Instead of feeling like a got hit by a truck (yesterday)...today I felt light as a feather. That is what daily, consistent practice brings...a whole gamut of stuff...sometimes we feel, heavy and weak, sometimes we feel strong, sometimes we feel like nothing hurts...other times everything hurts. That is just life. There are always ups and downs...the key is how we react to them. We decide...because its always a choice...to be in a state of grace...or do we resist and push against? For every circumstance the day brings weather joy or sorrow...there is a lesson to be learned...there is a chance for growth and expansion. Of course, I am still learning these lessons...and my daily practice at the shala has been very interesting. Like for instance today I was a little put out because I was placed right by the door...where all the traffic moves in and out...and a drafty cool breeze comes in. These little annoyances are good...its good to be out of one's element...its good to be a bit uncomfortable at times...then I can see if the yoga is really working. Thankfully, once I was started breathing and moving...nothing else mattered. This has been the theme of my life this year thus far...go to those places that are not so comfortable...and see what comes of it...it may not be so bad. I just may be better for it. Peace.

Hot Times in the City

"The everyday practice is simply to develop a complete acceptance and openness to all situations and emotions, and to all people, experiencing everything totally without mental reservations and blockages, so that one never withdrawals or centralizes into oneself.
-Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche

What a learning experience is has been being this far from home already. For one, I have never met so many people from all over the world in one time as I have here...and it proves how alike we all really are...how connected we are...no separation...and it makes me wonder how the world can be so divided too. I mean, we all want the same things right?...essentially to be happy, to love and to be loved, to feel freedom. It has been so interesting. The other day I met an older gentleman from Iraq who was visiting his son at the university. We had a wonderful conversation...and he couldn't of been more kind and gracious. Of course, he asked me if I liked George Bush. I simply replied that he wasn't my favorite president...he laughed at me. We continued to have a pleasant conversation...talking a little on politics but that proved to be boring and mundane after while...soon things shifted to the good things in life. I was amazed how much dignity and grace this gentleman had...and he seemed truly happy...never being negative at all toward me or where I was from. Pretty cool. Life can be so simple if we allow it.
Yesterday, my new friend and I did some serious sightseeing...we were on a mission! First we went out to Karanji Lake. It was very peaceful out there...nice to get away from the hustle and bustle of Mysore for a bit. After that we had our auto-rickshaw driver take us up Chamundi Hill...which is one of the eight scared hills of India. It was very crowded...being it was Saturday. I was surprised that the place was inundated with monkeys!! I hear they can be quite aggressive at times...but today the seemed to be having a good...very peaceful. I took lots of pictures of the temple...there must of been several hundred people waiting in line to get in...I decided to make my visit inside another day. However, the view of Mysore a top the hill was spectacular! You could see just about everything up there. Afterwards, we ventured out to one of Mysore's palaces...and you'll have to excuse me for a forgot the name to the place. It was a beautiful building...they just don't make'em like they used to! Of course, to top it off we did more shopping! Good grief!!
Practice this morning was another led class. I don't know what was going on with me but after practice I was exhausted...very tired. Hamstrings were unusually sore again. However, Tim did tell me that in Mysore first month, tired...second month, pain...third month, flying! Looks like there will be a challenging few months ahead. Today, tired...very tired. Peace.

