Strength For Yoga with Purple Valley Yoga Retreat Center

I filmed a strength building series at Purple Valley Yoga Retreat Center. Of course this isn't used to replace the yoga practice but only to help fill gaps in our process of building more refined strength. Hope you enjoy! 

Just Practice Ashtanga Yoga

A beautiful and inspiring demonstration by Alexandros from Greece. 

Jump Back and Jump Through Tips

A few tips on the jump back and jump through.

The Impossible - Ashtanga Yoga Demonstration

"Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”   

(Muhammad Ali)

Above is my latest video demonstration, filmed and edited my dear friend Alessandro Sigismondi. As always it is a pleasure to share the experience of making these films together. We only desire to inspire and declare that yes things may seem impossible but that it is only temporary. With the right mindset the impossible becomes possible. 

I've been practicing yoga for 20 years now, 18 of those Ashtanga yoga, and maybe I am a slow learner but nothing came without consistent hard work. However, it is important to remember, it isn't the asana that is the reward, but the experience inside the journey of this practice that is! 

Raw and Ready

“There are two things we should always be 1. raw and 2. ready. When you are raw, you are always ready and when you are ready you usually realize that you are raw. Waiting for perfection is not an answer, one cannot say “I will be ready when I am perfect” because then you will never be ready, rather one must say “I am raw and I am ready just like this right now, how and who I am.”

(C. JoyBell C.)


Back in Mysore and so grateful to be here. Even with it being my 9th trip I am always filled with enthusiasm to have the opportunity to practice with my teacher. So much appreciation and love arises within me to stand before him and all that this practice and path represents. To also share it with others who understand and are inspired to live more deeply, more consciously, even in the mist of making our own mistakes and follies along the way. It's a part of living. What is important is that we try and put effort forth in the process. 

The first week always feels a bit magical. So maybe I am riding high on that feeling. Every trip has it's own energetic makeup. Some trips have been harder than others and no matter what arises it is always worth it. Growth is always happening. Sometimes there are cycles within cycles. We come full circle to start over again from another vantage point. I always like to have a sense of curiosity even in the repetition in the Ashtanga practice. Bringing new eyes to what I have done before. Everyday is different and no matter how much we try to control it, life is in a constant flow of change. 

This go around I traveled to Mysore from Goa so I didn't have that initial tiredness from travel when I landed. Coming from Goa was rather seamless. I already had my accommodations sorted and priority number one when I arrived was to register at KPJAYI. Still riding high on the incredible experience at Purple Valley I've been in a positive space and have the added gratification to have a month of simply being a student. In reality I am always a student no matter what role that I play but to have time set aside to only be a student and nothing else is rather priceless. 

When I leave Mysore I definitely look forward to being home but the funny thing is it doesn't take much time for the pull of India and the desire to practice at the source takes hold, as I count the days of my return. 

This Summer

Ta

Just under a month I've been back home after an intense and transformational summer in Mysore, India. As always it took me a while to land and digest all that transpired, and in many ways I feel as if I am still digesting. I know transformational is a word that is thrown around a lot these days, and the only way to describe it is something shifted, for better or worse, who knows. I felt challenged on every level, mentally, emotionally, physically and most definitely spiritually. I cried this summer more than I had in a long time. I was broken down to be built back up. A toning from the inside out. A reckoning. The buzz of practicing there has just about worn off. It seems like the more you hold on to it the faster it goes. At the same time there is an inkling of a light that has been lit and the knowing it won't ever burn out.

Having the opportunity to immerse oneself in the way that we did this past summer was an opportunity of a life time, and really every trip I feel it, but this was on another level. I am always so grateful to have the time and space to focus on practice, ultimately focusing on the truer parts of life. I need these reminders. If I didn't I would be lost. It all goes back to the quality we lead in our hearts and minds in day to day living. Thankfully the practice of yoga helps to lead us there.

