Conundrum

"Patanjali is the greatest scientist of the inner. His approach is that of a scientific mind: he is not a poet. Patanjali is a rare flower. He has a scientific mind, but his journey is inner. That's why he became the first and last word: he is the alpha and the omega. For five thousand years nobody could improve upon him. It seems he cannot be improved upon. He will remain the last word-because the very combination is impossible. To have a scientific attitude and to enter into the inner is almost impossible. He talks to the intellect but his aim, his target, is the heart. This you have to remember. We will be moving on a dangerous terrain. If you forget that he is a poet also, you will be misguided."

~ OSHO




Again, I find myself in a conundrum...I love that word...anyway, I can't think of any better way to express the upheaval of feelings that are present.

I have so many questions. Is it this or that? Is it all or nothing? Right, left? Up or down?

I guess, the truth is...there is a way of being that is beyond duality. My challenge, I find, is getting in touch with a balanced set point that feels good for me.

Some confusion has set in...

Anyway, I went to the meditation center again this morning, and sat in on the discussion group. Its blowing my mind every time I go, and I got in touch with some interesting insights. However, when asked if I had anything to share, part of me clams up, and has nothing to say. I've had the experience of feeling so much...however, it can be a challenge for me to decipher exactly what it is I'm experiencing, sometimes long after it comes. It takes awhile for all of it to soak in. All I know is that there is a deeper intelligence at work that can never be accessed through the thinking mind. So, in that regard, I am willing to be patient, and embody, and breathe in, some of this way of experiencing. Really, its all a mystery...a mystical dance...and maybe I don't have to have all the answers...but, maybe I need to continue to practice riding the wave with better ease, and cease to resist. It feels so much better to just go with the flow...