Back to Normal

She who is centered in the Tao can go where she wishes without danger. She perceives the universal harmony, even amid great pain, because she has found peace in her heart.

~Lao Tzu

I finally feel a sense of normalcy, which is comforting. Woke up early, and started practice at around 4:30am. Mr. Wang was generous enough to give me a key to the studio. There is an abundance of natural light and airy open space which makes practice here pretty special. I've become accustomed to starting the practice as the sun rises...and enjoy the short walk to the studio before dawn as all is quiet and still. This time of day, and the energy it brings, has become a special time for me...how I enjoy it.

Practice felt good...however, there were many kinks that needed to be ironed out. Its amazing what a long flight can do. Before I even started my sun salutations I was already dripping with sweat. So, you can imagine what the remainder of the practice was like. At times I had to just stop and take it easy...as to not get overheated...it's just gonna take time adjusting. But, its true, this climate it quite conducive to the practice of yoga. Not just the temperature, but also the diet here is naturally pretty light...and with there being plenty of tropical fruits too...and many vegetable choices...I'm totally down.

My apartment is very simple. I declined having a T.V....Wanna experience as much simplicity as possible, and see what it brings up.

Start teaching tomorrow...I come knowing nothing...however, everything is born from experience...and, the process of continually emptying myself has become an important part of the process.

I finished reading Siddhartha last night. I really enjoyed it, and took in some interesting pearls to ponder. A simple short read with depth.

But today he only saw one of the river's secrets, one that gripped his soul. He saw that the water continually flowed and flowed and yet it was always there; it was always the same and yet every moment it was new.

But he learned more from the river that Vasudeva could teach him. He learned from it continually. Above all, he learned from it how to listen, to listen with a still heart, with a waiting, open soul, without passion, without desire, without judgment, without opinions.

Wisdom is not communicable. The wisdom which a wise man tries to communicate always sounds foolish.

Vasudeva listened with great attention; he heard all about his studies, his seekings, his pleasures and needs. It was one of the ferryman's greatest virtues that, like few people, he knew how to listen. Without his saying a word, the speaker felt that Vasudeva took in every word, quietly, expectantly, that he missed nothing. He did not await anything with impatience and gave neither praise nor blame--he only listened. Siddhartha felt how wonderful it was to have such a listener who could be absorbed in his own life, his own strivings, his own sorrows.

~excerpt from, Siddhartha, by Hermann Hesse

On the plane ride over I finished the Toa Te Ching. Well...I feel silly saying I finished it...truthfully I read through it the first time. But, how can one really finish it? Every verse comes with so much depth and insight...it's something I will continually have to revisit. Just like with each thread the Yoga Stutras, each verse in the Toa Te Ching carry with it a bottomless depth of insight, inspiration, and wisdom. Again, with the same theme of simplicity.


16th Verse

Become totally empty.
Let your heart be at peace.
Amidst the rush of worldly comings and goings,
observe how endings become beginnings.

Things flourish, each by each,
only to return to the Source...
to what is and what is to be.

To return to the root is to find peace.
To find peace is to fulfill one's destiny.
To fulfill one's destiny is to be constant.
To know the constant is called insight.
Not knowing this cycle
leads to eternal disaster.

Knowing the constant gives perspective.
This perspective is impartial.
Impartiality is the highest nobility;
the highest nobility is Divine.

Being Divine, you will be at one with the Tao.
Being at one with the Tao is eternal.
This way is everlasting,
not endangered by physical death.

~The Tao Te Ching, Lao Tzu

If you could get rid of yourself just once, the secret of secrets would open to you. The face of the unknown, hidden beyond the universe would appear on the mirror of your perception.

~ Rumi

Its hot, hot, hot! A different kind of heat with a mixture of intense humidity...I feel it may take a while for my body to accumulate. I've always been a fan of warm weather, but with a mixture of jet lag along with it...well, let's just say I feel out of sorts.

I practiced early in the morning. Wow. That was interesting. With it being so warm my body felt like liquid goo. May sound like a good thing...but it can be a bit unsettling at first...feeling as if there is no resistance in the body at all. I felt unusually light...but, with a bout of dizziness, along with that, I really had to take it slow. It's almost as if I have a new set point to contend with. So, it's gonna be important that I move with focused awareness. Well, I guess that should always be the case...right? I'm keeping it simple practicing Primary Series for the remainder of the week to bring the body and mind into balance.

With the outer environment changed it allows me to practice connecting from center...its challenging no doubt...but this is when the practice of Yoga off the mat begins to translate. We'll see how it goes.

There is a vitality, a life force that is translated through you into action. And because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost.

~Martha Graham

Made it to Chiayi, Taiwan

If I could take all your words away and give you but a sparse few, they would be: 'I now know, I am absolute, I am complete, I am God, I am.' If there were no other words but these, you would no longer be limited to this plane.

~Ramtha

I made it. Still a bit out of it. With the time being exactly 12 hours ahead of where I'm from it will take some adjusting...but, I'm getting there.

The travels went well. I landed in Taipei pretty late, and after exchanging money, walking through customs, and gathering my luggage it was around 11pm. I must have looked like a lost child because I was offered much help, and assistance wherever I went. I've been extremely impressed by the kind generosity extended forth by the Taiwanese people. It has been one positive experience after another. I feel blessed, and warm hearted it.

After spending the night in Taipei I caught the high speed train down to Chiayi...my final destination. Chiayi...pronounced like Jai-yee.





Below is the train station in Chiayi...very nice!





After finally getting settled I took a moment to be...to then question...am I on the right path?...From there I stepped outside onto my balcony...the clouds parted from monsoon like rains...and I got my answer.

You see, it's not about looking toward greater fulfillment...if we just slow down, and look, there is wonder and grace to behold right now.



The view from my apartment...

In Osaka, Japan

Even after all this time the Sun never says to the Earth, "You owe Me." Look what happens with a Love like that, it lights the Whole Sky.

~Hafiz

In Japan after the longest flight of my life. Detroit to Osaka. I'm completely out of it. What's my name again...?

Flew from Columbus to Detroit. From Detroit we were delayed about an hour or so because President George W. was touching down. Anyway, we made up time on the way over the Pacific.