Moving forward there is so much that comes to mind. It is so easy to be swept away by the rhythm of our rushed society. I'm learning not to be so dictated by it. I too see how distracted I can be and how challenging it is to maintain this internal connection, but no one said it would be easy. It comes down to one's thirst for ultimate freedom as I contemplate what is that really? What does that look like? I'm getting the tiniest sense of it and yet it feels exciting and scary at the same time. Funny how that works. It's like balancing on the edge of a razor. 

Sādanā: In the Heart of it All

"What is to give light must first endure burning"  

(Victor Frankel)

Sādhanā is often referred to as spiritual practice. However, much more is intertwined in the term and has been one of the main themes of the course here in Mysore this summer. In another light, sādhanā is our own masterpiece we create to connect to the Divine. This in turn takes consistent effort and determination and by no means comes easy and at the same time is a worthwhile endeavor that gives more everlasting happiness and fulfillment than we could ever imagine, but first, there is a climb. Each step reaching us closer to the goal while playing with the paradox of detachment.

Sādhanā is also viewed as an ego transcending practice. The goal being liberation and freedom from bondage (samāra). The steps take daily effort where in my case includes regular asana practice, pranayama, and self study and also evening japa, prayer and/or chanting. Tapas (the effort to achieve self-realization) comes in those days where the warmth and comfort of the bed tells us better to stay put but instead we throw the covers off and take the necessary steps toward the mat. Tapas can also be viewed as discipline, an important ingredient in cultivating one's sādhanā.

The practitioner is referred to as a sādhaka, an aspirant. One who skillfully applies the learned rituals and practices, uniting body, mind and soul toward the spiritual goal. A sādhaka is dutifully committed and enthusiastic, though that can wax and wane in the beginning, and doubt part of the path for some, overtime the wavering ceases as the sādhanā strengthens and becomes a way of life. The important part being the intention behind it, something R. Sharath Jois has stressed time and time again this summer. Simply bending the body and/or going through the motions of ritual with no internal reflection often bring fruitless results. Another word for this heart/mind intention is bhāvanā. Bhāvanā can be thought in terms of planting seeds. Our sādhāna makes for fertile ground but what seeds will we plant?

"The practice of yoga, as a whole, is a profound science of internal purification which leads practitioners very gradually to the realization of the non-difference between the jīvātma, or indwelling Self of the individual, and the paramātma, or Universal Self. For this to occur, a proper intention and direction of energies needs to be established from the outset of a practice; in Sanskrit, this is known as 'bhāvana.'"     

(Sri K. Pattabhi Jois, Sūryanamaskāra)

The thirst needs to be there. Yes, there may be days we feel apathetic; however, the beauty of our sādhāna is what it is pointing us to. This keeps it alive. It must stay alive within us. We must fan the flames. Each day carving out our masterpiece of transformation. The beauty being, no amount of effort is wasted. Each step, leading toward illumination.

Back in Mysore

KPJAYI - Mysore, India

I'm back in Mysore participating in a special course for selected authorized and certified practitioners/teachers of KPJAYI, directed by R. Sharath Jois. No, I won't be writing notes on the course here. Sorry to disappoint. I've actually never shared conference notes on my blog because I have always felt that no matter how well I may understand what is being spoken about it will still filter through my own lens, my own experience. And yes, may or may not always be accurate. I truly feel the path of yoga is one that is very personal in nature. One reason why I encourage many students of the practice to come to KPJAYI at some point to experience the community and the current holder of the tradition. Now that doesn't mean I never share my own insights on the practice because obviously I teach, but this usually happens with one on one contact over time, which again is born from my own experience. I think what garners maturity is the ability to tune in to each individual student through the practice. This naturally happens over time but can also come at anytime when steadfast at being open and receptive. Through that, my blog has always continued to be more personal in nature. I share things that inspire and I also write about my own experience within life and practice. Although, I haven't done so much of the latter lately. I'll explain more on why later.

