Raw and Ready

“There are two things we should always be 1. raw and 2. ready. When you are raw, you are always ready and when you are ready you usually realize that you are raw. Waiting for perfection is not an answer, one cannot say “I will be ready when I am perfect” because then you will never be ready, rather one must say “I am raw and I am ready just like this right now, how and who I am.”

(C. JoyBell C.)


Back in Mysore and so grateful to be here. Even with it being my 9th trip I am always filled with enthusiasm to have the opportunity to practice with my teacher. So much appreciation and love arises within me to stand before him and all that this practice and path represents. To also share it with others who understand and are inspired to live more deeply, more consciously, even in the mist of making our own mistakes and follies along the way. It's a part of living. What is important is that we try and put effort forth in the process. 

The first week always feels a bit magical. So maybe I am riding high on that feeling. Every trip has it's own energetic makeup. Some trips have been harder than others and no matter what arises it is always worth it. Growth is always happening. Sometimes there are cycles within cycles. We come full circle to start over again from another vantage point. I always like to have a sense of curiosity even in the repetition in the Ashtanga practice. Bringing new eyes to what I have done before. Everyday is different and no matter how much we try to control it, life is in a constant flow of change. 

This go around I traveled to Mysore from Goa so I didn't have that initial tiredness from travel when I landed. Coming from Goa was rather seamless. I already had my accommodations sorted and priority number one when I arrived was to register at KPJAYI. Still riding high on the incredible experience at Purple Valley I've been in a positive space and have the added gratification to have a month of simply being a student. In reality I am always a student no matter what role that I play but to have time set aside to only be a student and nothing else is rather priceless. 

When I leave Mysore I definitely look forward to being home but the funny thing is it doesn't take much time for the pull of India and the desire to practice at the source takes hold, as I count the days of my return. 

Sādanā: In the Heart of it All

"What is to give light must first endure burning"  

(Victor Frankel)

Sādhanā is often referred to as spiritual practice. However, much more is intertwined in the term and has been one of the main themes of the course here in Mysore this summer. In another light, sādhanā is our own masterpiece we create to connect to the Divine. This in turn takes consistent effort and determination and by no means comes easy and at the same time is a worthwhile endeavor that gives more everlasting happiness and fulfillment than we could ever imagine, but first, there is a climb. Each step reaching us closer to the goal while playing with the paradox of detachment.

Sādhanā is also viewed as an ego transcending practice. The goal being liberation and freedom from bondage (samāra). The steps take daily effort where in my case includes regular asana practice, pranayama, and self study and also evening japa, prayer and/or chanting. Tapas (the effort to achieve self-realization) comes in those days where the warmth and comfort of the bed tells us better to stay put but instead we throw the covers off and take the necessary steps toward the mat. Tapas can also be viewed as discipline, an important ingredient in cultivating one's sādhanā.

The practitioner is referred to as a sādhaka, an aspirant. One who skillfully applies the learned rituals and practices, uniting body, mind and soul toward the spiritual goal. A sādhaka is dutifully committed and enthusiastic, though that can wax and wane in the beginning, and doubt part of the path for some, overtime the wavering ceases as the sādhanā strengthens and becomes a way of life. The important part being the intention behind it, something R. Sharath Jois has stressed time and time again this summer. Simply bending the body and/or going through the motions of ritual with no internal reflection often bring fruitless results. Another word for this heart/mind intention is bhāvanā. Bhāvanā can be thought in terms of planting seeds. Our sādhāna makes for fertile ground but what seeds will we plant?

"The practice of yoga, as a whole, is a profound science of internal purification which leads practitioners very gradually to the realization of the non-difference between the jīvātma, or indwelling Self of the individual, and the paramātma, or Universal Self. For this to occur, a proper intention and direction of energies needs to be established from the outset of a practice; in Sanskrit, this is known as 'bhāvana.'"     