My neck may never be the same again...hahahaha

I'm tired, but not cranky...which is good.

Where am I going? Oh yeah, Taiwan. I need to snap out of it.

Explore Dream Discover

Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

~ Mark Twain

Wow. I'm wondering how I've been able to keep my head on straight the last several days. Luckily, I still made it to my mat yesterday, and today. When the everyday gets more chaotic I need the practice more than ever...and, hold such value for my friends and family as well. It used to not always be that way. But, I gotta tell ya, I've felt such love and support lately that it overshadows any type of negativity that has come my way. Somehow with this bit of greater strength, I feel better equipped not to get embroiled in it. For once, I feel that I take a piece of those who have touched me in my heart as a part of me...I feel as if its not just me anymore...and, its not all about me either. If feels better to come from this place... it's more expansive...more light.

Now. I must pack. Ugh. My trouble is gonna be the books I wanna take. Its all a matter of how much I want to weigh myself down. In the end, I guess keeping it simple is best.

So. As of late, I've been feeling more comfortable living in the mystery. Me and a friend of mine where talking about how easy it is to get caught up in always wanting to know everything. I can't say I've learned any of these lessons by choice...lol...for they were more thrust upon me. Nevertheless, I wouldn't have had it any other way...and many times it can be a scary place to sit. Now, I feel it is time to find more stability along with being open and free spirited. It's as if the universe had to swing the pendulum so far to one side to wake me up...funny how that works. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It may not have felt the most fun going through it...but I'm still in one piece...so there is always something to celebrate!

Explore. Dream. Discover. When pondering what the purpose of life is. I'm just so over the struggle. Yes, there will be challenges. But, the one thing I have taken to heart is how beautiful it is to move through life with openness and innocence. When I think back to many of my happiest times it stemmed from that. Always looking...observing with a fresh perspective...setting judgments aside. No past...No future...only today.

The first thing you learn in life is you're a fool. The last thing you learn is you're the same fool. Sometimes I think I understand everything. Then I regain consciousness.

~Ray Bradbury

Lol...

Jeff Buckley

Jeff Buckley
Novemeber 17, 1966-May 29, 1997




One of my good friends always turns me on to an eclectic mix of music. Recently, she recommended Jeff Buckley, who died at the young age of 30 I believe. I'm always astounded, because sometimes I feel like I've been living under a rock or something...how come I've never come across his music?...It's pretty amazing...

Girls are Weirdos

Spent the afternoon with one of my best girlfriends. She had this book on her dining room table, Girls are Weirdos, but they smell pretty, by Todd Harris Goldman, that she had just bought. We spent a better part of a half an hour cracking up at the passages inside the book. I mean...yeah we're girls, but some of the stuff written was sad...but, so very true...and so very funny.

Here are some of the following...



Bad Boys

Why is it that girls seem to prefer bad boys to nice ones? Don't you realize that with a little time and patience nice boys will end up treating you just as badly as the bad boys do? Geez!


Bad Hair Day

Why do girls get so upset over a bad hair day? I mean, come on, it's only temporary! It will be fine tomorrow, ladies. You should be grateful you even have hair, even though half your hair is fake anyway! I would be more concerned with a bad face day or a bad body day. Those are permanent and can only be fixed with plastic surgery.


Chocolate

The yummiest, tastiest, bestest treat in the whole wide world. It makes you happy and makes all your problems go away. It's even better than sex. But it also makes you fat and gives you pimples. Which means you won't be having much sex anyway, so I guess it all evens out!


Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat?

You already know the answer, don't you? You're just looking for someone to be mad at, that's all. So if I tell you the truth, you get pissed at me. And if I lie, you get even more pissed at me. I can't win either way! So, I'm going to answer you straight-up once and for all (and I'm doing this for every guy who's ever been tortured by this same stupid question. Yes, that dress makes you look fat! You're are not skinny enough to pull it off! Spandex is a privilege, not a right! Next question...


Eat Something Already

Okay, girls, here's a lesson you need to learn: Food, which is good for you, should be eaten, digested, then pooped out, all in one continuous railroad track of happy digestion and nutrition. If you eat, then puke, the train derails. If you never eat anything, the train can't leave the station. Just because we like you skinny and hot doesn't mean it's okay to stick you finger down your throat.


Fake Eyelashes

Nothing is sexier than a girl with thick black 3-inch plastic rods coming out of her eyes. It looks like a tarantula got stuck on its back and is kicking its legs in the air. Why do girls go through the torture of gluing those things on? I guess it's some sort of contraption to capture food for the eye...like a Venus flytrap.

Flowers

Also known as the "get out of jail free" card. Guys love flowers! I mean guys love the power of flowers. We can totally get in a fight, cheat on our girlfriend, run over her dog, and accidentally sleep with her best friend...and everything will be okay. Why? Because we sent her flowers. A dozen smelly little weeds that die in a week just saved our ass. I love flowers.


Girly Magazines

Seventeen, Vogue, Cosmo, Teen Queen, whatever...they're all the same. They're basically just instruction manuals telling girls how to dress to attract guys, what kind of guys to date, how to get rid of unwanted zits so guys will sleep with you, and how to stay under 90 pounds so guys will find you hot. Guys like them because, duh, they're full of articles on guys (e.g., how to drive a guy crazy in bed), so it drives home the point that making us happy is really what it's all about.


Hair Extensions

Why do girls weave hair from a horse's rear end to their heads? I think that's taking the term "ponytail" a little too far, don't you? Instead, why not go down to the highway and pick up some roadkill? What's wrong with a little opossum or squirrel hair? And just think, with a skunk you wouldn't have to put streaks in your hair, either.


It's Not You, It's Me

I love you, but I'm not in love with you, you deserve someone better, I need some space, I don't want to ruin our friendship: All mean the same thing...I no longer find you attractive and I want to have sex with as many girls as possible. And by the way, it IS you!


Silent Treatment

Oooh, you're not talking to me! Thanks, I can use the break. The phone calls every 15 minutes asking me where I am, and what I'm doing, and who I'm with, were getting kind of annoying. So basically I'm a huge fan of the silent treatment and wish girls used it more often.


