Sacred Ritual

“Fear is the question. Love is the answer.”

(Rain Bojangles)

Sacred ritual. A time of offering, a handing over, an alignment to a greater/larger power, in our daily practices. A practice that has continued to nourish me beyond what is comprehensible. As it should be. Going beyond the realities of time and space. Going beyond what is outside and taking me deep to the universe that resides within.

The daily showing up to the mat has taken me to a place of grander discovery to my surprise. No more is it about accomplishment. Somehow it's developed into a sacred place. It's become a sacred ritual of inner to outer connection. As I connect within, my physical body comes alive, fueled by conscious breath to conscious breath. Every movement has meaning. The turn of my foot. The bend of my knee. The gaze to my big toe has just of a significance as twisting, lifting, and jumping. All of it. Every bit of it, becomes scared, and in that, I loose sense of me, and become one with the movement, the breath, the experience.

Ahh. It's THAT, that brings me back. Every morning.

Process

“Do not seek the because - in love there is no because, no reason, no explanation, no solutions.”

(Anais Nin)

Process. I had a new practitioner of the practice tell me they were tired of being a process. This was after a highly emotional breakdown/breakthrough. It never ceases to amaze how through the practice of yoga layers start to dismantle. I've seen it time and time again. It isn't always necessary one go through a massive emotional upheaval, but sometimes it does happen. Sometimes it's necessary. Sometimes we need to feel something for once in our lives instead of numbing, running, hiding, deflecting those dark places within us.

After I heard this, I asked what they meant by being tired of being a process, even though I already felt every bit of what they meant by it. Because, I've been there. Oh my, I've soooo been there. I've felt this. Sometimes still do. But, yeah, I totally understood what the meaning behind it was.

The feeling of being a process. The process of becoming. Becoming what? It. That. That thing. That place that is just beyond grasp. Ugh. Then will I find happiness?

It's easy to fall into this space. Thinking there is some type of salvation to work toward. When really, salvation lives in every single moment. Each moment culminating into profound awareness if only we stop resisting what is. Sounds so completely simple. And is. However, to put into practice, daily, moment to moment, requires a fair amount of letting go. Which happened through the emotional release.

Scaling the mountain of perfection is an endless climb. The ego feeds on this energy. The energy of continual dissatisfaction for what is right in front of our faces. We climb. We reach. Thinking fulfillment is 'out there' somewhere.

On the flip side, it doesn't mean apathy. Not caring. Never desiring. But, a little thing I've learned along the way is the importance of embracing the imperfections. Embrace that our hearts will get broken. Embrace the rejection. Embrace what we feel for God's sake! Embrace those dark places. When we open to who we are NOT rather than push it away, we start to feel who it is we ARE. As we embrace everything, we can use it as fuel to further understand.

Embrace meaning to be present.

As I further listened. I really had no words to speak of. For, how do you illustrate to someone that this too will pass, and to be cut open as such will lead one where they need to go even though it feels uncomfortable?

I've never been the best at giving advice because often I feel as if I'm bumbling along in life, figuring it out as I go along. However, I will say, I've started to soften with time versus harden. I don't want this life to make me hard. I don't want to shut down. I don't want to live feeling like I have to build a fence around me exuding the need to build on to my exterior. Yes, it leaves me more vulnerable, but through it all, I've learned this is a strength.

Love is the strongest power of all. It's a softening, yielding energy. Such a strong amount of trust it takes. I trust a little more everyday ... and oh, how I soften. A settling into. A settling into my own being.

It never matters if we get knocked down. It's in the getting up where we find what we are made of.

KPJ & Richard Freeman

Pranayama Chant with Sri K. Pattabhi Jois and Richard Freeman

Change

“When I die I will soar with angels & when I die to the angels, what I shall become you cannot imagine.”

(Rumi)

Upcoming changes are on the horizon. It's been a low laying last few months. I've had the opportunity to renew, retouch, rediscover, and reclaim places within myself. Important places of knowing, trusting and releasing.

Ha. I'm being pretty vague.

No matter. The past several months have been invaluable. I mean, sometimes you have to stop. Simply stop. Stop doing. Stop. Listen. Understand. Get in touch with what's wanting to emerge. When I flit about, and distract myself, I find that I've only run in circles.

You have to jump. Make a big 'ol leap of faith. As sentimental as it sounds, it's true. Jump off the merry go 'round, everyone seems so fond of riding. Those unknown places have forced me to trust what will be, will be, and the quest for seeking control is forever fruitless.