Today we finished our first week and it was such a pleasure. A week of led Primary series to get into the groove and to land on our feet after for some grueling travel, and to simply feel settled. At the beginning of the week I was rather sore. Breathing and moving through Primary series is always different when done on your own no matter how you slice it. Sharath's led classes are extremely stamina building and at the same time I felt really good as the week winded down. It's true what they say, "Primary is like healing balm."

I did come to Mysore with a few tweaks that is for sure. I've had a funky right shoulder for over a year now. Also a tricky lower back depending on the day, and yeah, this temperamental right hip. No, I'm not completely broken, haha. It's just interesting how sensitive we become through the practice of yoga. Evermore receptive to the stuck energies of the body and learning how to navigate around that with more awareness and attunement. Much of it stems from adjusting students on a consistent basis. Teaching Mysore style is highly physical and demanding on the body at times, but by this point as teachers we are prepared for it in a sense from all the accumulated years of practice as well. However, no matter how you look at it it does have an effect over time. I think many teachers would attest to the fact that it is all worth it. The gift of teaching far out weighs the demands on the body.

As I prepare for my first rest day since arriving to Mysore I feel eternally blessed and grateful to this practice and to my teacher R. Sharath Jois for all of his selfless devotion and of course to Guruji. To have this time to focus primarily on practice and study is a gift and one I never want to take for granted.

Rebuilding

February was an interesting month coming off our annual two month trip to Mysore, India. I had a few ups and down during our stay in Mysore but as always the daily practice was our rooting force and of course the primary reason for being there. I started to get an itch in my throat our last few days which inevitably turned into full blown flu when I arrived back home. On top of that a sore shoulder that has been off and on over the past 8 months. Practice in Mysore no doubt always holds a certain amount of intensity and this year was no different if not more so. My practice was epic, meaning long. No doubt extremely strength building both physically and mentally. When I arrived home the hammer fell and I was held at a stand still in terms of the momentum of practice acquired in Mysore, so I thought. Let's just say I was laid out, worse than I had been in years. No practice for nearly a week. Afterward it left my body feeling weak from days of fever and muscle aches.

Reacclimatizing from humid, warm weather to cold and dry, and coming back from flu the practice felt like I had to start from the beginning on a certain level, at least physically. Mentally what I found was the stability established from months of focused practice in Mysore still carried me even though the body wasn't quite there yet. Although, I can't say it felt like a honeymoon. For whatever reason it didn't feel like the body wanted to bounce back as quickly as I have experienced before. Humbling and one that takes attentive awareness around the rough edges. This go around it felt like there were more rough edges than usual.

On the flip side I've had more energy so it has been an interesting mix during the healing process. Sometimes things are unexplainable. One reason to keep the overall scope and perspective of the practice at heart. I've learned how detaching ourselves to how we felt for a period before or even the day before is important. Every day brings a new beginning. Every day there is something new to learn and discover. An unfolding that isn't always what we thought it would be or should be. 

Just a Flexi-Girl . . .

“Earnestness is the path of eternity, thoughtlessness the path of death. Those who are in earnest do not die, those who are thoughtless are as if dead already.”  

(Buddha)

"Your just a flex-girl."

This is what a mutual peer and someone I considered a respected friend and colleague, told me a while back while having a conversation on none other than, asana practice. Often, talk has a way of going in that direction for whatever reason. When I heard the remark it took me a back. I was not only surprised but perplexed by the comment because it wasn't used in jest. Perplexed because if I misunderstood came off as if prior years of practice was all so easy. Funny how the act of consistent practice and discipline is never taken into consideration. However, I didn't spend too much time being offended by the comment because to say something like that is one lazy, and reflects more on the shortsighted view point of the one who said it.