Walk of Shame

We have all seen her: the girl with the messy hair, runny makeup, wearing the same clothes she wore the night before, stumbling to her car, shoes in hand, purse dragging behind on the ground, hurrying home to take a shower after her embarrassing one-night stand. It just sucks when it's your best friend's mom.


What Are We?

Apparently, relationship status is very important to girls. It's even a criteria on MySpace! Single or In A Relationship? That's the big question. Are we boyfriend and girlfriend or are we just friends? Are we exclusive or can we date other people? Then when you finally decide that we are boyfriend/girlfriend, the next day you don't want a boyfriends anymore. This really confuses me. My head hurts, who cares, let's just cuddle.

Alive

Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive.

~Howard Thurman


I practiced sitting this morning. With change a foot, I'm doing my best to stay present and not give in to anxiety...and worry about the things I cannot control. Somehow though, the way things have come together feels good...they feel right. It's interesting how that comes about when choosing to surrender to what is...ha...but it hasn't been the easiest process, and I'm still steadily learning what it means.

It's been in the times of challenge where I've come to realize the depth and scope of how important my daily practice has become to keep me grounded and in tune with what is important. Often, I feel over come with gratitude. Not only have I become physically stronger, but alas, maybe just maybe my spirit has strengthened too...

I love the above quote. Moving forward this is a question I will continue to ask myself. What makes me come Alive? Its an important thing to ask. Hopefully if I choose this route, all will be revealed to me in due time...

My whole teaching consists on two words, "meditation" and "love." Meditate so that you can feel immense silence, and love so that your life can become a song, a dance, a celebration. You will have to move between the two, and if you can move easily, if you can move without effort, you have learnt the greatest thing in life.

~ Osho


Started the day with practice in the morning. Did Primary Series...felt good...had fun, enjoyed.

Spent time with RW. It was a beautiful day in Columbus...took the opportunity to enjoy the incredible weather. We hung out at the park...and for kicks, walked around the OSU campus and ate Fly Pie...haha...its the simple things that make for a good day.

I'll leave this post with a few RW-isms. I'm beginning to start a mental list. Here, I'll share just a few...All I can do is shake my head, and laugh in amusement.

I only run from two things in life...the police and commitment.

The difference between men and women is that in the beginning of a relationship men don't want the woman to change...but women see what they want to change.

Is He For Real ?

Seriously, I mean...is he for real? I just had to ask...

Peace

Entering the realm of Peace...deep peace, is a drawing in of a higher frequency vibration that continues to build on the other mentioned characteristics mentioned in Power vs. Force, by Dr. David Hawkins. Its interesting, and reaffirms how we all must do our part to shift within to have a true effect on the outer world as we know it. Its taken much practice, and continues to be challenging...but, the moment I begin to walk down the path of negativity, and blame outer circumstance, it gives me the opportunity to, once again, go inside, and feel where the angst is coming from. I love how Hawkins calls each energy level...a level of awareness. It all goes back to awareness...it never seems to end...deep, deep, deep.

Energy Level 600: Peace
This energy level is associated with the experience designated by such terms as transcendence, self-realization, and God-consciousness. It's extremely rare...

When this state is reached, the distinction between subject and object disappears, and there's no specific focal point of perception.

At this level, formal religion is commonly transcended, to be replaced by the pure spirituality out of which all religion originates.

Perception at the level of 600 and above is sometimes reported as occurring in slow motions, suspended in time and space--nothing is stationary, and all is alive and radiant.

Although this world is the same as the one seen by others, it has become continuously flowing, evolving in an exquisitely coordinated evolutionary dance in which significance and source are overwhelming. This awesome revelation takes place nonrational, so that there is an infinite silence in the mind, which has stopped conceptualizing.

That which is witnessing and that which is witnessed takes on the same identity; the observer dissolves into the landscape and becomes equally the observed. Everything is connected to everything else by a Presence whose power is infinite, exquisitely gentle, yet rock-solid.

Great works of art, music, and architecture that calibrate between 600 and 700 can transport us temporarily to higher levels of consciousness and are universally recognized as inspirational and timeless.

The Toa Te Ching

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.

~ Lao Tzu


Practice Notes:

Once again, made it up to Eka Pada Bakasana... my nemesis...who will soon become my friend, I hope. It's all coming down to whether I have enough juice to gather some sort of hang time by the time I reach this point in the practice. The thing about 3rd Series isn't necessarily that each individual posture is challenging...but, its a matter of doing them sequentially, in order, maintaining composure, concentration, and flow...among other things.

Strange, lately after practice, even though the temps outside have been warm, I get cold and feel as if I need to bundle myself up...not sure what that's all about. Today, I was severing...



I met up with RW today. He just got into town from Japan last night...we met in Mysore, India. Ironically, he is originally from Columbus, Ohio. I'm so happy we have stayed in touch, and I sincerely feel him as being one of my great friends, and confidants. We talked for hours...catching up on everything from life, love, and fond memories from India. What a great guy. I can always count on him to keep it real...there aren't that many people I've come across that aren't afraid to ask some pretty big questions...but at the same time laugh at it all. What great qualities to posses.

My morning mysore sisters gave me the most lovely going away gift...a copy of the Tao Te Ching. Thank you...It's funny because in the last several days I had made a mental note wanting to pick up a copy to read and study...talk about flow...you ladies are good!!!

Now its all about what to pack...hmmm...this isn't my forte. RW told me to lay everything out I want to take and only pack half...hahahaha...I'll see how that goes.

Joy

After Love...comes the energy level of Joy. Hawkins describes in, Power vs. Force, as the energy levels increase, the number of individuals who calibrate at these levels dramatically decrease. However, on a positive note, humanity on a whole has finally moved over to the positive side of the energetic calibration. The amazing part is a select few who calibrate at higher levels can balance out a mass of those who calibrate on lower more negative levels. In the end, it affirms, where true power really resides...Inspiring!

Energy Level 540: Joy

As Love becomes more and more unconditional, it begins to be experienced as inner Joy. This isn't the sudden joy of a pleasurable turn of events; it's a constant accompaniment to all activities. Joy arises from within each moment of existence, rather than from any other source...

