More Than Half Way

It's hard to believe our trip here to Mysore is already more than half way over. Like I always say, coming here feels like being in a time warp. The days go by at rapid pace and yet a deep sense of feeling at home in the practice sink in, as if I've been here for much longer. It comes at no surprise and yet it always startles me in a way. The monsoon rains have given opportunity for internal reflection and is indicative of my time here. There are periods of darkness within, a pouring out, a purging as one could say, and then the clouds part, the sun shines, drying up all that was washed away. To then see things in a new light, a new perspective. I feel filled up. I also have sense of what new areas that are present for new growth. Ever endless. An exciting opportunity to peel new layers of existence to the surface. It must not go wasted.

Third Week

Mysore, India

Just rounding out our third week in Mysore. The weather has been touch and go with bouts of daily rain and glimpses of sunshine. Most trips have been during the winter months, usually December/January. The last time I was in Mysore during monsoon was in 2007. I like it here during this time of year. It's still warm but not stifling with refreshing breezes. The rains clean the air. The dryer months are lovely too with endless sunshine. Mysore is like an oasis.

Practice has been running rather deep. With it being Friday I can feel it. A good tired. Like everything has been rung out of the body at an intense level. There are lapses in the practice where I feel as if I have no more to give but somehow I make it through anyway. More than a physical challenge it's a mental one. No matter how high the climb all you can do is take it one breath at time.

As the toughness of my practice arises there is an opportunity to dig deeper inside. To be in it, fully. Not wanting to be anywhere else.

Leaning in. Letting go.

To The Light

Finished our second week of the course, starting our third. There has been a gradual build up which has been nice. It reminds me how important it is to simply deepen the areas already visited many times before, exploring each movement with a fresh open mind. Coming to our mats with a beginners mindset everyday brings it alive. It's a way of being present within everything. More postures don't always bring maturity in the practitioner. Doesn't matter how fancy or complicated they are. It can be a feast for the eyes but the true beauty is the intentional mindset of the one who inhabits the posture. An alignment of what this practice points us to. Being here has continued to re-establish the beauty of this tradition and also the brevity of it. There is lightness in it. It brings us to the light. We can't cling to it, we can only dwell in it, because we are it.

The Mysore Program at Yogayama - Stockholm, Sweden

This is our little video on Ashtanga yoga, Mysore style, introducing those new to the practice or for those curious or simply too intimidated to try it out. Yes, it is a short video. It doesn't cover every aspect of the practice but does give one a little taste. I think what is most important to communicate is that any body is welcome. It is for one. It is for all. As a teacher I will never turn anyone away who is willing no matter the limitation that may seem to be presented. At the end of the day it goes far beyond the performance of the body. What is most valuable is the illumination of heart, mind and spirit.

I am extremely grateful for the support of Yogayama every step of the way since the inception of our program. We have been flourishing over the past 3 and a half years and have our sights on continuing to extend that support to our community of practitioners in every way we can.

www.yogayama.se

Holding Space

Outside KPJAYI

"It would be easier to roll up the entire sky into a small cloth than it would be to obtain true happiness without knowing the Self."  

(Upanishads)

I'm in Mysore. In the mist of rounding out my 3rd week today. My 7th trip and as always feels as if I'm coming into something new. I like to be in a space of discovery and exploration within the practice. It takes the edge off. It is important to touch, taste and feel every part of the experience. Even those challenging bits we find ourselves in on occasion. At this point settling in happens with ease but the practice in the shala is always full of surprises. Whether pleasant or unpleasant, witnessing the process of unfolding allows me to sit in a place of neutrality and observation. Understanding what is in and out of my control I can then ride the wave of energy that no matter what courses strong in the room like a steady march.