Monkey Business

Well...Let's just say I have been slacking a bit with my blog...missing several days of entries...but that doesn't mean I haven't been doing much. I been out exploring more...experiencing Mysore...adventuring out of Gokolum...seeing the sights. Not to worry though, I am still a yoga bum. I am very proud of that. I just wasn't doing a good job of it the last several days...now I am wiped out. That good tired you get from feeling like you experienced something new!
Also, since being here I have had a bit of digestive issues. I won't go into detail...but food hasn't been sticking to me all that much. I've lost a few lbs...but I still feel healthy. I have just tried to back off on some of the spicy foods...even though I love it. However, things have leveled off...stomach is feeling so much better today.
Along with yoga practice...I enrolled in a Sanskrit reading, writing, and chanting class at AYRI. We meet 3x's a week, and that has been enjoyable. Might as well learn as much as I can while I am here. I met a bloke (I had to say that) from Australia who knows someone who teaches copoeria too...I will be checking into that while I am here as well.
So, I thought the fact that I am far from the States that my shopping addiction would subside while in India. WRONG. I love it. I have been going a little overboard and its only been over a week since I have been here. I really need to pace myself...and my money! I am sure the novelty of it will wear off at one point. However, I promised today that I am done for at least a month. I mean I have bought clothes (Fabindia...I highly recommend), jewelry, pashminas.....books...I gotta stop. Seriously.
Me and my friend from Thailand did some dead serious sight seeing in and around Mysore...which I will go into detail in my next entry...its getting late and I need to be up at 4:00am for yoga class. Peace.

"A human being is a part of the whole called by us 'the universe,' a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest--a kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening the circle of understanding and compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."
-Albert Einstein

Today, I don't have much to comment on...but to express gratitude. After practice today I was overwhelmed by it...as I sat in padmasana. Seeing the chair that Guruji sits in right before me...I couldn't help but to feel his energy...to feel his presence. This place is such a big part of him...and it is amazing to witness how many people he has touched with his legacy. It gives me the inspiration to carry on and live my truth...my dream...with love and compassion. Peace.

Yoga Bum

This has been fabulous. The last several days I have totally turned into a yoga bum. Something I have always dreamed of...because much of my life has been go! go! go! Well this really isn't the place to do that. Even if I tried. Especially with the days leading up to my trip...I completely stressed myself out with everything. So, I am giving myself permission to unwind. No expectations, no plans (except to make morning yoga), no doing, doing, doing. I wish I had all these adventures, and escapades to talk about, but I would be making it up...that will come later ;) There will be plenty of time for all of that.
Yoga this morning was delightful. My hamstrings were a bit sore, but nothing that couldn't be worked out. I continue to do primary, which is to be expected, and may be all I do my next 3 months here. We'll see how it goes. The ritual of getting up before the sun, walking to the shala, practicing, drinking coconut water afterwards, and taking rest has been really enjoyable. Simple pleasures. Then after taking a short nap after practice I eat breakfast...which takes about an hour to two hours. Believe me this has been completely foreign to me...but I love it. I could possibly live this way forever.
Many yoga students that I have run into seem to have a similar story. I have already met some who have all of their belongings in a storage unit...so I am definitely not alone in my plight. It is so freeing and inspiring to hear someone say..."I may stay here for a couple months or so...and we'll see what happens...maybe I'll jump over to Thailand for a bit...maybe I'll travel up north." I like the idea of being more free spirited and making time to see more of the world...getting out of the bubble. I really feel this trip will be a jumping off point for me to see more possibilities in my life...and that is really exciting. Peace.

The Journey

"We don't know all the reasons that propel us on a spiritual journey,
but somehow our life compels us to go.
Something in us knows that we are not just here to toil at our work.
There is a mysterious pull to remember." -Jack Kornfield

This morning was the first day of Mysore style practice since the shala reopened. There are about roughly 60 registered students here and a total of a 100 are to be expected from what I hear. So, practice times are staggered. I was scheduled for 5:45am...but I made sure I arrived 15 minutes early...because AYRI time is always 15 minutes ahead...again this is something that I picked up from someone else. I just do my best to follow along, because I am clueless! No doubt. The main room was packed and filled with steam...from all the tapas being burned! I sat and waited in the sitting area to wait for a space to open up. It didn't take long even though there were several others ahead of me. All you do is wait until you hear Sharath or Sarawati shout "one more!!"...while a student quickly moves on into the main room to fill the spot. Its really amusing! I love it. It doesn't take much.
Practice was great. The room was already so warm when I arrived that I felt little resistance in my body. The ujjai breath that filled the room helped to make it feel like the room its self was breathing. It made so easy just to get into that space...and flow. I have no complaints. Again, I am just glad to be here...right now.
Living in Mysore or Gokolum really, which is an of shoot of the city, takes some getting used to. Obviously, life here is very different from what I am used to. However, I am really loving it. I love the climate. It seems to do me well. Tropical climates do me well. I love it. There is a quaintness here that is so special and something that isn't often experienced in the states. Also, I love that I get to walk to many places. Back in Columbus it is hard to survive without a car. Which is too bad. We always have metal and steel that separates us from day to life vs. mixing things up and interacting with one another more often. Peace.