From level 540 up is the domain of saints, and advanced spiritual students and healers.

A capacity for enormous patience and the persistence of a positive attitude in the face of prolonged adversity is characteristic of this energy field; the hallmark of this state is compassion.

People who have attained this level have a notable effect on others. They're capable of a prolonged, open visual gaze, which induces a state of love and peace.

The world one sees is illuminated by the exquisite beauty and perfection of creation. Everything happens effortlessly, by synchronicity, and the world and everything in it is seen to be an expression of love and divinity.

Individual will merges into divine will.

A Presence is felt whose power facilitates phenomena outside conventional expectations of reality, termed miraculous by the ordinary observer. These phenomena represent the power of the energy field, not of the individual.

There's a desire to use one's state of consciousness for the benefit of life itself rather than for particular individuals. The capacity to love many people simultaneously is accompanied by the discovery that the more one loves, the more one can love.

Teaching Yoga in Taiwan

Taiwan, otherwise known as Formosa, meaning beautiful island, resides off the coast off mainland China. The country has a population of approximately 23 million, and the languages spoken are Mandarin and Taiwanese. Taiwan belongs to the tropical and subtropical zones, with the Tropic of Cancer running through its middle. The majority of the Taiwan region falls in the temperate and humid maritime monsoon, Taiwan has neither severe winter has it intense heat of summer.



I will be living in the city of Chiayi, which is in the southern half of the island.




I'm gonna be down in the R.O.C. !!!!!



Much of Taiwan's landscape is mountainous.



There will be beautiful things to see.



This is where I'll be teaching.



Finally have my passport and visa in hand. So, I'm letting it out of the bag, announcing my plans to move to Taiwan for the next 6 months to teach Ashtanga Yoga!

I'm so honored, and blessed to have been invited by the most gracious and kind host. I look forward to it, and sincerely hope I will be of service to the students and yoga community of Chiayi.

I leave next week Wednesday...

Endurance

I like the below description Dr. David Hawkins, in Power vs. Force, describes regarding the states of physical endurance. Personally, I connect it with the practice of Ashtanga Yoga. It's something that has been coming to the forefront lately. The process of entering into a realm, when the body fatigues...to then, find greater strength and awareness...ables one to break down what the mind deems impossible to possible.

I've experienced, in the process of practice, that once I break through the body's fatigue, it allows for an opening into aligning myself to a greater energy or connection to, and a trusting in the life force/prana that resides in each of us. Interestingly enough, it becomes more about letting go, to let flow...

Lately, in practice, I've had this inner voice telling me to pay attention...to even the smallest of things...its a soft, but firm voice...to how I place my hands on the mat...to the smallest of transitions between postures...to the pivot of the foot...to the slight softening of the gaze...I've been called to deepen my focus and internal alignment. Does this mean, my inner teacher is becoming more present?

I've made the habit of ending each practice standing in Samasthitih, just how I start. It represents the pulsation of life and process. There is always the quest, that is present in all of us, to want to reach out...explore...and expand...to then come back home to which we came...with a deeper sense, of something more...to then, start all over again, the next visit to the mat...

It's widely documented that long-distance runners frequently attain sublime states of peace and joy. This very elevation of consciousness, in fact often inspires the prolonged transcendence of pain and exhaustion necessary to achieve higher levels of performance. This very elevation of consciousness, in fact, often inspires the prolonged transcendence of pain and exhaustion necessary to achieve higher levels of performance. This phenomenon is commonly described in terms of pushing oneself to the point where one suddenly breaks through a performance barrier and the activity becomes effortless; the body then seems to move with grace and ease of its own accord, as though animated by some invisible force. The accompanying state of joy is quite distinct from the thrill of success; it's a joy of peace and oneness with all that lives.
It's notable that this transcendence of the personal self and surrender to the very essence or spirit of life often occurs at a point just beyond the apparent limit of the athlete's ability. The seeming barrier is predicated by the paradigm of one's own past accomplishments or of what has been recognized as theoretically possible. Take, for instance, the historic "four-minute mile": Until Roger Bannister tore down that barrier, it was universally accepted that it wasn't humanly possible to run any faster; Bannister's greatness wasn't just in breaking the record, but in breaking through that paradigm to a new model of human possibility. This breakthrough to new levels of potential has correspondences in every field of human endeavor; in many diverse enterprises, those who have achieved greatness have given parallel accounts of the circumstances surrounding their accomplishment.

~ David R. Hawkins, M.D., P.h.D., Power vs. Force

Energy Level 500

Here is Dr. Hawkins's account of the energetic calibration of Love, in Power vs. Force. To embody, takes an extreme, evolved state. Again, I find the topic fascinating. It can be a challenge to step out of the societal conditioning of how love is portrayed, and what it's made to look like. I can't say the media outlets do a very good job in this day and age...or maybe, I'm not looking in the right places. Anyway...

Energy Level 500: Love

Love as depicted in the mass media is not what this level is about. What the world generally refers to as love is an intense emotional condition, combining physical attraction, possessiveness, control, addiction, eroticism, and novelty. It's usually fragile and fluctuating, waxing, and waning with varying conditions. When frustrated, this emotion often revels an underlying anger and dependency that it had masked.

Love is a state of being. It's a forgiving, nurturing, and supportive way of relating to the world. Love isn't intellectual and doesn't proceed from the mind; Love emanates from the heart. It has the capacity to lift others and accomplish great feats because of its purity of motive.

Reason deals only with particulars, whereas Love deals with entireties. This ability, often ascribed to intuition, is the capacity for instantaneous understanding without resorting to sequential symbol processing. This apparently abstract phenomenon is, in fact, quite concrete; it's accompanied by a measurable release of endorphins in the brain.

Love takes no position, and thus is global, rising above separation. It's then possible to be "one with another," for there are no longer any barriers. Love is therefore inclusive and expands the sense of self progressively.

Love focuses on the goodness of life in all its expressions and augments that which is positive--it dissolves negativity by recontextualizing it, rather than by attacking it.