So it got me thinking how easy it is to judge another, gravitating toward that something must have made it easier for someone to get where they are. There must be some excuse. It could be in regards to anything. Especially in a community where everyone likes to state their opinions about everything and everyone. It is then easy to miss all that happens in between. Often it is in the human condition that we don't even want to know the truth. We would rather rely on our own shortsighted judgements of someone else using the stories we make up in our heads as actual fact instead of learning a thing or two from the person we judge. In the end we miss a valuable opportunity to learn something.

It happens to the best of us when making snap judgements. This is where the mind likes to take us on any given day and like I said before and what I am realizing now is judgement comes out of laziness and the avoidance of truth. From truth comes responsibility, from truth we have to open rather than close. What we thought we knew may not be and for some a scary place because yes it takes more time to sit down with someone and really get to know them beyond the vision of our own lens. Then our stories don't carry much weight anymore. Wow, what freedom if only willing to step into understanding instead of fault finding!

Beyond judgement it also has me thinking what a disservice it does to comment on someone's practice in that regard or even their physical makeup. I've had a number of students with natural flexibility and in my eyes I'm like, so what. Whether flexible or hyper stable there is a sadhana (spiritual practice) being done and as a teacher I support one's sadhana. The result relies solely on the individual far beyond the performance of asana. It's not necessarily about mastering something external but about exploring each moment in each asana through conscious breath. The beauty viewed in practice stems from an internal alignment. The funny thing is some of my most sincere and humble students may have a few areas of natural ability but that in turn doesn't stop them from desiring to go ever deeper into the essence and truth of what this yoga tradition offers. One can never get the full story from the outside.

I think on another level it saddens me when we reduce things down on a level that in truth doesn't do much good for the one commenting or the one receiving the comment. If we understand that yoga practice leads to self-realization and the actualization of our true potential there isn't much to debate on what one does on the outside. It reminds me of what one student asked during a workshop I taught recently in regards to what I thought of her practice. I simply told her, "You're practicing consistently, I'm already impressed. Many stop long before where you are now. Just keep going. Keep exploring. This is what matters."

Steady Practice

"You should not be practicing to have a “good” practice, but instead to keep steadiness within yourself. Practice happily regardless of whether it is “good” or not. Sometimes some postures will not be possible, but when you accept the good and the bad and everything becomes equal for you, that is yoga."   

(R. Sharath Jois)

The above quote by R. Sharath Jois has been floating around lately and I thought I would share it as well. I can't express enough how important his words are. Remembering that it's the attributes and strength of character we bring to our mats that carry more weight versus how we perform and execute each asana. Obviously, it doesn't mean we don't still study and learn to more deeply inhabit the postures we practice, but going deep doesn't always mean being as flat as a pancake or as light as a feather. Everything equal. Embracing it all. Even in the mist of heaviness, ache, and stiffness. 

Let the Practice be the Guide

“Now be silent. Let the One who creates words speak. He made the door, He made the lock, and He also made the key.”

(Rumi)

Practicing and teaching I've experienced resistance  on various levels in myself and have observed it in the students I assist on a daily basis. Sometimes the resistance we face comes across quite clear as it screams at us for attention. Other times it sneaks up without a warning dressed in disguise. Resistance. It's always around lurking. I've been fascinated with the topic in that I've felt it on a personal level over the past six months. It seems to run in cycles often making itself known more prominently at certain times than others. What I have found is acknowledging its presence no matter how much you wish it wasn't there, even in the mist of feeling to simply show up takes every bit of energy you have, there is an opportunity for growth in the struggle. Afterward, when the clouds have cleared usually on the other side of it a wellspring of growth and expansion awaits. 

Allowing what is to be is one of the most arduous of internal practices we face on and off the mat. Because after we have experienced our honeymoon period from attaining the "goodies" of yoga practice have worn off some of the most extensive work is about to begin. This is the yoga. The goodies only give a small taste of the true experience. A fractional glimpse into the eye of the proverbial storm, but we have to go through the storm at some point and resistance is part of that storm. 