There have been so many things I have been contemplating lately. The process we all go through from time to time most certainly ebbs and flows in life and recently I have been feeling a flow. So many impressions and mental processes have come to light that sometimes it has been overwhelming. Within all of this I continue to place my heart in the center of it all. With countless hours of practice and study under my belt I am beginning to realize and lean on the simplicity of what it all culminates to. Can I love more openly? Can I live more open heartedly? How often do I rest on my fears and close? Do I extend a hand to the unfamiliar? Am I kind? Because it doesn't matter how many trips I make to Mysore and it doesn't matter how may complicated asanas I can do, if I don't open to the truth it is pointless.

I desire to push myself inside the unknowingness of it all. To look at everything with new eyes. To even come to my mat with a new perspective and curiosity. Because if I place too much importance on structure and the familiar I'm as good as dead, and ultimately building my spiritual home on sand. It isn't easy and sometimes you are stricken for it, but then again, everyone who has done anything of significance came to realize these challenges. Sometimes the path we take isn't accepted by the masses. The truth speaks ever so clearly and the courage to rise up to it can show itself in a myriad of ways. With this realization I can honor various paths and experiences and see the beauty in it all. No matter what differences that stand between, when understanding the truth, all walls tend to crumble.  

Going The Distance

Ranko and I practicing at Ashtanga Yoga Belgrade. Ranko is a true inspiration and I had the pleasure of teaching a weekend intensive with his students. 

“All the while a silent laughter sings, like wind through an open window saying: be deeper still, stand at Zero.” 

(Rumi)

Over the course of the last few months I've had an intense schedule of teaching which in turn means tons of learning every step of the way. As most have experienced when teaching the learning goes hand in hand. I tend to throw myself into the abyss not really sure how I will land. Knowing if it flows from my heart how can I be faulted? In many ways I could give or take the label of teacher because what it feels like from my core is a sharing of experience and a holder of a method of practice I embrace in reverence.

This past year on an internal level was a struggle if I am to be frank. From last winter through the spring I felt the crushing feelings of exhaustion and sadness triggered by various events but also a pouring out of what needed to be burned away. Instead of acting as if it wasn't there I immersed myself in it. I looked at it. I observed the feelings and felt the insurgence of memories I wished never were. Like a flood everything rushed in filling every empty space of my consciousness. Luckily, I had the freedom to feel what it was I needed to feel and to be sad if I needed to feel the sadness. It is never an easy thing for your partner to experience but to have the freedom to simply be without expectation is truly an act of unselfish love.

As the summer approached I slowly started to turn a corner. Through all the ups and downs I continued to work because as the saying goes, life moves on and what we bring forth ultimately heals us. What is the use in holding back? As my energy slowly resurged with a few hiccups here and there then came a sense of softness. Oh how important it is to simply soften. Even though I can feel myself revert I come to understand how within the softening there is a receptivity on a much deeper level as before. There is so much to taste and open to and at the same time I have learned how important it is to keep watch over my energy. I tend to recharge my batteries in a space of silent contemplation, writing, and/or reading. Though it is still a challenge for me to say "no" I have learned how important it is to make time to recharge and be still.

With the approach of the autumn season I had many commitments planned and it all seemed to flow in due order especially in light of honoring the process of unfolding months prior. True in what they say that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. I can attest to that. Also looking back I can see how easy it is to be self identified with pain as well thinking as if we are special in some way because of a certain state of disarray. It never ceases to amaze how the importance of gratitude can pull one out of the dumps and into a clearer perspective. Given the opportunity to give space to the feelings is a luxury in which many don't have.

With the passing of the last several months many have touched me deeply as I've soaked in the wisdom of those who have crossed my path. I take it all to heart, in the workshops I've taught to our Mysore students here in Stockholm. We've built a community that has started to stand united in a very short amount of time. It's an energy wave that is headed into an exciting new direction and I feel blessed to be a part of it. It hasn't always been easy, especially in the infancy stages. It is work you must see through at every turn. Where practical experience, steadiness and passion must stand united for there to be growth, honoring the truth of each person I encounter on the mat.

Where there is quality and attention there is love. 

