How Big Is The Universe?

It's stuff like this that puts into perspective just how small we really are. But then, if the universe is within us we are pretty darn big too!

Truth

“In my experience, everyone will say they want to discover the Truth, right up until they realize that the Truth will rob them of their deepest held ideas, beliefs, hopes, and dreams. The freedom of enlightenment means much more than the experience of love and peace. It means discovering a Truth that will turn your view of self and life upside-down. For one who is truly ready, this will be unimaginably liberating. But for one who is still clinging in any way, this will be extremely challenging indeed. How does one know if they are ready? One is ready when they are willing to be absolutely consumed, when they are willing to be fuel for a fire without end.” 

(Adyashanti)

Ashtanga Yoga Demonstration by Mark Robberds

Here's an inspiring demonstration video by Certified Ashtanga yoga teacher, Mark Robberds from Australia. He'll be making his way to Stockholm for the first time this October to lead a four day Ashtanga yoga workshop. More details to come soon! Until then, enjoy the video. 

Split The Sack

Why does the soul not fly

when it hears the call?

Why does a fish, gasping on land,

but near the water,

not move back into the sea?

What keeps us from joining the dance

the dust particles do?

Look at their subtle motions

in sunlight.

We are out of our cages

with our wings spread,

yet we do not lift off.

We keep collecting rocks and broken bits

of pottery like children

pretending they are merchants.

We should split the sack

of this culture

and stick our heads out.

Look around.

Leave your childhood.

Reach your right hand up

and take this book from the air.

You do know right from left, don't you?

A voice speaks to your clarity.

Move into the moment of your death.

Consider what you truly want.

Now call out commands yourself.

You are the king. Phrase your question,

and expect the grace of an answer.

(Rumi)

Thank you, Anna! xo

This Living Teaching

Nonduality is not ‘anti-duality’ – how dualistic that would be. It does not reject or deny the astonishing diversity of creation – it embraces totally those myriad appearances, just as the ocean does not reject its waves (how could it?) but loves them to death so they are no longer waves, so that in their infinite, beautiful, intimate, intricate manifestations, they are none other than itself. 

And so this awakening we speak of is not detached from the world, it is not some arrogant life-denying philosophy, no, it is fully engaged with the world, even if ultimately that ‘world’ is dream and appearance. But who cares, right? For, grounded in the deep knowing of who you really are, then, my friends, then you are free, finally free, to plunge fearlessly into this awake dream, this mysterious, transparent world, free-falling head-first into the dreamy realities of this life, this precious gift of a life – into rich, intimate relationships, into work, art, family, friendship, love, adventure, sacrifice, exploration, into the mysteries of the body, and the mysteries of death itself – until there is no longer any division between ‘real’ and ‘unreal’, ‘world’ and ‘absence of world’, ‘person’ and ‘absence of person’, ‘duality’ and ‘nonduality’, even ‘life’ and ‘death’. Until there is only One, and Advaita is a living, breathing, thing, not an abstract philosophy or clever, comforting word-game for the already-comfortable. 

I know no other Advaita but an Advaita inseparable from the living of daily life, from the chopping of wood and the carrying of water. I know no other Advaita but the Advaita that holds my dear father’s trembling hand as he tries to cross an icy patch of road. It is contact. It is being here. It is open. Connected, always connected, forever connected. And ready. The nondual dogmatists retort “who is open? who is ready? whose father? what road? who cares?”, and miss the whole point.

(Jeff Foster) 

Book Recommendation: The Deepest Acceptance

I've been quoting Jeff Foster a lot lately and just wanted to share one of his books as well as his website that has many thought provoking and heart deepening quotes and writings. Check it out if you feel so inclined or inspired. He really brings it down to the basics. Down to what is essential. It doesn't have to come in heavy, over the top language that is hard access. This is simple stuff. Not always easy but nevertheless, simple.

The Deepest Acceptance website

Jeff Foster website


Sitting in Discomfort

The deepest part of realization comes not from trying to become realized – for who would want that, or do it? – but from just sitting with discomfort, sitting with everything you’ve been trying to escape, without expectation, without a goal in mind. 