Not all situations will be ideal. There will be days our bodies will feel stiff, and our minds will  feel as if it sits within the depths of hell. In turn we may experience apathy and boredom as we are seduced by our expectations of how things should be. Of course, this is the play of the mind and the craving of the ego. There is really is no need to judge when resistance crops up because it is inevitable. However, what will we put in its place? A question worth contemplating. 

I know for me the practice has evolved and changed over the years. In the beginning there was an abundance of excitement and enthusiasm. Everything felt new and every challenge was something that motivated me to tread forward. I still feel this to some extent but more and more the focus rests in the quiet unchanging part of myself because after while the realization that the body is in a constant state of flux and ultimately impermanent is experienced. Change is always happening and acknowledgement of that makes the ride all the more graceful. The important thing to remember is the effort and steadfastness we put forth to practice as we rest in this quiet space of awareness is more important then any of the postural goodies we can acquire. Even in the mist of injury, apathy, boredom, fatigue, and depression, all these struggles must be faced head on and there is really no need to wish it were different. Everything in time passes. Grace happens when we let go of the need for it to be any other way. 

As a teacher it can be one of the most honest discussions I can have with a student. No, it won't always be easy, and no it won't always be fun, but I will tell you, it will be worth it. 

“Underneath all of your desires is a truer desire—the longing for the truth, the longing to be free. This realization can be profoundly liberating because it makes all other desires irrelevant. Getting what you want no longer matters as much as truth. Whether you are comfortable or uncomfortable in the moment no longer matters because what matters is the truth. What matters is Oneness.” 

(Nirmala, Nothing Personal)

Friday Favs

I've been craving more lightness in my life, hence the above videos. I especially love the first one. It reminds me how brilliance is manifested through practice. Pure and simple. No matter the craft, it must be practiced to achieve mastery, as the practice in itself holds us in the center of our being. To the core.  

The second clip is for pure enjoyment. All these rhymes take me back and I love it. 

Thorn

I love instagram!

“In the stillness of the mind I saw myself as I am - unbound.”

—	Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

Been out in no man's land for the month of Feb, figuratively. It always takes a month to readjust after trips to India. The longer the trip sometimes the longer the adjustment. Over the years I've learned how to re-enter with more awareness and hopefully with a semblance of grace. It isn't really all that bad. I packed in a fair amount of work for when I arrived back so I got myself up to speed rather quickly. Probably better to slowly ease in, but it couldn't be helped after we were delayed arriving back home. Now March is here!. More light, even though still cold, makes a huge difference in terms of morale. I'm always astonished by this. I used to find it strange when Swedes would bask in the sunlight, eyes closed, head raised skyward, whenever there would be even a tiny ray of light available. Let's just say, I understand. I bask, but not in anyone's view, hahaha. It's like being thirsty, dying for a drink of water, but in terms of needing sunlight. I just don't think I could hack an entire winter here. Like I said before it's not really the cold, it's the lack of light that can be a challenge.

Though I didn't go into full fledged winter blues I felt more raw this winter than pervious interludes, and that's really the best way to describe it. I can only imagine what it would have been like if I didn't travel to India. I know, I sound soft. I definitely felt it in practice. Sometimes during, I would feel as if being skinned alive. Raw. Strange feeling, I know. It sounds intense but I can't really say it was intense like an overwhelming feeling but more like something slowly creeping up on me. This raw feeling would follow me through out the day. Sensitive to others energies in a way that had a different texture and quality. See I'm not really intellectual in my intuitions. When I have a hunch, it will come to me in a feeling that I can only describe as you would a cashmere sweater or sand paper.

Strange things have been going on with my back and it literally varies from one day to the next. So in that sense, my attention can't afford to waver. Leaving nothing to chance. The best way to describe it is I literally have a thorn in my side (right lower back). I have inklings as where this stems from on various levels. I'm gonna have to tune into the subconscious. Maybe there is something there. Maybe not. Ha! There always is.