Mysore. Is it Magic?

Outside KPJAYI

Mysore. Is it Magic? Yes, but not magic in the way you may think. Often I don't realize what is in the process of developing or what has been ignited until I leave. Something is always working just below the surface and can manifest in ways that may surprise, delight or even scare you, because truly it is about the unknown. I always find it interesting when listening to the criticism in regards to practicing at the source. Practicing here has a way of mirroring our own inner turmoil and then people blame the place. Be happy that it does because that is where the awareness can begin to shine it's wisdom upon our blocks and projections. Within that a new freedom can be found. I've had practices where I have felt shattered and broken, and often those are the best lessons that can be learned and experienced. If it wasn't worth it then I don't think I would continually feel the call to go back no matter how arduous the work is. Work that gives, and exposes, internally washing away the chains of conditioning. 

You may ask why go then? Good question. Why? Well, I will tell you. It is like no other place to practice. May sound like a canned answer with no depth and meaning behind it, but really it is as simple as that. At first you don't even realize how deep it begins to work under the watchful eye of R. Sharath Jois, but words can't really begin to illustrate fully, and I'm not sure I am prepared to try. However, in the same light, to describe practicing at KPJAYI as about unicorns and rainbows is a fallacy. Simply put, it is what it is. What arises will be your lesson and your lesson alone. The thing that is most interesting is the intensity of practice has a way of aggravating what we cling to. We then have the opportunity to see what no longer serves us and the definitive change begins only when we decide to lean into those areas through what arises. If we continue to practice and ignore, then we still live in the same delusion. However, that in itself can be a lesson. When traveling somewhere to simply focus on practice is yes, in a sense, a luxury, but one that gives an opportunity to reduce our worldly distractions and responsibilities for a block of time to then tune into our internal landscape facilitated by the energy and focus generated in the room.  Simply put, it feels amazing to be a part of it. 

Another thing to remember is the community that encapsulates all when in Mysore reaches not only far and wide, but deep, colored by a vast array of cultures and backgrounds enriches the experience of being there. Much can be learned not only on and off the mat but also how we interrelate and learn from each other as students and stewards of this amazing process. My recommendation is to soak it up.

There will always be spinmakers and haters who will plant a seed of doubt about it all. Funny how some of the biggest critics who say it isn't for them have never stepped foot inside KPJAYI. 
It is important to remember that it's not about getting or attaining something, it's about realization and recognition. I think that can be the frustrating part for those who feel they need an immediate payback, understanding or experience. All I can say is what develops is priceless. It's so much more than receiving a magical adjustment or given validation. Here you strengthen what cannot be seen with the naked eye. Never once has Sharath or being in the presence of Guruji when he was alive (however one could say he is very much alive there), have I gotten the impression that asana is of most importance. Quickly and clearly one learns just how minimal it is and in the same light how important the ritual becomes and the attentive awareness we open to as we touch a bigger and greater part of ourselves. The magic. 

Jörgen Christiansson

During the first week of June we had the pleasure of hosting Jörgen Christiansson at Yogayama to share his wisdom and insight in regards to the practice of Ashtanga yoga which included a week of Mysore practice, but of course. Jörgen is the only Swedish certified teacher and to have him back in his homeland under these circumstances made it extras special for those native to Sweden and also to those who are not, hahaha. He's a hands on teacher who honors the tradition in a way that runs deep within him. Living in L.A. and teaching at his own center Omkar108 Yoga take the time to visit if ever in the area. For those in Sweden who missed the opportunity to practice with him he'll be back next year in early June. It's time Sweden celebrated this Swedish teacher who has spent the last few decades traveling the world and studying yoga.

Many thanks to you Jörgen! See you next year if not before! 

☮

Practice, Practice, Practice . . .