For years, I would just sit for hours with grief, frustration, anger, fear, just resting in that bubbling, burning, melting pot mess of life, without trying to escape, without hope, until peace was discovered even in the midst of the storm – the peace that I am. 

So, instead of trying to escape discomfort, we let discomfort reveal its secrets. We sit with discomfort, and watch all boundaries between ‘me’ and ‘discomfort’ melt away, until it is no longer ‘me sitting with my discomfort’, and never was. We sit with frustration in the place where it has not yet coagulated into “I am frustrated”. We sit with fear prior to the resurrection of the image “I am a person who is afraid”. 

Yes, yes, don’t “rest in pure awareness”, my friend, rest in the mess of life! Rest in the shit! That’s true rest. Otherwise, the shit is always waiting there in the background, ready to pounce after the satsang love-fest is over, staining your so-called pure awareness. Awareness cannot really be stained, for it is the purity that loves impurity, and so it fearlessly welcomes all. 

You are vast enough to hold all of life, including the mess, for you are life, and this is true meditation. 

(Jeff Foster)

Be Passionately Alive

They used to say, “follow your dreams”, “fulfill your destiny”, “achieve your life’s purpose”, “listen to your heart’s true desire”, “follow your passion”, and I never knew what the hell they meant. 

So I compromised and settled for less than what was possible and worked in jobs where I felt half-alive and so, so far from the wonder of existence. Life and creativity and adventure and passion wanted to burst out of me, but I had no idea how to facilitate or release them, and besides, I was too terrified to unleash these energies lest they disrupt the status quo too much… or destroyed me completely. 

I said to myself, “a life of adventure is not possible for little old me. I’m too introverted, too afraid, too weak, too ugly, not intelligent enough, not brave enough…” 

I comforted myself with spiritual concepts like ‘there is no choice’, ‘all is One’, and ‘everything is predestined’ and lived each day waiting for the evenings, the ‘remains of the day’, when I could breathe again and be authentically myself for a few brief moments. 

What was my destiny? What did my heart really want? What was my life’s purpose? Where was my passion? I didn’t know where to begin. Everyone else seemed to have answers, and I had none. What was wrong with me? 

I felt numb and bored in my jobs, but at least I felt safe. I was hiding from possibility but at least money was coming in. I ‘fit in’, and I had a solid story about myself that I could regurgitate in polite conversation. But there was no risk in it. I was half dead, and only in my twenties. I often thought of suicide. At least then I’d feel alive, if only for a few moments. 

What to do with this one precious, fleeting gift of life? That is the question. To be, or not to be, or to be but only half-heatedly, living out of the ‘shoulds’ of others?And the answer is simple, because life is short. Do whatever makes you feel passionately alive. Find a way – however much you have to struggle at first – of making a living from truly living. Honor your unique talents and abilities. Do what moves you and connects you to the deepest truth of yourself. Trust prosperity and passion over profit and comfort and the approval of others, because all the approval in the world is empty if it is for something your heart was never really in. 

Breaking out of the known can be terrifying, and you may lose what you thought was yours, and your trusted images of yourself may melt in the fire of newness, and you may face fear and trembling, uncertainty and doubt, rejection and even ridicule. You may have to learn the hard way to open yourself up to more pain and life may become more uncomfortable than ever… that is, until you fall in love with the deep comfort of insecurity, and the security of doing what makes life worth living. 

You will be swimming in the unknown, but you will be vast and alive. You will feel life running through your veins once again – as it did when you were young and you hadn’t yet settled for a life of compromise and clock watching and justifications for your quiet desperation – and you will channel this aliveness back into creation, and the cycle of prosperity will keep flowing, and yes, you may even make a good living, better than expected. 

But however much money you make, or don’t make, you will be making a unique contribution to the world, doing something that nobody else can do, at least not in the same way as you, creating something original and fresh, giving something back to life, honoring your total uniqueness and your own talents, and so you won’t feel second hand, a slave to others, a piece of wood, and a deep trust of life may replace your fears of failure and poverty, and your cynicism and jealousy of others may die completely. 