Diffinitive Moments

That Atman alone, that state of simplest form of awareness alone, is worthy of seeing, hearing, contemplating, and realizing.  - Upanishads

It's interesting, I've made a number of trips to Mysore, thankfully, and each time I come I feel extremely grateful. It isn't always easy to make the trip, but it always ends up being worth it. At the same time, I'm reminded on what is important in terms of coming here.

Reminiscent of preparing to make my first trip I was offered worthy guidance from a senior teacher, who will remain nameless. He told me don't get caught up in how many times you go or for how long, or for how many years, because often people use that as a marker to mean they have reached something higher and all that doesn't matter. What matters is right now. That doesn't takeaway from the experiences; the good times, the bad times, the pain and the breakthroughs. And with all that, it still goes back to the point we sit in in each moment in our practice.

Each time I come to Mysore it brings a different energy. I am always fascinated by this. A new layer. Something new to contemplate or develop. As I lean into discomfort on and off the mat new freedom is found. It's in these definitive moments that hold a world of value. Believe me, I don't always step into discomfort with grace. I have experienced aggravation, and unimaginable lows and I've learned it never really serves me to sweep these feelings under the rug no matter how uncomfortable they are. This is the fuel transformation is made of. All of it serves a purpose in the greater scheme of things. 

Over the years with more conscious practice under my belt I realize the importance of not taking the whole process too seriously, and at the same time, I feel more inspired and devoted as ever. It has been a big step for me to laugh at my follies and internal weaknesses to then be able to pick up the pieces more joyfully, versus judging where I think I need to be in the moment. What does it mean to be a yogi or to tread this path? I often ask myself. Within my limited understanding, in my heart I feel it means being true to whatever arises, banishing the fear and judgement that may present itself from me and others. The search for validation on any level has always been paralyzing. 

If I stay true to my heart space, even when the mind revolts, at least I've taken a leap worth jumping for. 

Maturity Doesn't Always Come with Age

“The willingness to forgive is a sign of spiritual and emotional maturity. It is one of the great virtues to which we all should aspire. Imagine a world filled with individuals willing both to apologize and to accept an apology. Is there any problem that could not be solved among people who possessed the humility and largeness of spirit and soul to do either -- or both -- when needed?” ― Gordon B. Hinckley

Maturity doesn't always come with age. Age is just a number of how many years we have been on the planet and doesn't signify the quality and maturity of the soul. At least this has been my experience. What I find interesting is some of the most inspiring people I have met lately have been those much younger than me. I've been amazed at the insight and quality many young people bring to the table and luckily many have crossed my path. It's funny because it doesn't make me feel insecure, but it enlivens and reminds me that it's time to continue to broaden my scope. That's the beauty of some of the youth coming up today because they are revelling in possibility and connection. They get it and aren't nearly as afraid and fearful. Honestly it's a breath of fresh air and I welcome it and will continue to encourage them even as I steadily do my own internal work.

With the New Year, I'm reminded that the time lived doesn't matter. It is how we use the time we are given that matter. Yeah, I can practice Yoga everyday but it is in the application of practice in my life that carries the most weight. Years racked up are meaningless if I haven't made the definitive choices to allow transformation to happen.

Youth is definitely an energy. And in the same light, some of the most youthful people I know are much older than me. Curiosity and the willingness to learn keep this energy in motion and are not only the markers of the youthful but the wise.

Like it or not, we are coming into an age where labels, status symbols, and hierarchies are becoming obsolete. Associations are not the only thing that gets us anywhere. It is in the heart of our intentions and the truth we carry within ourselves that will be the fuel to drive us forward and upward.

True. 

Samastitihi

Mysore, India

“You need not get at it, for you are it. It will get at you, if you give it a chance. Let go your attachment to the unreal and the real will swiftly and smoothly step into its own. Stop imagining yourself being or doing this or that and the realization that you are the source and heart of all will dawn upon you. With this will come great love which is not choice or predilection, nor attachment, but a power which makes all things love-worthy and lovable.” 

— Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

Finished my third week in the shala. Often, I find myself thinking after practice, wow, I made it through another one, and what a privilege it is. The depth available is never ending, and just knowing this allows me to relax into the fact there is no need to arrive anywhere. The quality and attention I bring to every aspect of practice has spoken more than the accumulation of more. In the end, it is all the same. How great is it to simply stand in samastitihi. There is so much there. On the outside it looks to be simple, but the energy and attention brought into this pose is endless. Steady awareness even in the mist of simplicity culminates into what is deemed as more advanced postures. After deeper study, I've found it is another illusion to look through as I taste the core and essence of steady awareness into the simplest of actions. It only grows from there.

More than practice, bringing quality and attention into everything I do, especially when interrelating with others has become a practice to take off the mat. When offering an open ear it is amazing what people will reveal. I'm touched when an offering and sharing of experience is given even when it isn't always pretty and perfect. In the listening, a breakdown of the barriers of I, me and my, takes shape.

I've had various teachers in my life and one from my past always spoke of the principle of softening. Back then, I didn't understand the full scope of what she was trying to relate to me. On a cerebral level I got it, but not on a heart level. Now, I've come to a point where I am not only understanding what she spoke of, but I am also experiencing it. Softening isn't about being a push over, but it is a yielding energy that holds timeless strength. It's a letting go of attachment and allowing the truth of who I am to simply be present. There are times when a resistance toward this creeps into my awareness, and I've learned to give it time to play out. The choice not to engage with it brings challenges, but when I hold steady in observation, it then starts to dissipate.

As the sweat pushes out of my pores during intense practices I think to myself, please God, wash away all that blocks my inner light and my connection to YOU. It is only through surrender and the willingness to be pushed off the cliff that my spirit can take flight. The scope of my mind is minuscule in comparison to my soul's knowing.

Why can't I always trust this?

Baby steps, I suppose. Something I'd like to sit with today or better yet, STAND FULLY IN. 

Shattered

"He whose happiness is within, whose contentment is within, whose light is all within, that yogi, being one with Brahman, attains eternal freedom in divine consciousness."  

(Bhagavad-Gita)

Shattered. That pretty much describes my practice today, and I wouldn't want to be any other way. I love practicing here. If I'm not willing to meet my edge then what's the point? 

Practice, Practice, Practice . . .

 Jackfruit 

"The practice of asanas and pranayama is learning to control the body and the senses so the Inner light may come forth. That light is the same for the whole world and it is possible for man to experience this light, his own Self through correct Yoga practice. This is the natural outcome of a good practice and one will gradually learn to control the mind because one eventually will come to experience the very support of it. But the mind is indeed very difficult to control, but everything is made possible with right practice. We must therefore first and foremost practice, practice, practice for any real understanding of Yoga to take place. Then eventually we will be able to break the fixed patterns of the mind and taste the greater underlying support of it all.” 

- Sri K. Pattabhi Jois

 The Shala

 Coconut Time

First week, practicing in the shala, I'm always on a high. With feelings of comfort, exhilaration, mixed in with the energy of everyone in the room, let's just say, after a year of practicing alone, there is no other place I'd rather be. And, let's not forget the heat of tapas being burned. Settling into this breath paced practice, I hop onto the wave, and simply enjoy the ride. Second week, which I'm in the mist of now, reality sets in. The kinks in the body arise. When the high of the first week wears off, the real work begins. It will be a steady climb before I start to coast again. It always works out this way. 

It also takes a while to decompress from the pace of living compared to home. In India, one quickly learns that everything works left of center. Never quite right. Never fully efficient, but somehow things come together anyway. A good lesson in giving up control or else live the alternative of beating your head up against a brick wall. It's never fun and you'll tire of it eventually. 