This is the level of true happiness.

Vison of Truth

Vision of Truth

To see the universal and all-pervading spirit of Truth face to face one must be able to love the meanest of creation as oneself. And a man who aspires after that cannot afford to keep out of any field of life. That is why my devotion to Truth has drawn me into the field of politics; and I can say without the slightest hesitation, and yet in all humility, that those who say that religion has nothing to do with politics do not know what religion means.

My uniform experience has convinced me that there is no other God than Truth… The little fleeting glimpses… that I have been able to have of Truth can hardly convey an idea of the indescribable luster of Truth, a million times more intense than that of the sun we daily see with our eyes.

In fact, what I have caught is only the faintest gleam of that mighty effulgence. But this much I can say with assurance, as a result of all my experiments, that a perfect vision of Truth can only follow a complete realization of ahimsa.

Truth resides in every human heart, and one has to search for it there, and to be guided by truth as one sees it. But no one has a right to coerce others to act according to his own view of truth.

~ Mahatma Gandhi

Neutrality, Willingness, Acceptance

Following are the next three energetic calibrations spoken of in, Power vs. Force, after Courage. I'm probably coming off as the biggest geek ever...that's quite alright...however, being more of a right brained person by nature, I enjoy the perspective Dr. Hawkins gives on spirituality, that it being more science based, broadens my point of view.

Energy Level 250: Neutrality

As in the martial arts, a rigid position becomes a point of vulnerability; that which doesn't bend is liable to break.

To be Neutral means to be relatively unattached to outcomes; not getting one's way is no longer experienced as defeating, frightening, or frustrating.

This is the beginning of inner confidence; sensing one's power, one isn't easily intimidated or driven to prove anything. The expectation that life, with its ups and downs, will be basically okay if one can roll with the punches in a 250-level attitude.

People of Neutrality have a sense of well-being; the mark of this level is a confident capability to live in the world. This is the level of safety--people at this level are easy to get along with and safe to be around and associate with because they're not interested in conflict, competition, or guilt.

This attitude is nonjudgmental and doesn't lead to any need to control other people's behaviors.



Energy Level 310: Willingness

This very positive level of energy may be seen as the gateway to higher levels.

Willingness implies that one has overcome inner resistance to life and is committed to participation.

Willingness is sympathetic and responsive to the needs of others. Willing people are builders of, and contributors to, society. With their capacity to ounce back from adversity and learn from experience, they tend to become self-correcting. Having let go of Pride, they're willing to look at their defects and learn from others. At the level of Willingness, people become excellent students.


Energy Level 350: Acceptance

At this level of awareness, a major transformation takes place, with the understanding that one is oneself the source and creator of the experience of one's life.

This level is not to be confused with passivity, which is a symptom of apathy. Acceptance allows engagement in life on life's own terms, without trying to make it conform to an agenda.

There is emotional calm with Acceptance, and perception is widened as denial is transcended. One now sees things without distortion or misinterpretation; the context of experience is expanded so that one is capable of "seeing the whole picture."

Acceptance has to do essentially with balance, proportion, and appropriateness.

The individual at the level of Acceptance isn't interested in determining right or wrong, but instead is dedicated to resolving issues and finding out what to do about problems.

At the level of Acceptance, we're not polarized by conflict or opposition; we see that other people have the same rights as we do, and we honor equality.

Therefore, this level is free of discrimination or intolerance; there's an awareness that equality doesn't exclude diversity; Acceptance includes rather than rejects.

Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really are.

~Rumi



Life feels as if its moving so fast. Especially, leading up to leaving. People keep asking me if I'm excited. But, to be honest it hasn't fully hit me yet. Guess it will sink in once I'm on a plane heading west to actually be ending up east.

I taught my last class today as well. Its funny how things work. Just when I was starting to get a good feel for the students...observing their progress...I leave. I felt a twinge of sadness.

Excited to see a friend of mine who I met in Mysore, India last summer. Its been great that we've stayed in touch...can't wait to catch up with him. He comes in town tomorrow night. Its a bit amusing because he's moving out of Asia, where he's been for a while now...as I'm on my way there soon.


Practice Notes

It was a drowsy practice in the morning...made a bit of a breakthrough in Viparita Chakrasna (tic tocs), when flipping back over...I've found better control, and was able to come down with more ease, and finesse...its all about the core baby! We'll see how long it lasts. When it gets to this point in the practice often I feel as if I've gotten nothing left...gotta dig deep.

Dreams, Practice and Other Things

Had a powerful dream the other night, that was shamanic in nature. Hard to explain. But, I'll try. See...this was the 3rd dream...in a line of two others...that was so strong in nature, I woke up feeling like...whoa what the hell happened...intuitively, I feel the connection with the other two, because of the intensity present...challenging to explain.

There were various dynamics in the dream...and I was given a bit of information by someone in it. Sorry...I won't share here...but, the interesting part was the release that took place. For those that don't buy into it...I can totally understand...but, my God...this was something else.

I entered into what seemed to be a tent, reminiscent of a Native American teepee...but, not quite...and, there was someone there...like a guide, teacher, or wise man of some sort. From there, I laid down and was transported into another dimension...as if I was in a dream with in a dream...quickly, and with enormous power, I felt as if I was pulled into a vortex, where I felt every pain, and hurt from this life, and many lifetimes, as if it was all being sucked out of me...with this release, I felt no fear because I was supported and felt safe. All was coming out like a tornado, and as it released I yelled, something fierce, as if it were all tied up in my throat...soooo strange. So vivid, so clear...so...i dunno...Crazy. Afterward, the guide told me a little bit...and, I felt at peace. Part of what he said was that what was inside ran very deep. Interesting. There is more to it...but, I'd like to leave it at that...

The nice part about it was that there were others there with me...and, I felt complete. Having always battled with a feeling of utter loneliness at my core, for whatever reason. Leading up to this dream it has dissipated a bit...and now, I feel better about my path...for today. I don't want to over analyze...there is no point, but strange, and interesting insights are starting to make sense...and become more clear.

Well...let me just plant my feet back on solid ground again. (Deep breath).