Over the years I've had to face head on my own self-doubt. A debilitating mind disease that always made me question what was truly in my heart, when I already knew the answer. Before, I would have stopped and wondered - what will others think? Now, I've realized that the quest to satisfy that question has lead me nowhere, to now here. Here. To finally have the courage to tread the quest of my heart's fulfillment.

One thing I've learned in choosing this way is it isn't the easiest path to take. But somehow, by some miracle, I don't feel as alone as I did before. I'm not even entirely sure how that happened. But it did. By some divine Grace, by choosing to walk forward, even when scared, a crack of light would open. Just the slightest bit. This I am grateful for. It's a choice. I can choose to focus on the crack of light, or the darkness that surrounds me.

Alone. Yes. An ache, I've felt for as long, and for as young as I can remember. Even when I had many around me. Not sure why, but it was something that left me standing in vast darkness during the highs, and the lows.

We all know change is inevitable, at least in this reality, and I'm left asking myself ...

Can I maintain peace, and heartfelt connection in times of change, elation and turmoil?

This place of peace is becoming the utmost important space to be. No matter what.

I'm learning. Slowly, slowly ... learning.

Coffee Enema. Who Knew?

"Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free."

(Jim Morrison)

Ok. So I guess I'm going there. The coffee enema. Geez ...

The first I heard of such a thing was many years ago. Yes, I heard Janet Jackson did them. Yes, I thought it a bit strange and overzealous. Well now, I've treaded down various paths and certain things just don't seem all that strange to me. It's all about having an open mind.

After doing a far amount of research on my own, I found that coffee enemas have been around for hundreds of years. There are many different kinds of enemas one can partake in, and the coffee enema in particular has the ability to aid the liver and detoxify the body.

Coffee enema's have also been successfully used for cancer patients as an adjunct treatment. Dr. Max Gerson, M.D. popularized this form of therapy using the coffee enema along with special diet, juices, and supplements with excellent results in the early 1900s.

Further benefits include enhanced elimination of toxins through the liver, increased bile output, and improved digestion to name a few.

I won't go any more further, but nonetheless, it's interesting. Not sure if anyone out there has experience with doing them, but if so, I would love to hear form you!!!

The Coffee Enema

Cleanse Recovery

"This is love: To fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall every moment, to let go."

(Rumi)

All done with my first liver/gallbladder cleanse! Hooray! All in all, it wasn't bad, and fairly painless. Actually there was no pain, except for the nausea I experienced last evening, which my two other friends did not experience.

Continuing from yesterday, after taking my second dose of Epsom salts, in the morning, things really started to flow ... and Violà! ... stones were released! It's amazing, lol. Most were very, very small, and the biggest ones I could see were pea sized. See the above picture. I placed a quarter next to two stones I recovered so one can see the relative size of the things. I expelled anywhere from 50 to 100 of these little guys, to my best estimate. Absolutely, painless.

The color of the stones expelled tell a story of there own. Dark green ones, are the oldest, and tan stones are usually the newest. One friend of mine had bright orange ones!!!

All in all, I'm extremely glad I did the cleanse, and feel an overall sense of well-being from doing so. The best way I can describe it is, it feels like a strong release. Obviously. Much was released. I feel as if my skin is glowing!

Again, I can't say it enough, the book we followed for the cleanse gave us a wealth of information. We followed what the author suggested to the letter. He clearly laid everything out for one to easily understand, and follow.

The book: The Liver and Gallbladder Miracle Cleanse, by Andreas Moritz

He does recommend repeating the cleanse anywhere from 3 week to 1 month intervals until no further stones come out. When a cycle of stones are expelled, the ones in the back move to the front. And, the number of times one needs to repeat, all depends on one's diet history/health and such. I'm not sure when I will repeat, however I do see the benefit in adding this into one's health maintenance regimen.

After getting over the hump of doing it my first time, it really wasn't as bad as I imagined. Through my own yoga practice over the years, I've come into a strong sense of my body's intelligence, an intuitive sense, if you will, and though it may seem strange to those on the outside, I feel as if I'm on the right track ... and, I couldn't feel better about it.

What a liberating feeling. I feel wonderful!! Yipeeee!

Liver/Gallbladder Cleanse Day 6

"In the universe, there are things that are known, and things that are unknown, and in between, there are doors."