Sometimes you will doubt what you are doing, and you may romanticize the old days when things were easier and more predictable, but then you will suddenly remember that the old way was false and never worked for you and that’s why everything had to change. 

Yes, it’s a risk to donate your life to what you love and what moves you and brings you joy, but I can only speak from experience and say that it’s absolutely worth it, because having a comfortable and predictable life pales in comparison to feeling deeply, passionately alive and meeting each new day with fresh eyes and an open heart. 

If, many years ago, someone had told me that one day I’d be traveling the world, holding meetings and retreats, speaking my intimate truth in front of people I’d never met before, having published several books which had been translated into several languages, I would have laughed out loud – perhaps in disbelief, or perhaps out of the fear of the overwhelming vastness of life’s possibilities. 

Honor this life that is trying to express itself in and as and through you. You are not nearly as limited as you may have been led to believe by those who have not yet come alive. 

(Jeff Foster)

A Dialogue With Petri Raisanen

I really enjoyed this dialogue with Finnish, Ashtanga yoga senior teacher, Petri Raisanen. Since I live in Scandinavia I've had the pleasure of meeting and practicing with him on a number of occasions when he teaches in Stockholm twice a year. The talk goes into many various avenues such as traditional Finnish folk healing to of course the practice of Ashtanga yoga. This is a lengthy video but one worth watching when you can carve out the time. 

Dear Human

"Dear Human,
You’ve got it all wrong.  You didn’t come here to master unconditional love.  That is where you came from and that is where you’ll return.  You came here to learn personal love.  Universal love.  Messy love.   Sweaty love.  Crazy love.  Broken love.  Whole love.  Infused with divinity.  Lived through the grace of stumbling. Demonstrated through the beauty of messing up.  Often.  You didn’t come here to be perfect.  You already are.  You came here to be gorgeously human.  Flawed and fabulous.  And then to rise again into remembering.  But unconditional love?  Stop telling that story.  Love, in truth, doesn’t need ANY other adjectives.  It doesn’t require modifiers.  It doesn’t require the condition of perfection.  It only asks that you show up.  And do your best.  That you stay present and feel fully.  That you shine and fly and laugh and cry and hurt and heal and fall and get back up and play and work and live and die as YOU.  It’s enough.  It’s plenty.” 

(Courtney A. Walsh)

Thank you, Joanie! xo 

Mahasamādhi

M a h a s a m a d h i

Happy Vernal Equinox

Hello Spring!? With today marking the vernal equinox spring has a funny way of showing itself in Stockholm. Luckily, by the time I wrote this blog post my pictures weren't so accurate anymore. The snow has thus melted, but it did come down with a vengeance Wednesday evening leaving a beautiful scene in the city. It's easy to scoff at it when ready for warmer temperatures but the better of me had to admit there was something charming about it. At any rate, it didn't last long. March is the month where the two seasons battle it out. Hopefully winter will weaken its hold. We'll see. One may never know with how wacky the weather has been lately. 

Wishing all of you best wishes as spring valiantly makes it's debut! Happy Vernal Equinox! 

Workshop Journal: Athens, Greece

Last weekend I traveled to Athens, Greece for the second time conducting an Ashtanga yoga workshop. I loved the Greek people and the country before and this second time it only reaffirmed my experience and love for this amazing place. Of course the land is beautiful, but even more so are it's people. Warm, open, fun-loving, it really brought into perspective how important it is to look to the brighter side of life. A reminder we can all use from time to time.

The weekend went entirely too fast. As the saying goes, time flies when you are having fun and on so many levels I did. Honestly however, sharing this practice no matter where I go is a blessing. Leaving Athens I felt as if my heart was bursting by the kindness, generosity and enthusiasm of the people there. It goes without saying, the practice has a way of connecting us together in way that goes deeper because we are actively discovering our higher nature. One that we all share.

Thank you House of Yoga!

A BIG thank you to Saavas and Sofia at House of Yoga!

You Are Not Broken

Friend, from the very beginning, you were not broken. 

You were not born into sin. You were not destined for the spiritual garbage heap. There was never anything fundamentally missing from your life. 