Practice, practice, practice:

Last week I missed Wednesday, and Thursday, because of my trip...but, was back at it on Friday. No worries.

Something has gotten into me...I had two marathon sessions over the weekend. Saturday I practiced for 2.5 hours and Sunday for 3. This isn't my usual. Think I was possessed...I had the energy...and I went with it...to be honest, it felt f#cking great!!

It was a fun experimentation. I love how when the body tires and fatigues...somehow a deeper power develops and still, one is able to endure...as the mind ceases...clarity comes, when thinking stops, and one becomes absorbed in the body and the movement at hand. It is no longer me doing the work, or the efforting...for, there is an element of the asana, and becoming one with it...and the bridge begins with the breath.

This morning I made it up to Eka pada bakasana...no more avoiding. Haha! Let's see, maybe I had about 2.5 seconds of hang time...but, that could be a stretch...haha.


Travels.

I'm sure glad I called the office that is taking care of my visa today. They thought I was going to China...Haaaaa...not quite...close, but not quite.

Courage

Courage

Courage is the price that Life exacts for granting peace,

The soul that knows it not, knows no release
From little things;

Knows not the livid loneliness of fear,
Nor mountain heights where bitter joy can hear
The sound of wings.

How can Life grant us boon of living, compensate
For dull grey ugliness and pregnant hate
Unless we dare

The soul's dominion? Each time we make a choice, we pay
With courage to behold the restless day.
And count it fair.


~Amelia Earhart

In the book, Power vs. Force, Dr. David R. Hawkins states that at the level of Courage, it is the beginning of when true power is attained...or better stated, it is the start of empowerment. I love how he illustrates the process, as one moves up the ladder...embodying, experiencing, and living the characteristics, stated in the book, one establishes an internal power that increases exponentially as they move up. Fascinating, and worth experimenting with.

More on Courage...

This is the zone of exploration, accomplishment, fortitude, and determination.

At the level of Courage, life is seen to be exciting, challenging, and stimulating.

Courage implies the willingness to try new things and deal with the changes and challenges of life. At this level of empowerment, one is able to cope with and effectively handle the opportunities of life.

There's the capacity to face fears or character defects and to grow despite them.

People at the this level put back into the world as much energy as they take.

For me, courage is an element of being afraid...deathly afraid of something...and doing it anyway. Not an easy thing to do...but, nevertheless, it can be thrilling in the same breath. I've had moments of this when I decided to step forward without thinking or second guessing myself...and with it, a rush of power came over me. These are rare instances...that happen in a blink of an eye...and much of it is about trust. Once the mind enters in, and doubt settles, the power is lost...and can be challenging to find again...because in reality, it cannot be found...it must be harnessed, when it presents it self, in a flash. Amazing.

Rendezvous

Waiting in the airport for my flight...and my laptop battery is about to die on me. Hee, hee. So I'll write fast.

For starters, I've been tight lipped about my rendezvous in Florida. Guess I'm ready to spill the beans, so to speak. Whatever that means. In reality, there is nothing to hide. Nevertheless, its an interesting story. But, on the other hand, I go back and forth with how much, exactly, I want to divulge about my life.

Its starts like this.

Back in college I met a boy, and we went out on one date. Somehow, after all these years, he got in touch with me via email. From there we started emailing each other back and forth. Then emailing turned into instant messaging...instant messaging turned into talking on the phone. To... then, after months, we met face to face in Orlando, Florida where he lives, just last week.

In the beginning, I had no problems rekindling a friendship. However, for it to be more was where I began to hesitate...because I was tangled in the web of the boy from Mexico who I met while in India. Sound complicated? Well, it isn't really.

You see...I don't have all the answers...but, there comes a point when you just have to wonder if someone is really all that good for you. Or, maybe its timing. The boy from Mexico...had more going on with him, than I bargained for...not very many people know the whole story, for I have only shared it with a few. It doesn't mean that I care any less. But, there comes a time when letting go is the best thing. There comes a time when someone's own personal growth and happiness is most important, and that needs to take place vs. trying to hold on to and/or balance a relationship. I wasn't going to hold on to a fantasy. I wasn't going to choose a relationship over my own sanity either. Because, there came a point when I felt as if I was being dragged down with him as he was drowning...and he didn't want to do that to me either.

I still believe that love can conquer all...that through loving, the very best scenario will come about...and to the best of my ability I did just that. Life and love are mysterious...and, sometimes loving is holding on tight to those you adore, and sometimes its letting go...just because it didn't have the Cinderella story ending doesn't bother me at all. There are greater things at work, and I don't have a clue where it will all lead...

So...when communicating back and forth with the boy from Florida it was all quite innocent...and naturally I became very fond of him. However, on the other hand, I felt sensitive...I felt raw with many things that have been going on in my life beyond relationships and so forth...so for a while I kept him at arms length.

Yes...I can be an at arms length type a girl. I can be guarded. Because you see...I have this theme in my life...its called...unlucky in love. Yes, yes, yes. At 31, I am still clueless. Hahaha. Well, not entirely, but I can take responsibility for my part. Subconsciously, maybe I am a bit commitment-phobic. I can be hard to pin down. Then on the other hand, many times, I can be fiercely loyal too.

But, where I've gone wrong is who I've chose to draw into my life. There have been so many times I've been approached by the nice guy...the steady guy...and I didn't go for it...I went for the opposite...the guy with a bit more edge, that in the end would probably have nothing to offer. Why? Well...

And, I've had to question and look at what gets me so scared about it? This past year has been a year of growth for me...I would never want to take it back, because moving forward, it has to be different. I mean, seriously, its time to grow up. Hahaha...just a little bit at least!!

But...also, I don't want to be in love just to be in love. Sometimes we get caught up in loving to be in love...It has be much more than that. Much, much more.

I've digressed again, so after months of communication...David and I finally met. But, before that, it had been nearly 10 years since we had seen each other. Crazy!

The trip was short and very sweet.

But, like my style...I'm running off again to leave the country for another adventure.

The best I can do at this stage in the game is take everything day by day...by day...that is the best I can do. The past several weeks I've come to terms with much...and for the first time in a long time I've felt deep peace. It took a bit of struggle to get where I'm at, in my heart, in this moment...and it feels pretty darn full...even though there is much uncertainty up ahead...