(Sri K. Pattabhi Jois, Sūryanamaskāra)

The thirst needs to be there. Yes, there may be days we feel apathetic; however, the beauty of our sādhāna is what it is pointing us to. This keeps it alive. It must stay alive within us. We must fan the flames. Each day carving out our masterpiece of transformation. The beauty being, no amount of effort is wasted. Each step, leading toward illumination.

Third Week

Mysore, India

Just rounding out our third week in Mysore. The weather has been touch and go with bouts of daily rain and glimpses of sunshine. Most trips have been during the winter months, usually December/January. The last time I was in Mysore during monsoon was in 2007. I like it here during this time of year. It's still warm but not stifling with refreshing breezes. The rains clean the air. The dryer months are lovely too with endless sunshine. Mysore is like an oasis.

Practice has been running rather deep. With it being Friday I can feel it. A good tired. Like everything has been rung out of the body at an intense level. There are lapses in the practice where I feel as if I have no more to give but somehow I make it through anyway. More than a physical challenge it's a mental one. No matter how high the climb all you can do is take it one breath at time.

As the toughness of my practice arises there is an opportunity to dig deeper inside. To be in it, fully. Not wanting to be anywhere else.

Leaning in. Letting go.

To The Light

Finished our second week of the course, starting our third. There has been a gradual build up which has been nice. It reminds me how important it is to simply deepen the areas already visited many times before, exploring each movement with a fresh open mind. Coming to our mats with a beginners mindset everyday brings it alive. It's a way of being present within everything. More postures don't always bring maturity in the practitioner. Doesn't matter how fancy or complicated they are. It can be a feast for the eyes but the true beauty is the intentional mindset of the one who inhabits the posture. An alignment of what this practice points us to. Being here has continued to re-establish the beauty of this tradition and also the brevity of it. There is lightness in it. It brings us to the light. We can't cling to it, we can only dwell in it, because we are it.

Back in Mysore

KPJAYI - Mysore, India

I'm back in Mysore participating in a special course for selected authorized and certified practitioners/teachers of KPJAYI, directed by R. Sharath Jois. No, I won't be writing notes on the course here. Sorry to disappoint. I've actually never shared conference notes on my blog because I have always felt that no matter how well I may understand what is being spoken about it will still filter through my own lens, my own experience. And yes, may or may not always be accurate. I truly feel the path of yoga is one that is very personal in nature. One reason why I encourage many students of the practice to come to KPJAYI at some point to experience the community and the current holder of the tradition. Now that doesn't mean I never share my own insights on the practice because obviously I teach, but this usually happens with one on one contact over time, which again is born from my own experience. I think what garners maturity is the ability to tune in to each individual student through the practice. This naturally happens over time but can also come at anytime when steadfast at being open and receptive. Through that, my blog has always continued to be more personal in nature. I share things that inspire and I also write about my own experience within life and practice. Although, I haven't done so much of the latter lately. I'll explain more on why later.

Today we finished our first week and it was such a pleasure. A week of led Primary series to get into the groove and to land on our feet after for some grueling travel, and to simply feel settled. At the beginning of the week I was rather sore. Breathing and moving through Primary series is always different when done on your own no matter how you slice it. Sharath's led classes are extremely stamina building and at the same time I felt really good as the week winded down. It's true what they say, "Primary is like healing balm."

I did come to Mysore with a few tweaks that is for sure. I've had a funky right shoulder for over a year now. Also a tricky lower back depending on the day, and yeah, this temperamental right hip. No, I'm not completely broken, haha. It's just interesting how sensitive we become through the practice of yoga. Evermore receptive to the stuck energies of the body and learning how to navigate around that with more awareness and attunement. Much of it stems from adjusting students on a consistent basis. Teaching Mysore style is highly physical and demanding on the body at times, but by this point as teachers we are prepared for it in a sense from all the accumulated years of practice as well. However, no matter how you look at it it does have an effect over time. I think many teachers would attest to the fact that it is all worth it. The gift of teaching far out weighs the demands on the body.