Taking it In...

So far I am enjoying Mysore quite nicely! I feel like I am finally settling...taking everything in one moment at a time. I do need to pace myself however, since I will be here for 3 months. No need to rush and try to do everything at once. Sleep is still a little off...but it gets better and better with each passing day. I have already met some very interesting people from all over the world...which is to be expected. However, the Americans I have met don't seem to be too found of our country...but, I haven't met everyone. The other yoga student who rents from where I am staying is from England. I am so easily amused by him, especially when he says brilliant, bloke, or rubbish! Doesn't take much to get me tickled over it. He was kind enough to walk me to AYRI to get registered and everything my first full day here.
Last Friday I met a trio of girls who are from Thailand while I was having dinner at Anu's, which is a fabulous place to eat here in Gokolum catering to yoga students. I am not sure how it happened but they talked me into going to a dance club. First off, I had no idea there was any type of night life here...that was a bit of a surprise. So, the next thing I know I am on the back of one of those dreadful motorscooters that I swore I would never get on. I white-knuckled it the whole way there, hanging on for dear life. It wasn't that I didn't trust the driver....I just don't trust the other drivers on the road. Driving doesn't make sense here. Again, there just isn't much adherence to traffic regulations. However, I am told that not many accidents happen. Interesting. So, this dance place was a scream. It had all the decor anyone would see in a club in the states...and they played decent music...I had no idea! Kind a funny. Some drank cocktails...but, I didn't...I was still trying to pull myself out of dehydration from travel and getting used to the heat. But it was a good time...I met some very nice people there.
Saturday, I did a bit of shopping with my house mate...wandering around the area. It was a good relaxing day...no worries.
Practice this morning...lead primary again. Sharath opened the gates a bit later than normal. Of course there was already a decent group of students patiently waiting when I arrived. Like I said before...a motivated bunch! Not uncommon for Ashtangis! I was warned before hand that some can get pretty territorial about their spot in the shala. So I just went straight to the back...(don't want to make waves) where I am in the room is the very least of my worries in life and practice. I'm just glad to be here. Practice felt so much better vs. Friday because I felt like I inhabited my body this time. I didn't realize students would be stopped in a lead class...while they just sit and wait for finishing postures. Interesting approach. I had no idea this was done in a lead class...only in Mysore class. Interesting. However, I squeezed by without being stopped...we'll see how it goes when Mysore starts tomorrow.
So far everything has been great! Its the life ya know...get up do yoga, then drink out of a coconut! Thats all I have to worry about everyday for the next 3 months. Love it!