You just thought that there was. Others tried to convince you that you were not good enough, because they too felt not good enough. In your innocence, and with no evidence to the contrary, you believed them. So you spent all those years trying to fix, purify and perfect yourself. You sought power, wealth, fame and even enlightenment to prove your worth as a ‘me’. You compared yourself to other versions of ‘me’, and always felt inferior or superior, and it all became so exhausting, trying to reach those unreachable goals, trying to live up to some image that you didn’t even fully believe in anyway, and you longed for the deep rest of yourself.  

But you were always perfect, you see, from the very beginning. Perfect in your total imperfection. Your imperfections, your quirks, your flaws, your weirdnesses, your unique and irreplaceable flavours, were what made you so loveable, so human, so real, so relatable. Even in your imperfection, you were always a perfect expression of life, a beloved child of the universe, a complete work of art, unique in all the world and deserving of all the riches of life.  

It was never about being a perfect ‘me’. It was always about being perfectly Here, perfectly yourself, in all your divine strangeness.  

“Forget your perfect offering”, Leonard Cohen sings. “There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” 

(Jeff Foster)

The Guru

 

The one who makes you laugh until your stomach hurts and you snort like a pig is your guru. 

The one who brings tears to your eyes, the one who makes you weep your secrets out, is your guru. 

The one who challenges you, triggers old pain in you, makes you face your deepest fears and longings, helps you tell the truth, is your guru. 

Every breath is your guru. Every beat of the heart. Every sound. The morning breeze caressing your cheek is your guru. 

The car that won’t stop, the missed opportunity, the broken promise, the shattered glass, these are all your gurus. 

The ones you love, the ones who frustrate you like anything, the ones who bore you to tears, the ones you don’t want to remember, they are your gurus too. 

This entire life, so fleeting, so present, so rich with blessings, is your guru. 

You can go seek your guru in an ashram in India, but the true ashram is where you stand. 

You can go find your authority in a cave on a mountaintop, but, friend, if you look deeply into the present, you will find you are already there. Presence is closer than the next breath. 

The Kingdom is spread out over the earth, waiting for open eyes. 

(Jeff Foster)

Enlightenment Is Not A Destination

There is no fixed path to enlightenment. 

Enlightenment is not a goal, the resting place at the end of a long journey -that’s the mind’s version of enlightenment. 

Enlightenment is the lighting up of where you are right now.   

This is very good news. It means that nobody is the authority on your path – no teacher, no guru, no religious leader. It means that nobody can tell you the right ‘way’ for you. It means that you cannot go wrong, even if you think you’ve gone wrong. It means that nothing that happens can ever lead you off the path, for the path is whatever happens, without exception. Nothing can take you away from the miracle of life, or bring you closer to it for that matter, since the miracle is all around, already shining brightly, as every thought, sensation, image, feeling, smell, sound, and as the deeper miracle of the one who is aware of all of this.  

Be the awareness, shining on the moment, whatever its contents. Doubt, fear, sadness, anger, intense confusion – maybe, just maybe, these are neither enemies nor blocks to enlightenment, but expressions of a deeper intelligence, the same incomprehensibly vast and awake intelligence that gives birth to stars and moves the ocean tides and sends each and every living thing off on its paradoxical journey towards its own being.  

Come out of the story of time and space and progress towards a future goal, and trust a sacred moment. Take any moment. Any moment at all. This moment. For any moment is the access point.   

There are never any blocks – only access points. 

You are not some separate entity on a long journey towards a future completion.   

You are pure poetry. 

(Jeff Foster)

Mars One Way

If offered a one way ticket to Mars would you go? I found this short film fascinating about those who would and their thoughts about it. With that being said, I'm happy to stay here on Earth. Nonetheless, I can't blame those who would want to discover the great beyond. 

Invitation to Rest Deeply

 

Here’s some very good news. 

Right here, right now, in this moment, you don’t have to ‘figure out’ the rest of your life, no matter what anyone says. 

You don’t need all the answers. They will come, in time, or not, or perhaps the unnecessary questions will fall away. 

There is no rush. Life is not in a hurry. Be like the seasons. Winter is not trying to become summer. Spring does not rush towards autumn. The grass grows at its own pace. 