Six trips, I feel blessed and thankful to have had the opportunity to come and as often as I have. I know it isn't always easy for those out there who are balancing many things to put together the trip. I know this, and it reminds me to never take it for granted. I think for me my first trip to India really put what I deemed important into perspective. Growing up in the U.S., quite frankly, I was forced fed a bunch of bullshit. Force fed good stuff too, but when young it was confusing distinguishing between my own growing intuition and knowing, and the cultural mores that surrounded me. I know this might be controversial for some, and no matter, it has brought me to this point of discovery. Freedom isn't always what we think it to be. Think on that. What does it really mean to be free? 

In the same light, I honor the balance of deepening yoga practice and creating a life out in the world of material. Some can use trips to Mysore as an escape, and quite frankly, I find dipping my toes into both worlds deems useful in honoring what it means to bring yoga into life. How can we know that the practice has done it's work? 

Through the years, with more practice, something more wants to be born. I find this exciting. I feel through yoga practice we uncover gifts, and it's our responsibility to bring it forward or else grow stagnant. In many ways, it's an offering. Our service to the world. Opening up to this there's a sense of release, and at the same time, a comfort in not knowing it all. When I'm here I like to keep my eyes and ears open as I tune into my awareness. Can I learn something new through my encounters? Can I be open and release all notions of knowing something. Because yoga doesn't work through association alone and idle gossip. It never has. 

Pulse

"Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes. If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralyzed. Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as bird wings."  -Rumi

I've been called out. Update your blog, please. Yeah, you know who you are. So, I'm getting my ass in gear. I can't call myself any semblance of a writer if I don't write. Now, I'm not saying I'm good at it. No. It's just a craft I'd like to hone in on in the coming year. With that being said, I have writers all around me, blatantly showing me where I lack. Through thick and thin you must WRITE. It takes discipline, it takes focus, perseverance. Hmmmmm. Something else comes to mind as I speak, or write, about these attributes. Oh yeah, that little thing I do every morning and share with others on a regular basis. 

So, what have I been up to, and why have I been lacking in the blogging department? Yes, I have already racked up a long list of lame excuses. For starters, there has been loads of travel in the past 6 months. Even more reason to write. Lame excuse there. Two, sometimes I feel like I've written all there is to be said about yoga through my experience, etc. Is that possible? Sometimes I feel that way, but in reality, my juices just ran a bit dry. I guess I simply needed time to re-evaluate a few things. Also, with starting our Mysore program in Stockholm it took much of my energy and focus. A labor of love in the larger scope of things. With the program reaching its two year milestone this March everything about it has exceeded my expectations. One, I've learned the most important thing in regards to building a program; at the end of the day, it's about community and connection through the beauty and spirit of the Ashtanga yoga practice. In this regard, I'm thankful to feel so full and moved by it, that it sometimes feels as if I'm busting out at the seams. Let's just say, it's a good feeling to be on purpose. 

My life in Stockholm has had its challenges which comes with simply living a life, and no matter, I am still stunned to live in a city so beautiful and graceful. I guess you can say, I feel thankful to be settled in such a place. 

Now, if I were being more realistic, Stockholm looks more like this at the moment. Although, the bottom pics were taken before the record snow fall came. 

Alas, I'm not in Stockholm at the moment, while I miss all this fabulous winter weather (I'm never sarcastic, never) Instead, I'm in INDIA!!! Mysore, India, of course. For my annual trip to deepen practice, and be in the presence of my teacher, R. Sharath Jois. Including, connecting with the worldwide Ashtanga yoga community. All good reasons to be here. More to come. 

When writing on such things, I always like keep it through the eyes of my own experience. Being the oracle from Mysore giving reports on Sharath's conferences and such is not my thing, honestly. I like to keep it personal and authentic as I see it and feel it. All the other stuff is good reason why YOU, yes you, should come to Mysore. Experience it for yourself. Feel the magic of practice from the source. I haven't yet been uninspired by it. 

Every trip, every practice, a new fire is lit, as I do my best to fan the flames, until my next return.