As I prepare for my first rest day since arriving to Mysore I feel eternally blessed and grateful to this practice and to my teacher R. Sharath Jois for all of his selfless devotion and of course to Guruji. To have this time to focus primarily on practice and study is a gift and one I never want to take for granted.

Mysore. Is it Magic?

Outside KPJAYI

Mysore. Is it Magic? Yes, but not magic in the way you may think. Often I don't realize what is in the process of developing or what has been ignited until I leave. Something is always working just below the surface and can manifest in ways that may surprise, delight or even scare you, because truly it is about the unknown. I always find it interesting when listening to the criticism in regards to practicing at the source. Practicing here has a way of mirroring our own inner turmoil and then people blame the place. Be happy that it does because that is where the awareness can begin to shine it's wisdom upon our blocks and projections. Within that a new freedom can be found. I've had practices where I have felt shattered and broken, and often those are the best lessons that can be learned and experienced. If it wasn't worth it then I don't think I would continually feel the call to go back no matter how arduous the work is. Work that gives, and exposes, internally washing away the chains of conditioning. 

You may ask why go then? Good question. Why? Well, I will tell you. It is like no other place to practice. May sound like a canned answer with no depth and meaning behind it, but really it is as simple as that. At first you don't even realize how deep it begins to work under the watchful eye of R. Sharath Jois, but words can't really begin to illustrate fully, and I'm not sure I am prepared to try. However, in the same light, to describe practicing at KPJAYI as about unicorns and rainbows is a fallacy. Simply put, it is what it is. What arises will be your lesson and your lesson alone. The thing that is most interesting is the intensity of practice has a way of aggravating what we cling to. We then have the opportunity to see what no longer serves us and the definitive change begins only when we decide to lean into those areas through what arises. If we continue to practice and ignore, then we still live in the same delusion. However, that in itself can be a lesson. When traveling somewhere to simply focus on practice is yes, in a sense, a luxury, but one that gives an opportunity to reduce our worldly distractions and responsibilities for a block of time to then tune into our internal landscape facilitated by the energy and focus generated in the room.  Simply put, it feels amazing to be a part of it. 

Another thing to remember is the community that encapsulates all when in Mysore reaches not only far and wide, but deep, colored by a vast array of cultures and backgrounds enriches the experience of being there. Much can be learned not only on and off the mat but also how we interrelate and learn from each other as students and stewards of this amazing process. My recommendation is to soak it up.

There will always be spinmakers and haters who will plant a seed of doubt about it all. Funny how some of the biggest critics who say it isn't for them have never stepped foot inside KPJAYI. 
It is important to remember that it's not about getting or attaining something, it's about realization and recognition. I think that can be the frustrating part for those who feel they need an immediate payback, understanding or experience. All I can say is what develops is priceless. It's so much more than receiving a magical adjustment or given validation. Here you strengthen what cannot be seen with the naked eye. Never once has Sharath or being in the presence of Guruji when he was alive (however one could say he is very much alive there), have I gotten the impression that asana is of most importance. Quickly and clearly one learns just how minimal it is and in the same light how important the ritual becomes and the attentive awareness we open to as we touch a bigger and greater part of ourselves. The magic. 

Practice, Practice, Practice . . .

 Jackfruit 

"The practice of asanas and pranayama is learning to control the body and the senses so the Inner light may come forth. That light is the same for the whole world and it is possible for man to experience this light, his own Self through correct Yoga practice. This is the natural outcome of a good practice and one will gradually learn to control the mind because one eventually will come to experience the very support of it. But the mind is indeed very difficult to control, but everything is made possible with right practice. We must therefore first and foremost practice, practice, practice for any real understanding of Yoga to take place. Then eventually we will be able to break the fixed patterns of the mind and taste the greater underlying support of it all.” 