I'm Finally Here

I made it to India! I made it to Mysore. I still can't believe I am here. After having wanted to come here for a long time...I have only been here for roughly a night and two days and it seems that much time has passed. Let me just back up for a moment. On Wednesday evening 5:15pm I touched down in Bangalore International Airport. Let's just say that for a city of this size there was only one working baggage claim...so it took a while to get the luggage. Then a trolley quickly...I don't know how it happened takes my bags and walks me out the airport. Some how he swindles me out of 500 rupees. Just a tip...Never tell anyone its your first time here! No matter, you live and learn. When I reserved a taxi...I was instructed to look for my name one a sign board just outside. I walked out and I swear there were over 100 sign boards starring at me and that's a conservative estimate!! If I wouldn't have been totally out of my mind I might have freaked out...but I swear I was so tired that a bomb could of gone off 10 feet in front of me and I wouldn't have flinched. Luckily, I found my driver and we were off...but not quite...because the traffic in Banagalore is INSANE! Some how there is a method to the madness. But, oh my! I have never seen anything like it! There seems to be absolutely no attention paid to any type of traffic laws or regulations that one sees in the States...And the honking is constant...people play their horns like instruments here. Its a sight to see...and of course, with in all the mix of cars, autorickshaws, and motorcycles...every once in a while you can see a cow chillin' in all the traffic (cows are sacred here) ...I saw a camel too!! Amazing! It took about 3 hours to get to Mysore...however I swear half of that time was just getting out of the Bangalore craziness. The whole drive I was in and out of consciousnesses...after while all the honking didn't faze me.
I stayed one night at the Green Hotel...I don't think a shower ever felt so good! The staff offered me dinner...but literally I was so delierious that I refused...I couldn't wait to crash. The next day I was able to check into Shakti House, where I will be staying for the remainder of my 3 month stay. I couldn't be happier with it. My room is large and spacious, I have my own bathroom...its a very nice place. Later, I was able to register at AYRI...the shala is awesome...not exactly what I expected. I had this full circle moment...like...I'm here...finally...I made it! I took my first class the following morning...Lead Primary (Friday)...and the shala was already packed even though I left early. I should have known...being with a group of ashtangis. Always a very enthusiastic bunch! So, I was way in the back...but I couldn't care less...I was here! Hooray!! Practice and all is coming...right?! Peace.

Ready, Set...Go!

Its been a long time since I have posted...for one reason only...I was paralyzed. Not in the physical sense of course...in a deeper sense. Just, to update...during Tim Miller's fabulous workshop I had quite a few valuables stolen from my purse (cellphone, digital camera, iPod, LV clutch...and some damn good lip gloss!)...but the most valuable thing taken was my passport and visa...for my trip to India! I would of traded in more just to have that back at the time. So, after this happened I was seriously in shock, and dismay...what am I gonna do? I felt hopeless...! But that inner voice was like...your gonna make that trip...no matter what!
So...of course after this all happened I had to find the meaning behind it. I know...sounds pretty annoying...huh? But, so many things ran through my head...is this a bad omen? What's the lesson? Did I karmicly shit on someone? (I stole that from AY). However, it doesn't have to be that complicated...maybe the lesson is just that...Don't leave your purse unattended!!!! That's a good lesson. But truthfully a couple days before the event I was experiencing alot of doubt about myself...and my journey...and I felt very alone...scared even. I had no idea...no inkling of the flood of love and support that was to follow...even now I am in awe by it. It was almost like the universe was showing me...no,no...you are supported, and loved...and your never ever alone. It doesn't have to be that way...
So, in perfect Laruga fashion...I just barely made it...by the skin of my teeth! My passport and visa had to be hand delivered to me at my layover in NYC. Talk about a nail bitter to the very end. Seriously, when I got on my plane in Columbus...I'm sitting back thinking okay! I'm off! Until, I hear the pilot say..."I can't get it to work!" That is something you never want to hear before your getting ready to take of for the blue skies! So, we had to wait for the mechanics to install a part for the pilot's control panel. I'm just sitting there thinking...I gotta make my check point to meet the courier who has my passport between 8:30-9:00am. Of course, I make it to JFK international late! But, not to worry...the courier was kind enough to wait (he better for $200)...It almost felt like some kind of drug deal...anyway...the courier was super nice and he was kind enough to help me make my connection. Bonus!
Right now I am utterly exhausted from the 12 hour flight from NYC to Dubai...for I barely slept a wink...and I think I watched 5 movies straight. Yes! I started with Little Miss Sunshine, then Dream Girls, following The Queen, The Departed, The Holiday, and The Pursuit of Happiness. Omg! That's six!
Just as a side note...Emirates Airlines is first class all the way! The best airline I have ever flown...and their flight attendants don't walk...they glide! Its too much! So I am patiently waiting to make my connection to Bangalore, India...with little or no sleep.
I am stepping into the unknown...and I can't think of anywhere else I would rather be!!! Peace!