 Jackfruit 

"The practice of asanas and pranayama is learning to control the body and the senses so the Inner light may come forth. That light is the same for the whole world and it is possible for man to experience this light, his own Self through correct Yoga practice. This is the natural outcome of a good practice and one will gradually learn to control the mind because one eventually will come to experience the very support of it. But the mind is indeed very difficult to control, but everything is made possible with right practice. We must therefore first and foremost practice, practice, practice for any real understanding of Yoga to take place. Then eventually we will be able to break the fixed patterns of the mind and taste the greater underlying support of it all.” 

- Sri K. Pattabhi Jois

 The Shala

 Coconut Time

First week, practicing in the shala, I'm always on a high. With feelings of comfort, exhilaration, mixed in with the energy of everyone in the room, let's just say, after a year of practicing alone, there is no other place I'd rather be. And, let's not forget the heat of tapas being burned. Settling into this breath paced practice, I hop onto the wave, and simply enjoy the ride. Second week, which I'm in the mist of now, reality sets in. The kinks in the body arise. When the high of the first week wears off, the real work begins. It will be a steady climb before I start to coast again. It always works out this way. 

It also takes a while to decompress from the pace of living compared to home. In India, one quickly learns that everything works left of center. Never quite right. Never fully efficient, but somehow things come together anyway. A good lesson in giving up control or else live the alternative of beating your head up against a brick wall. It's never fun and you'll tire of it eventually. 

Six trips, I feel blessed and thankful to have had the opportunity to come and as often as I have. I know it isn't always easy for those out there who are balancing many things to put together the trip. I know this, and it reminds me to never take it for granted. I think for me my first trip to India really put what I deemed important into perspective. Growing up in the U.S., quite frankly, I was forced fed a bunch of bullshit. Force fed good stuff too, but when young it was confusing distinguishing between my own growing intuition and knowing, and the cultural mores that surrounded me. I know this might be controversial for some, and no matter, it has brought me to this point of discovery. Freedom isn't always what we think it to be. Think on that. What does it really mean to be free? 

In the same light, I honor the balance of deepening yoga practice and creating a life out in the world of material. Some can use trips to Mysore as an escape, and quite frankly, I find dipping my toes into both worlds deems useful in honoring what it means to bring yoga into life. How can we know that the practice has done it's work? 

Through the years, with more practice, something more wants to be born. I find this exciting. I feel through yoga practice we uncover gifts, and it's our responsibility to bring it forward or else grow stagnant. In many ways, it's an offering. Our service to the world. Opening up to this there's a sense of release, and at the same time, a comfort in not knowing it all. When I'm here I like to keep my eyes and ears open as I tune into my awareness. Can I learn something new through my encounters? Can I be open and release all notions of knowing something. Because yoga doesn't work through association alone and idle gossip. It never has. 

Pulse

"Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes. If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralyzed. Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as bird wings."  -Rumi

I've been called out. Update your blog, please. Yeah, you know who you are. So, I'm getting my ass in gear. I can't call myself any semblance of a writer if I don't write. Now, I'm not saying I'm good at it. No. It's just a craft I'd like to hone in on in the coming year. With that being said, I have writers all around me, blatantly showing me where I lack. Through thick and thin you must WRITE. It takes discipline, it takes focus, perseverance. Hmmmmm. Something else comes to mind as I speak, or write, about these attributes. Oh yeah, that little thing I do every morning and share with others on a regular basis. 

So, what have I been up to, and why have I been lacking in the blogging department? Yes, I have already racked up a long list of lame excuses. For starters, there has been loads of travel in the past 6 months. Even more reason to write. Lame excuse there. Two, sometimes I feel like I've written all there is to be said about yoga through my experience, etc. Is that possible? Sometimes I feel that way, but in reality, my juices just ran a bit dry. I guess I simply needed time to re-evaluate a few things. Also, with starting our Mysore program in Stockholm it took much of my energy and focus. A labor of love in the larger scope of things. With the program reaching its two year milestone this March everything about it has exceeded my expectations. One, I've learned the most important thing in regards to building a program; at the end of the day, it's about community and connection through the beauty and spirit of the Ashtanga yoga practice. In this regard, I'm thankful to feel so full and moved by it, that it sometimes feels as if I'm busting out at the seams. Let's just say, it's a good feeling to be on purpose. 