- Sri K. Pattabhi Jois

 The Shala

 Coconut Time

First week, practicing in the shala, I'm always on a high. With feelings of comfort, exhilaration, mixed in with the energy of everyone in the room, let's just say, after a year of practicing alone, there is no other place I'd rather be. And, let's not forget the heat of tapas being burned. Settling into this breath paced practice, I hop onto the wave, and simply enjoy the ride. Second week, which I'm in the mist of now, reality sets in. The kinks in the body arise. When the high of the first week wears off, the real work begins. It will be a steady climb before I start to coast again. It always works out this way. 

It also takes a while to decompress from the pace of living compared to home. In India, one quickly learns that everything works left of center. Never quite right. Never fully efficient, but somehow things come together anyway. A good lesson in giving up control or else live the alternative of beating your head up against a brick wall. It's never fun and you'll tire of it eventually. 

Six trips, I feel blessed and thankful to have had the opportunity to come and as often as I have. I know it isn't always easy for those out there who are balancing many things to put together the trip. I know this, and it reminds me to never take it for granted. I think for me my first trip to India really put what I deemed important into perspective. Growing up in the U.S., quite frankly, I was forced fed a bunch of bullshit. Force fed good stuff too, but when young it was confusing distinguishing between my own growing intuition and knowing, and the cultural mores that surrounded me. I know this might be controversial for some, and no matter, it has brought me to this point of discovery. Freedom isn't always what we think it to be. Think on that. What does it really mean to be free? 

In the same light, I honor the balance of deepening yoga practice and creating a life out in the world of material. Some can use trips to Mysore as an escape, and quite frankly, I find dipping my toes into both worlds deems useful in honoring what it means to bring yoga into life. How can we know that the practice has done it's work? 

Through the years, with more practice, something more wants to be born. I find this exciting. I feel through yoga practice we uncover gifts, and it's our responsibility to bring it forward or else grow stagnant. In many ways, it's an offering. Our service to the world. Opening up to this there's a sense of release, and at the same time, a comfort in not knowing it all. When I'm here I like to keep my eyes and ears open as I tune into my awareness. Can I learn something new through my encounters? Can I be open and release all notions of knowing something. Because yoga doesn't work through association alone and idle gossip. It never has. 

Instruction from Sharath

January 2012

I was given this photo which was extracted from the film documentary, Mysore Magic, in the bonus section of the DvD. Thanks to Lu, for passing it along! This is me with my teacher R. Sharath Jois. 

Do Yoga and Rock On

 Joanie, David and Me

"If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?"  — Rumi

While practicing at KPJAYI in Mysore, India, during conference, Sharath talked about the importance of bringing a sense of joy to our practice. He pretty much explained if there isn't joy, then what's the point. Yeah, sure, there are days where it feels like it is the last thing I want to do. Sometimes my body hurts, other days I'm just plain tired. With all of that, stepping into the heart of what yoga is doesn't make joy a hard thing to find. Often what we are up against is our own tendencies that quite frankly need to fall away. I am beginning to realize that I only need to let the yoga do the work. All I need is to place my two feet on my mat and start breathing. The sequencing is there, no guess work required. I can deliberately dismantle my limits one vinyasa at a time, and it's beautiful. Rub. Rub.

Even though I've complained about being back in Stockholm, practicing with sub-zero temperatures outside, I really do believe if I can practice here, in the dark and in the cold, using tapas as my fuel, I can do it anywhere. Why should it be easy? Much of our obstacles are in the mind anyhow. If I think it's gonna be hard, then it will be. A little bit of momentum going in the right direction gives a world of benefit.  Rub. Rub.

Ha! And why can't our practices be fun? What a concept! Doing, for the pure sake of doing, is what it's really about. When relaxing into this mind state, it's amazing what can develop. We enter into a place of discovery that amounts to endless possibility.

Rub, Rub, and rock on.

bloopers