Loneliness, Grief & Fear

Unexpectedly...after feeling pretty darn good...I feel as if I'd been hit by a ton of bricks. After rounding out the 2nd day of Tim Miller's workshop I felt sad...and I had no idea why. Even though I have a regular practice...there is something that happens when moving and breathing in a room stuffed with a little over 50 people. Something shifted...something got kicked up.
I've had this little nagging knot in my lower back/left side for a couple months and it was released after our primary series practice...which felt good...but the emotions that were tied to it really hit hard. I had this overwhelming sense of loneliness that took a hold of me...a heaviness. I went home not really willing to go there...but knowing full well something weighed heavily on my heart. Next morning, again I felt heaviness and sadness but I kept it in check. But, after today's session I could barely make to my car before having a total breakdown. What the hell? Where is this coming from? What's wrong? Again, I just felt...so alone, and scared. I could barely breathe. Wow, stuff can really get stuck in the body. Stuff I wasn't even aware was there. So...I had a really good cry...and I let all that sadness run through me...I allowed it to release...I surrendered to it...without judging it. I mean...I went into the ugly cry...hiccuping all over the place...it wasn't pretty. But, it couldn't be ignored any longer.
I reached out to some of my friends and they really helped me...assuring me that these feelings are a good place to be...because sometimes there is pain in the growth process...there is no turning back is there. Nope! Definitely not. Once you go into these places within yourself and you experience truth...old ways of being...our false identifications have a funny way of falling away. But, it can be hard to let go too. It may be simple...but it certainly isn't easy. So...I am still trying to figure it all out...unfolding to the process. However, I am realizing that I am not alone. And, I thank God for my friends...who allow me to be who I am and love me anyway. I am amazed by them. I learn so much from them...and my heart feels so full when I think about how much they have enhanced my life. Grace happens. It surely does. Peace.

No Drama

My blog posts have mostly been reflective because...Quite frankly, there has been no drama. Nada...Nothing...I mean, its been nice. I can see how we can get caught up...Or even addicted to the constant "reactions" that take place in our minds. I haven't felt this type of peace in a long time. Come to think of it...I am not sure if I ever have. Even my childhood was filled with an abundance of ups and downs...and my teen years and 20s...Let's not even go there!!!
Its so funny how in just a few weeks I'll be traveling to India for the very first time, but It hasn't been consuming my mind, because I have been really enjoying life...My simple life, right now. Sounds so exciting right! Most nights I am at home reading, playing with my kittens, or just sitting around...Maybe cleaning. Who knows...Maybe its the calm before the storm...Or the calm before the calm, before...I guess its pointless to forecast...Because right now is all we have. Gosh! I never really got it before...and finally its making sense. At least enough sense that I can grasp at the moment...but wow...I'm in awe with it all. I probably sound so hokey, but when you come out of some of the inner turmoil I was living for so long...Its like I'm taking a breath for the first time, and I can't get enough of it!
The World is really what we make it. Just be. Be the love, the peace, the joy...and it will surround you like a moth to a flame. Its true.
Peace.