My life in Stockholm has had its challenges which comes with simply living a life, and no matter, I am still stunned to live in a city so beautiful and graceful. I guess you can say, I feel thankful to be settled in such a place. 

Now, if I were being more realistic, Stockholm looks more like this at the moment. Although, the bottom pics were taken before the record snow fall came. 

Alas, I'm not in Stockholm at the moment, while I miss all this fabulous winter weather (I'm never sarcastic, never) Instead, I'm in INDIA!!! Mysore, India, of course. For my annual trip to deepen practice, and be in the presence of my teacher, R. Sharath Jois. Including, connecting with the worldwide Ashtanga yoga community. All good reasons to be here. More to come. 

When writing on such things, I always like keep it through the eyes of my own experience. Being the oracle from Mysore giving reports on Sharath's conferences and such is not my thing, honestly. I like to keep it personal and authentic as I see it and feel it. All the other stuff is good reason why YOU, yes you, should come to Mysore. Experience it for yourself. Feel the magic of practice from the source. I haven't yet been uninspired by it. 

Every trip, every practice, a new fire is lit, as I do my best to fan the flames, until my next return.  

Instruction from Sharath

January 2012

I was given this photo which was extracted from the film documentary, Mysore Magic, in the bonus section of the DvD. Thanks to Lu, for passing it along! This is me with my teacher R. Sharath Jois. 

One ÅR Mysore

“To be surprised, to wonder, is to begin to understand.”  - Jose Gasset 

Hahaha. I'm so late in posting this picture! We actually celebrated our one year anniversary of our Mysore program back in mid-March. I just can't believe how quickly time has flown, and also how much our students have grown! It's been an AWESOME year. 

Spring Arrival

“If nature is your teacher, your soul will awaken.” - Goethe

Spring has been struggling in Stockholm. We had a few great days in March, a tickle, then BAM, it felt like winter again. Going through one of the coldest Aprils I have ever experienced, while closing out the month with a few warm Spring days, has made it well worth the wait. Lesson learned, don't take days like this for granted. 


What's been eating up most of my energy lately is jump establishing the Mysore program I started just over a year ago. In the beginning, it takes a fair amount of energy. More than I think most realize. At the same time it's been a labor of love. The growth I've witness in the students in the past year has gone beyond what I could have imagined. In many ways, it reaffirms the wonders of the practice. Again and again, I'm amazed how transformative it is when people dedicate themselves to showing up regularly. I mean, I have felt it in my own life, but to see it up close and personal in our students has been a rewarding experience. 

This go around it's been especially sweet with it being the fourth Mysore program I have taught over the course of 8 years. I've settled into steady place within myself, and in turn, feel better equipped to give and receive. I guess that is what comes over time with sustained practice. The learning always comes first, and well, the teaching stems from that. 

Even though I've taken to a very Swedish trait of complaining about the weather, haha, at the end of the day, I have multitudes to be thankful for. Synergy. That's what I've been feeling. A culmination of things coming together, right at the perfect time. 

Stockholm

What is Mysore About?

Great information on Ashtanga Yoga and the Mysore style of practicing! Have a look. 

Stats

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Sweden

"A quiet mind is all you need. All else will happen rightly, once your mind is quiet. As the sun on rising makes the world active, so does self-awareness affect changes in the mind. In the light of calm and steady self-awareness inner energies wake up and work miracles without effort on your part." - Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj


Recently, finally, I checked my blog stats and was shocked to learn that my post regarding the Blue Lagoon is the top post of ALL time. Not only that, but it's the most visited post for every single week thus far. So much for my brilliant blogs about yoga! Hahaha, only kidding. Blue Lagoon you ask? Well, it's this magical place in the fascinating country of Iceland. I had the pleasure of teaching yoga there over a year ago and visiting the Blue Lagoon was part of my experience. It seems just mentioning the place peaks the interest of many out in cyber space. It's like, wow! I had no idea it would be such a draw. No less, the main reason for most of the traffic to this site. Sigh. This is really motivating me to get cracking, posting more regularly. This can't continue to be my most popular blog post ever! No. Although, my life isn't too exciting at the moment. Which, to tell you the truth, I'm happy with. I'm loving my routine.