The choices that will be made will be made, and you’ve no choice about that. The decisions that will happen will happen, events will unfold, but right now perhaps you don’t need to know the solutions or the outcomes or how best to proceed. Perhaps not knowing is a welcome guest at life’s banquet. Perhaps openness to possibility is a beloved friend. Perhaps even confusion can come to rest here. 

And so, instead of trying to ‘fix’ our lives, instead of trying to neatly resolve the unresolveable and quickly complete the epic story of a fictitious ‘me’, we simply relax into utter not knowing, unravelling in the warm embrace of mystery, sinking deeply into the moment, savoring it fully, in all its uniqueness and wonder. 

And then, perhaps without any effort, without any struggle or stress, without ‘you’ being involved at all, the true answers will emerge in their own sweet time. 

(Jeff Foster)

My Favorite Rice Salad

Need a quick healthy fix? My favorite rice salad does the trick. A healthy, vegan meal that is light and at the same time satisfying as well as simple to prepare. As we are blessed with more light entering into March, it feels good to lighten things up and this does the trick! Bon appetit!

Ingredients

2/3 cup wild rice
1/3 cup brown rice

1 red pepper
1 green pepper
2 celery stalks
4 spring onions
2/3 cup dried cranberries
2/3 cup cashews

2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
2 tablespoons olive oil
salt and pepper to taste


Directions

1. Cook both the wild rice and brown rice separately according to instructions.

2. Meanwhile, chop veggies, cranberries, and cashews to a consistent size (1 centimeter chunks). Put in large bowl, mix vinegar and olive oil.

3. When the rice is cooked, rinse in cold water and drain well. Add to bowl with the vegetables and dressing, salt and pepper to taste.

Freedom

"Freedom is not necessarily exciting; it’s just free. Very peaceful and quiet, so very quiet. Of course, it is also filled with joy and wonder, but it is not what you imagine. It is much, much less. Many mistake the intoxicating power of otherworldly charisma for enlightenment. More often than not it is simply otherworldly, and not necessarily free or enlightened. In order to be truly free, you must desire to know the truth more than you want to feel good. Because if feeling good is your goal, then as soon as you feel better you will lose interest in what is true. This does not mean that feeling good or experiencing love and bliss is a bad thing. Given the choice, anyone would choose to feel bliss rather than sorrow. It simply means that if this desire to feel good is stronger than the yearning to see, know, and experience Truth, then this desire will always be distorting the perception of what is Real, while corrupting one’s deepest integrity."

 (Adyashanti)

Rebuilding

February was an interesting month coming off our annual two month trip to Mysore, India. I had a few ups and down during our stay in Mysore but as always the daily practice was our rooting force and of course the primary reason for being there. I started to get an itch in my throat our last few days which inevitably turned into full blown flu when I arrived back home. On top of that a sore shoulder that has been off and on over the past 8 months. Practice in Mysore no doubt always holds a certain amount of intensity and this year was no different if not more so. My practice was epic, meaning long. No doubt extremely strength building both physically and mentally. When I arrived home the hammer fell and I was held at a stand still in terms of the momentum of practice acquired in Mysore, so I thought. Let's just say I was laid out, worse than I had been in years. No practice for nearly a week. Afterward it left my body feeling weak from days of fever and muscle aches.

Reacclimatizing from humid, warm weather to cold and dry, and coming back from flu the practice felt like I had to start from the beginning on a certain level, at least physically. Mentally what I found was the stability established from months of focused practice in Mysore still carried me even though the body wasn't quite there yet. Although, I can't say it felt like a honeymoon. For whatever reason it didn't feel like the body wanted to bounce back as quickly as I have experienced before. Humbling and one that takes attentive awareness around the rough edges. This go around it felt like there were more rough edges than usual.

On the flip side I've had more energy so it has been an interesting mix during the healing process. Sometimes things are unexplainable. One reason to keep the overall scope and perspective of the practice at heart. I've learned how detaching ourselves to how we felt for a period before or even the day before is important. Every day brings a new beginning. Every day there is something new to learn and discover. An unfolding that isn't always what we thought it would be or should be. 