(William Blake)

Cleansing day. My side effects were a bit different than my counterparts. Not sure why that is, but you know, different strokes for different folks, lol.

Had the last liter of apple juice with a twist of apple cider vinegar, in which are supposed to help further soften the stones.

Ate a light breakfast, of plain porridge with soy milk.. On the last day, no sweeteners or oils are to be used for the two meals allotted. For my second meal, brown basmati rice with mixed vegetables of tomatoe, zucchini, and shitake mushrooms. Yum!

Right before the cleansing procedures another enema is recommended so when the stones release, there is nothing in the colon to obstruct the flow. This time, I did a plain water enema using steam distilled water.

In the evening is when the first round of Epsom salts are ingested. Four tablespoons of Epsom salts (magnesium sulfate) added to a total of 24 ounces (three 8 oz. glasses) of filtered water in a jar. This makes four 6-oz servings. This is where I took my first, 6-oz serving. Yeah, it doesn't taste good, and I even used a straw to help ease my taste buds, haha. However, it wasn't too bad, and the serving sizes were doable. The main actions of Epsom salt are to dilate the bile ducts, making it easy for the stones to pass. In addition, the salts clear waste that obstruct the release of the gallstones.

Two hours later, I consumed my second serving of Epsom salts. Compared to my counterparts, I had the strongest laxative effect taking the solution. I was constantly running to the bathroom!!! It was unbelievable. Let me just say I was in the flow, lol.

Another two hours later, time for the grapefruit/olive oil concoction! Obviously, there's prep time, so it's good to have it ready to take two hours from the 2nd serving of Epsom salts. To my surprise, ingesting the grapefruit juice/olive oil mixture, with a twist of lime, for taste, wasn't all that bad to take down. I was expecting this to be the worst part. The important step when taking the solution is to drink it within 5 minutes, next to your already prepared bed, and LIE DOWN IMMEDIATELY, when finished. This is the essential part to the release of gallstones. It's highly recommended to lie on your back or right side only, and fall asleep.

The worst part for me was the nausea I experienced throughout the night. This was due to the sudden outpouring of gallstones and toxins from the liver, and gallbladder. Personally, I had waves of nausea, and weakness, at the same time, that didn't feel all that great. It wasn't the most comfortable feeling, but knowing I was doing myself some good, kept me going. Eventually, the nausea passed ...

All considering, I slept lightly ...

Next morning, I took the 3rd serving of Epsom salts. Once assimilated into the system, this is where one can expect the expelling of gallstones.

More on what I found later ...Yikes!

:-)

Sitting Postures - Primary Series

Blog Action Day

Liver/Gallbladder Cleanse Day 5

"Re-examine all that you have been told… dismiss that which insults your soul."

(Walt Whitman)

Continuing to eat my vegan meals, drink my apple juice, and fa la la ... it's been easy going. Although, I did receive some unusual sensations in my liver/gallbladder area. It wasn't painful, but it didn't really feel great either. Kinda like a throbbing sensation that lasted for maybe 15 minutes or so, and passed.

Tomorrow, will be the big day of consuming the Epsom salt mixture, along with the grapefruit juice, olive oil concoction. I'm not really looking forward to all that, but it must be done!

Hopefully all goes well ...

Liver/Gallbladder Cleanse Day 4

"Hell is not punishment, it’s training."

(Shunryu Suzuki)

Another day, and cravings have subsided. Another coffee enema. I will be writing more on that soon. Once I get around to it. However, I will say, that my second time around didn't go so well as the first. Holding for 15 minutes proves to be challenging. Maybe, my first time was beginners luck. Dumb luck, lol.

I'm feeling pretty good, despite the fact that it's been nothing but rain, clouds, and chilly temps for I don't know how long. Kinda dampens the mood a bit, but nonetheless, I'm staying positive.

It's been fun treading this journey with my two other cleansing mates. We swap notes, and experiences, and it feel more encouraging than to go at it alone, especially for the first time.

"Look for the flame of good in everyone, fan that flame into a fire, which by it's very nature will burn away all impurities."

(Markus Rothkranz)

Day 3 Liver/Gallbadder Cleanse

"That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world… happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria."