We're already over 6 months in since starting our Mysore program. It's been great, and mostly the reason why I've been absent. I'm working with a tight schedule, especially after teaching for nearly four hours and doing my own practice before hand it's already nearly a full day. When putting in and then giving out, I've had to re-establish a balance for myself.

In the beginning it takes a substantial amount of energy and now things are beginning to take shape in a way that's really astounding. All it takes is commitment. Students want to know you'll be there. A relationship is born. A beautiful give and take and growth begins to take shape. There is no better formula then consistency. When working in this way it still blows me away how amazing this practice is. It works, truly, with the right amount of attention and care. Building slowly. Breath centered.

It's important for me to keep an open dialogue with students as they develop through their practices. I'm the type of teacher who enjoys listening to feedback when practitioners start to gain insights and attune to their bodies and minds. In that, I trust the practice in a way that I don't have to say too much because I know in time it will be there for them. Keeping them on track within the practice has a way of already removing the barriers. I am fascinated by it. I know other forms of yoga rely on an abundance of dialogue which can be beneficial from time to time. However, more often then none, I feel there really isn't anything new, so to speak. The yogis of old knew what needed to be uncovered through experience and the practical methods to take us there. Sometimes I feel we have complicated what is unnecessary to complicate. It's all so clear, is it not? Reveling in the mystery. I realize this being a recent phenomenon, in that yoga has become a billion dollar business globally. This motivates me to continue to peel back the layers and remove the exterior packaging and get down to the root. Namasté.

Let's Go!

"The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers. "      

- Erich Fromm

Above are pics in and around the neighborhood Yogayama resides in, the host of my morning Mysore program. It's been going great thus far. Thank you to all who have joined us from day one, and to those who have yet to come and are planning to! We're waiting! 

Our vision: to build a thriving Ashtanga yoga community.  Let's go!  

Daybreak

"It is well to be up before daybreak, for such habits contribute to health, wealth, and wisdom."    - Aristotle

Whew. The past month has been busy! I am just about feeling like I am settling into my new routine. This week I'm rounding out the fourth week of our brand new Mysore program at Yogayama! I feel blessed to be part of such an amazing place, right in the bustling Östermalm area of Stockholm.

Since arriving back from India in the beginning of February, looking back on it, I'm amazed how everything came together in such a short time. It's a testament to when the time is ripe, well, it is ripe. I had plans to start something, not knowing exactly where, and to make a long story short, the opportunity to set up shop at Yogayama simply flowed.

To the students who have jumped in with both feet, arriving in the mornings from day one, it's been a sincere pleasure. With continued focus to create a space for sustained practice I can't begin to explain what rewarding hard work it is. Teaching the Mysore method is the most enriching way for Ashtanga yoga to be transmuted. Often misrepresented, I am repeatedly reiterating, it isn't only for advanced practitioners. It is for any-BODY who feels the desire to learn this method. Young, old, athlete, non-athlete, thin, round, short, tall, sick, healthy - please come as you are. This is where the yoga journey begins.

My day starts at 3:00 am when the alarm goes off, then I prepare to practice. After practice, shower, get ready, catch the train and head to Yogayama to teach from 6:30 - 10:00. It's odd by the time 10:00 am rolls around I've already had a pretty full day compared to most. It's just a different rhythm. What I've found is if I'm not in bed by 8:00 pm then it can be pretty tough going for me to get through the rest of my day. I need my sleep! Ahhhhh. It is so important. I've never been one of those people who can get by on little. I mean, I've had my spurts where I can manage without much, but it doesn't last long.