Knowledge and Ritual

"Knowledge and ritual without compassion is empty."    (Jesus)

I read somewhere recently that in our practices resistance will follow us every step of the way. True. I'd have to say this definitely comes with the territory. Some periods are tougher than others and with resistance I have found how important it is to be attentive and watchful in how we connect to the practice in relationship to others. There are many trappings along the path as well as tests and if we are not mindful entering into more layers of delusion are bound to happen. In many ways I feel it humorous to write about such things because in no way am I an expert but it is something I have been contemplating lately and well here I am writing about it. So there!

Seriously though, oh wait, no I don't want to be so serious because sometimes I think that is the issue, taking ourselves way to seriously in relationship to our daily ritual of yoga practice. Yes, I take my practice seriously, for it has been an anchor, giving stability and focus, connecting to what I like to call my divine center. It's an intimate thing we touch between the spaces of our inhale and exhale, in those apexes between thoughts when our heart skips a beat because what is available in these spaces is available to all. With that, we must remember in our relationships with others everyone is in a process and we must be compassionate for whatever process that is. What I have learned is the greater intelligence knows all and no matter how much yoga I practice or books I read on the topic it in no way makes me any more in the know if I don't practice quietly sitting in this space of intelligence and usually that happens being the example more than schooling others when they have failed to understand the meaning of ahimsa (non-violence) or satya (truth) for example. 

I remember a while back after a situation that was massively blown out of portion someone then decided to throw the word satya around in a condemning fashion. It caused me to pause and reflect on the importance of the yamas and niyamas which are embedded in the first two limbs of Ashtanga yoga, the Eightfold Path. I reflected on the fact that nowhere does it seem to express, correct me if I am wrong, that we are supposed to judge others on these ethical practices. Yes, I use the word practice because they are what we ourselves practice and in the same light not necessarily to be projected onto others because obviously when we do so it is another form of distraction. They are guiding posts for us to be internally awake and what I have found calm and center my state of mind. I have also learned to accept that yes I will fail at times and I might even see others fail or be misguided and well it isn't always my call to make. Now, I'm not talking about major injustices in the world but more like day to day occurrences and interactions we have with friends, families, colleagues, or other yoga practitioners. 

Yes the phrase, "be the change you wish to see in the world," has been thrown around a lot lately but nonetheless puts into perspective that when I touch the light inside and shine it outward it no doubt holds more power than spiritual arrogance and or condemnation that let's be frank, often times is hidden behind a myriad of words and posturing that aren't always honest at their root. I like to use my own father as an example. He is the type of person that is very diligent and what some would call serious in regards to his own spiritual life. What over the years made it remarkable to me is the nonjudgmental attitude he would reflect on others in terms of these spiritual principles. It is something that has always stuck with me and has held importance as I journey forward. 

At the same time it is important we honor our feelings and be straightforward with those around us and what I am finding is not at the risk of losing all sense of compassion and sensitive awareness. I truly feel compassion is also about the art of listening without the filter of my own experience and knowing. To understand what someone is expressing without having to sound smart, charismatic or knowledgable. Can I find common ground even with those who have absolutely nothing in common with me?  Can I take in someone fully without hiding behind all my yoga knowledge? Because in truth, we are all born of the same source no matter the life experience or life choices. 

At the heart of knowledge and ritual is compassion. No need to hide behind anything for our ritual and knowledge are tools only and not what we ultimately connect to. 

“Spirit is in a state of grace forever. 

Your reality is only spirit. 

Therefore you are in a state of grace forever. 

(A Course in Miracles)

Sincerity

"To have genuine sincerity is absolutely necessary in the spiritual life. Sincerity encompasses the qualities of honesty, genuineness, and integrity. To be sincere does not mean to be perfect. In fact, the very effort to be perfect is itself insincere, because it is a way of avoiding seeing yourself as you are right now. To be able and willing to see yourself as you are, with all of your imperfections and illusions, requires genuine sincerity and courage. If we are constantly trying to hide from ourselves, we will never be able to awaken from our illusion of self." 

(Adyashanti)