Je Ne Sais Quoi

Je Ne Sais Quoi...I absolutely love the essence of this saying...Heck, I love saying it. You know it when you see it. The way someone holds themselves...The way they move, laugh, talk...Many times we think its the clothes that they wear...But its not. It is literally someone who knows themselves and knows how to work what they got. I love that. I love it when I see it in someone. It inspires me to move forward and work what I got too. Its funny...Because you can't get there by copying someone else either. Believe me I have tried...In my earlier years...It doesn't work...Never does. When we tap into our own desires, when we do good things for our body, mind and soul...Of course yoga is excellent for that...We too can reach a state of Je Ne Sais Quoi. Oh, and it is so beautiful...When we start living our life by our own standards and no one else's.
Especially after just turning 30 I have had to re-access...Why am I doing this?...Why am I in this relationship? So many things have gotten stuck in my head somehow because of conditioned thinking of how things should go in life. I mean who knows where it comes from exactly...parents, television, magazines, friends, relatives, teachers? Who knows. Finally, I have had a chance to ask...What do I want out of life? Its no wonder why I had became so exhausted by my 30th birthday...So depleted. Because, I wasn't living my dream...It was someone else's dream. So after many pieces being blown apart...I have slowly started to put them together. But, I am still choosing to leave some of those pieces unknown...Because those are for the universe to decide. Which is nice. For the first time in a long time...I feel good in my own skin. This is a big step for me. Peace.

Release Control

Finally I am ready to release control...for so many reasons. I am tired of having everything figured out. Its fun...being in that space of not knowing what is going to happen next. It does sound scary at times...but being in this open space has been so freeing. Having that trust in the universe taking care of the details always brings about the best scenario for growth and learning...even expansion.
I have also learned that this way of being does not mean being passive in life...what really matters is what we bring our focus on...and some how...some way life works out for the best...
Who knows...it's worth a try...doing this not having to be in control thing. So far it has bode well. It feels pretty good. When I 'release' I feel it is easier to connect to my higher wisdom...my higher self...and quite frankly this is a good place to be. Peace.

One Love

Lately my brain has been so active. I have been inundated with creative energy but I haven't been able to turn it off. I have been busy preparing and completing several projects for Balanced Yoga and since adding teaching Mysore to my schedule it has been a lot to get used to energetically. I am just trying to find balance...making sure I continue to plug in...take rest. But, I have to say it has been a rewarding tired...a good tired. It feels good because there is a sense of freedom that comes with it. I feel expansive...not contracted. Meditation group tonight was amazing as usual...more is beginning to shift in me...and all I can say is its exciting.
I know I sneaked in a previous post that I think I'm in love...It really isn't all that serious. The most important thing to me right now is to continue on this path I am going on...and we'll see what happens...but it will not be done on my part alone...Not this time. I am finally coming to terms that I deserving of love...of the purest kind. But, it has to start within me...I have to be happy with me first, it comes from inside...not from the outside.

No Turning Back

Bought my plane ticket to India! Going to Mysore. Wow, its really coming together. It hasn't sinked in that I will be on the other side of the world in less than a month. Gotta lot to do before then...but, I'm excited...I am excited to go on this adventure on my own. Its a big step for me.
I found out that Sharath will be primarily teaching at AYRI while Guruji is taking rest. So the shala will be open as of May 3rd. If anything...if I get only one chance to tell Guruji "thank you..." I will be eternally grateful. The practice...has forever changed my life and to say "thank you" would feel as if I have come full circle...Because early on when I started practicing Ashtanga Yoga I just knew I would make it to India someday...which I am sure many students feel that way.
So...3 months in India...I have never traveled some where and stayed for that long...besides going to college of course. It will be the perfect amount of time to settle in...get into a rhythm. I'm ready. I am finally ready to go forth and be happy, be free.

Answering the Call

It is amazing when we follow our hearts...our calling, how things just seem to fall into place...how everything just seems to workout. After leaving the corporate world...maybe forever...there was a sense of trepidation and fear...because the security of having to rely on a steady paycheck was no longer going to be there. Surrender, Trust, Gratitude...Surrender control...Trust and know everything will work out for the best...Have gratitude for the process...for without that...how do we learn?...how do we evolve and grow?
This month I will be organizing and getting ready for my first trip to Mysore, India. Even though Sri K. Pattabhi Jois is sick right now...I still want to go through with the trip...I feel I have no other choice. I must go...I have to go...this pull to go there is beyond me...even though I am a little scared to travel that far by myself...Oh well...The excitement far outweighs the fear.