As I move forward, I feel as if I sit in a more authentic place. Just even feeling good in my own skin is enough. I'm getting a sense of the woman I want to be...and from there the whole world looks like an expansive, more exciting place. Even this little shift has made a difference...I've had more strangers come up and talk to me, than I can remember, in the past several weeks...pretty funny. I feel more connected somehow.

I want to be a better daughter, sister, aunt, student, teacher, friend, and support to those I care about. The biggest thing I've learned is that where I'm at today could have never been made possible without the circle of support that surrounds me.

Its one thing to know what you want. Its another to ask for it...no matter what.

Back to David...what a special person. He's added to my life...not taken from it. I've enjoyed his company and friendship. I like how things have progressed. The future is wide open.

The key to Joy is unconditional kindness to all life, including ones' own, which we refer to as compassion. Without compassion, little of any significance is ever accomplished in human endeavor. We may generalize to the greater social context from individual therapies, wherein the patient can't be truly cured or fundamentally healed until he invokes the power of compassion, both for himself and others. At that point, the healed may become a healer.

~Power vs. Force, David R. Hawkins, M.D., P.h.D.

Practice burned deep this morning. Let's hope the tapas burned away many of my samskaras. Hey...anything is possible. I dripped with sweat today. Obviously the warmer temps brought it about, but also I focused on maintaining my flow...not allowing the mind to grasp onto any one thing. I moved a bit faster...however, I did my best to maintain awareness. Its a delicate balance. When the mind doesn't enter into the picture I have much more fun. Only had enough time to make it up to Durvasana. Part of me is wanting not face the dreaded Eka Pada Bakasana. So, I blame it on time. Hee, hee.

Had a productive morning. Got everything sent out for my Visa. Also, had to order an official copy of my diploma for acquiring a work permit. Which meant I had to take a stroll onto my Alma Mater, The Ohio State University. Got a bit nostalgic walking on campus. So many memories made there. Ha! And, I can't help it, but I love this school...I'm a Buckeye for life.

The difference between treating and healing is that in the former, the context remains the same, whereas in the latter, the clinical response is elicited by a change of context so as to bring about an absolute removal of the cause of the condition rather than mere recovery from its symptoms. It's one thing to prescribe an anti-hypertensive medication for high blood pressure; it's quite another to expand the patient's context of life so that he stops being angry and repressive.

~Power vs. Force, David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D.

Sunday Practice

"Ignorance does not yield to attack, but it dissipates in the light, and nothing dissolves dishonesty faster than the simple act of revealing the truth."

~Power vs. Force, David R. Hawkins, M.D., P.h.D.

Sunday practice has become my play and experimentation day. Did primary and second series ...skipping 3rd. Feeling I need to add another primary series session a week for some reason. Gonna do this for the remainder of the month into when I travel overseas. Primary is all about balance. With change, and shifting on the horizon, it keeps me in check and equanimous.

For the last several weeks, I've used Sundays to add in research postures...as Tim Miller would say...and practice more challenging postures several times in a row...keeping it fun and light. I enjoy doing this, and naturally, Sundays have become the perfect day to play...leaving the remaining days for continuous flow. I got so wrapped up into practice that I lost track of time and noticed I had been going at it for nearly two and a half hours...haha...must have been enjoying myself. Its nice when that happens.

"The only way to enhance one's power in the world is by increasing one's integrity, understanding, and capacity fr compassion."

~Power vs. Force, David R. Hawkins, M.D., P.h.D.

Today

"Facts are accumulated by effort, but truth reveals itself effortlessly."

~Power vs. Force, by David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D.

Sure thing, I practiced today...no day off. Felt I needed it, was inspired to, and didn't practice last Sunday, because of all the moving...so this morning was my make up day. It felt great. I felt energized!! Columbus has been going through a mini-heatwave, and I love it. I'm the type of person who would rather be too hot, than too cold. Makes me nostalgic for India. Sigh.

No matter, I will be heading off to another place with plenty of warm temps. Its hard to believe that soon I'll be headed out of the country. Hasn't really hit me yet.

Often times, in the past, I've ended up looking way ahead toward the future, while missing out with what was right in front of me...thinking there was better fulfillment ahead. So, even though what's coming is on my mind...I'm doing my best to be present with what is going on now. May sound silly, but I've already done too much living in the future stuff. Walking into this new teaching job, I don't wanna go in with lofty expectations, or desires. There is definitely an element of the unknown that I will be heading toward, and that is where I would like it to stay. Besides, what I attend to today will leave me better prepared for what's up ahead.

"The pessimistic position of cynical skepticism stems from fear, while the more optimistic manner of accepting information arises from self-confidence."

~Power vs. Force, David R. Hawkins, M.D., P.h.D.

In case you hadn't noticed, I'm rereading one of my favorites...Power vs. Force, so just to be annoying, I'll be quoting some of my favorite passages in future posts. Lol. Love this book!!

So, in the mean time, I'll be putting together curriculum for several workshops planned...and reading, of course. Plain and simple. The last several months, I've had the freedom...thank you...and time to get in touch with myself, and with life...and I feel reinvigorated. There is a season for everything. There is a time to reflect...lay low, and be...and a time to make manifest with what was simmering while immersed in just being. I don't have it down perfect, naturally, but it gives me hope that moving forward...hopefully...maybe, just maybe I'm a bit wiser.

"When the mind grows silent, the thought I am also disappears, and Pure Awareness shines forth to illuminate what one is, was, and always will be, beyond all worlds and all universes--infinite and beyond time."

~Power vs. Force, David R. Hawkins, M.D., P.h.D.

Practice Outside

"When the mind grows silent, the thought I am also disappears, and Pure Awareness shines forth to illuminate what one is, was, and always will be, beyond all worlds and all universes--infinite and beyond time."

~excerpt from Power vs. Force, by David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D.