With the new Mysore program just beginning to settle there will be new projects on the horizon, as well as more blog posts!  I haven't been around much, but I promise you, I am still around and kicking and will be writing more!

Mysore Program

I am excited to announce I'll be starting a Mysore program at Yogayama, right in the heart of Stockholm! It feels good to be partnered with one of the loveliest studios in the city. A charming space with one of the best vegetarian restaurants around. Who could ask for more?

The schedule is as follows:

Monday - Friday      Mysore                        6:30 - 10:00
Sunday                     Led Primary Series    8:30 - 10:00
Sunday                     Conference                 11:00


Conferences, an added element to the program, will be held on an ongoing basis. All about the 1% theory!

Also there will be one more informational meeting held at Yogayama on Sunday, March 13th at 11:00.

See you there! 

65 Year Old Ashtanga Yogini

Talk about bringing in a bit of joy when practicing . . .

Hiatus

"He is the inner self of all, Hidden like a little flame in the heart. Only by the stilled mind can He be known. Those who realized him become immortal."  (The Upanishads)

Last week was a busy one. Hence, my blog writing took hiatus. I don't like to be away for long. When my schedule changes I have a tendency to loose my grounding for a bit. Thankfully, I've found my groove again. It's been a good kind of busy, so no complaints.

The previous weekend kicked off four days of Mysore class with Kino Macgregor and Tim Feldman. They make a wonderful team. I had the pleasure of meeting Kino in India last year, however had never taken class from her, and this was the first time I met her husband, Tim. It's easy to tell they both carry a sincere devotion to the practice and to the students they come into contact with through their travels. Right away, they're totally committed to everyone in the room. It's lovely. Kino guided me into Ganda Bherundāsana doing the full bind, feet to the floor, fingers interlaced, resting my chin on top of my hands. She wouldn't settle for anything less. I was thankful for the push. It was just what I needed. A four day kick start delving deeper into Advanced A.

B.K.S. Iyengar in the final stage of Ganda Bherundāsana

Last week, I taught a 5-day Ashtanga yoga intensive at Yogayama  with a group of ALL women.  I took the opportunity to guide practitioners more consciously through the practice, beginning with internal alignment. It also gave a proper kick start for those just coming off of their long summer vacations. We had fun.

I guess every teacher goes through trials of trepidation no matter what the field of expertise. I have my experience with this from time to time. I often feel this before teaching. Wondering beforehand will I have enough to give? Will I simply do a good job? Then, I remind myself no matter what, the practice in itself will do the work required. I'm only a guide in the process. And, for me there is always an element of being firmly committed to assisting a student where they are in the moment. First, coming from a place of acceptance, then opening to their unbounded potential, offering next steps, and continuing to challenge. Going through this with students is highly fulfilling. I had one practitioner share with me how through the practice she was coming into a place of greater self-acceptance and self-love. At the end of the day feeling a layer such as this is what it's all about beyond asana. I love hearing about the discovery, and the insights that are felt when entering into what we experience as yoga. This is why I do what I do.


On top of practicing, and teaching, it always cycles back to the Swedish. I've had to place a fair amount of commitment in this area. I'm learning, not only the language (obviously), but the beautiful diversity from the individuals in my class. It's been a great experience. Gosh, some days I feel as if I'm getting a good handle on the language, and then other days it feels totally hopeless. My classmates who come from various countries, besides the U.S., are often trilingual. A few, even know four and five languages. It's amazing.

I've felt every type of emotion sitting in my Swedish class. One often being frustration. Will I ever get it? Then, I have to remind myself to be patient. Step by step. Learning Swedish grammar really kicks my ass, and takes me back to English grammar. It's been a long time since I've deconstructed a sentence. Seriously, I've had to dust quite a few cobwebs out of my brain. Whew! It's hard work.

photo via