Our practice group did a little something different today. We practiced outside at dawn, facing east. Definitely a different experience being in the elements. Had little critters meander on my mat from time to time...with the humidity being fairly high there was a bit of condensation on my mat...had a few slips...haha. Anyway, practice was good. Primary Series. Oddly, I felt out of my body, and found myself easily distracted. Just one of those days. Gotta keep...keeping on...

In my car I keep these Para-Grams, a collection of inspirational cards by Paramahansa Yogananda (author of Autobiography of a Yogi), I picked up at the Self-Realization Fellowship in Encinitas, California the last time I was there. Today's card was Endurance. A perfect word to describe the Ashtanga Yoga experience... with the daily practice...which leads to a life long sustaining practice if willing is a culmination of what endurance is all about. Sometimes it doesn't matter with what...but if we choose to simply endure, with faith, things have a way of coming together. Yes, everyday is different. Yet the practice, with its repetition is the constant. Having both elements truly gives one a training ground to practice endurance, and experience transformation.

I absolutely love what the end of the card stated...

Develop your will power by striving to do things that you thought you could not do. Work for others. Thus will you develop endurance and strength.

"Man thinks he lives by virtue of the forces he can control, but in fact, he's governed by power from unrevealed sources, power over which he has no control. Because power is effortless, it goes unseen and unsuspected. Force is experienced through the senses; power can be recognized only through inner awareness. Man is immobilized in his present condition by his alignment with enormously powerful attractor energy patterns, which he himself unconsciously sets in motion. Moment by moment, he is suspended at this state of evolution, restrained by the energies of force, impelled by the energies of power."

~excerpt from Power vs. Force, by David R. Hawkins, M.D., PhD

Went from feeling electric yesterday...to feeling a bit sluggish today. Felt more resistance in the body. However, I'm finding the asana between the ears has such a deep impact on the quality of practice. I feel close to breaking free...but, I'm also learning it cannot be forced. The harder we grasp the more elusive it all becomes. And, once broken free at one stage...there is always another bridge to cross, another challenge to overcome...another skin to shed.

Speaking of shedding skin. I chopped my hair today...releasing the conjured up image of what society deems beautiful. I used to fight my curly hair and wear it straight, and I've always had the idea that long flowing straight hair was the image of beauty and femininity. Over several years ago I decided to stop fighting my hair and sport the curls like God gave me. This is me, this is what I am. So, in the process of practicing non-attachment, I cut...or a good friend of mine did... still trying to get used to it...still releasing that image. Change is good. Change is always happening. My new mantra. No matter what I must own it. lol. How come as women hair is such a big deal?

I feel compelled to make things simpler.

Learn to listen to the vice within yourself. Your body and mind will become one, and you will realize the unity of all things.

~Dogen Zenji

Woke up early like every morning...with a raging thunderstorm passing through the city. I love summer storms. Just as long as they aren't too damaging of course. There's something about them that remind me of who's really in charge...and the dynamic power of nature. When practicing this morning I felt electric, and more alive than most mornings. Maybe a bit of lightening helps.

In Kapotasana I've been feeling a deeper sense of ease than normal. Also, I've noticed how it can be a challenge to keep a clear focus through out the practice, especially nearing the end...not allowing thoughts and self-talk get the better of me. My goal is to keep a fresh awareness consistent through out...maintaining the focus on and beyond the core axis of the body.

Went and saw the Sex and the City movie with some friends. It was cute...very cute. I appreciated the core theme of the movie...and soooo funny too. Yep, I like movies like this...not afraid to admit it...

Met a friend for dinner...a college friend and fomer teammate. I'm continuously amazed at how fast the years have gone by. It kind of freaks me out when I start thinking about it. How much things change...and how fast it does. That's life I guess. :)

Surrender

A person looks, The blossoms look back: Plain heart seeing into plain heart.

~Sun Bu-er

Teaching yoga, many times, is a humbling experience. Well, most of the time it is...wait... I take that back...I don't think there's ever a time when I don't feel completely humbled and inspired by students...with all their effort and insight. Its exciting to observe the transformation process. Witnessing the expansion and opening of their hearts is extraordinary.

Yoga takes one deep...if willing. When facilitating a class, I enjoy keeping the rhythm and pace of the practice going....taking the mind out of the experience. Getting practitioners to empty out the head space and enter into the portal of the body, and into the heart is easier when maintaining the pulse and tempo. For many, its a new way to exist in reality. Its a whole new way of being. Not really something that is expressed readily in our culture. Interesting. I have struggles with this from time to time. When reminding students, it becomes a reminder to myself...

Today I had a student come up to me and tell me she had something to share regarding her practice. I was bit apprehensive at first...you know we all have insecurities as teachers at times...not sure what will be expressed. One reason I felt this way was because she was one of the students who never really had much to say before or after class...which is fine...and many times when cuing she would do her own thing from time to time. I let go of that, but I often wondered if she enjoyed the practice. However, she had continued to show up, and in the beginning I like to give practitioners space to explore and be as much as possible. Anyway, she went on to tell me that when sitting in Padmasana...breathing our last 10 conscious breaths, she felt a strong connection to a greater energy...a bigger energy than herself...and she told me that she had the awareness that thoughts were meaningless. Just from observing her while she talked I saw an openness...a blossoming that I hadn't seen before. I've always felt the last 3 postures in finishing sequence to be some of the richest...and I enjoy breathing and counting with the class during the 10 breaths to assist in keeping everyone present. I continued to listen to her expressing this new found awareness...not putting my 2 cents in...for why should I? Why should I put my own identifications on her...tarnishing her own experience and opening.

To listen to a student's experience such as this is special. More so than one being able to finally jump through...or to complete a bind in Mari D, or Suptakonosana. When a practitioner immerses themselves into Tristana, and surrenders to it...wow...what beauty shines through!

Surrender has been a big theme for me in the last several months. Recently, I was talking to a former student, who has become a mentor...for she's over twice my age and has such rich life experience. She was telling me that it doesn't matter...to what or to who...just allow yourself to surrender...surrender...surrender! She went on saying that if she could sum up the writings of the Bhagavad Gita into one word...it would be SURRENDER. Ahhhh. Yes.

Its a challenge at times...surrender. But when we finally stop resisting, and loosen our grip...grace can finally flow.