(Calvin and Hobbes)

Day 3, preparing for the cleanse, and it's all good ... so far. Still eating a vegan diet, and I find myself craving cheese, of course. Mostly because it isn't recommended during the preparation phase, and in natural fashion, I'm wanting what I can't have, lol. However, I'm broaching the idea of giving it up all together. I've already noticed how much brighter my skin looks, and the doctor who over saw my panchakarma cleanse seemed to think it wasn't all that good for me, personally.

Although, I've learned it isn't always a good idea to focus on what I can't have, and take the focus on adding as many wholesome, healthy, organic foods into my diet, along other preventative regimens, and things that no longer suit me have a way of naturally falling away on their own. Better to add in good things so they crowd out the bad, and no struggle is to be had.

Day 2 Liver/Gallbaldder Cleanse

"The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go."

(Dr. Seuss)

One thing I haven't made completely clear regarding the cleanse is that all 6 days are really the preparation for the actual cleanse which takes place on the last day. Day 6. So, the prep includes, like I've said before, drinking 1 liter of apple juice everyday, eating a vegan diet, and properly cleansing the colon. The book offers several choices when it comes to colon cleansing, and I opted for the coffee enema. To my disbelief, I was amazed at the list of benefits and healing properties coffee enemas entailed. There is an abundance of information and testimonials on the therapy it's self.

But, what about actually doing it? Well ...

With it being my first time, it wasn't all that bad, and fairly simple. The challenging part came when retaining the 2 quart coffee mixture. Mixture meaning, you brew the coffee, like normal, using only pure water, steam distilled being best, and of course only preparing organic coffee. The optimal retention time is at least 15 minutes, and I was struggling a bit those last few, because of the slight cramping. Thank goodness for yoga practice, because consciously breathing helped.

Afterward? Once everything was evacuated I felt great. There really is something to it, and I'll be curious to see how I feel tomorrow.

I'll be posting more info I found regarding the process of coffee enemas.

Cheers!

Day 1 Liver/Gallbladder Cleanse

"Logic will get you from A to Z; imagination will get you everywhere."

(Albert Einstein)

Drank my liter of organic apple juice, and well, it really did it's work. Andreas Moritz, author of The Liver and Gallbladder Miracle Cleanse, states that the apple juice has a strong cleansing effect. In some cases, which happened to me, stagnant bile is released by the liver and gallbladder. The fermenting effect of the juice widen the bile ducts, and Violà! There you go ...

My first thought was ... "What's a bit of apple juice gonna do?" Well, it didn't take long for it to do what it was supposed to do, lol.

Tomorrow ... drum roll, please ... the coffee enema. More on that later. I can't believe I'm about to blog about this, lol. Good times.

Embarking on a Liver and Gallbladder Cleanse

"We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit."

(ee. cummings)

(Click on book for information)

Yup. Tomorrow will the start of my Liver and Gallbladder cleanse. Thankfully, I won't be doing this on my own, but with the support of two other fellow participants. Doing stuff like this with others simply helps, especially if it's for the first time.

Why? Well, there are many reasons why to do it. For one, it has been over six months since I embarked on my very first panchakarma experience. Which, by the way, I highly, highly recommend, I can't say it enough. I felt even months afterward, like my body was recalibrating to a state of continual balance. A wonderful feeling.

Two, I'm a big believer in taking preventive measures when it comes to health, and health maintenance. Anyone who knows me, and knows me well, knows that I look to the cause and not to the effect. Simply treating symptoms has proven itself to be a failure, time and time, again in the West. Being, a former pharmaceutical rep (ugh. I hate to admit, lol), and talking to hundreds of doctors, and sitting in their offices full of patients, clearly were never places of ultimate healing and rejuvenation. Of course, these are only my opinions, and observations during the years and I'm in no way knocking the profession of medicine. However, I feel like we only get one tiny aspect of what it means to live a healthy existence. I guess what I'm trying to say is it's important for me to run on all cylinders versus just hanging by a thread.

Three, well, it all comes down to the liver and the startling formation of gallstones that form there due to the nature of our diet. After some research, and learning about how important the functions of the liver are, it seems quite crazy NOT to do the cleanse. Simply put, I don't want gallstones in my body.

Benefits? Well one can expect a whole host of benefits through cleansing the liver, such as improved digestive and metabolic functions. Increased mental clarity, vitality, and energy. Clearer skin. Reversal of premature aging. Freedom from pain. Hormonal balance ...

The list goes on, and on ...

The protocol begins with drinking one liter of organic apple juice for 6 days. This helps to soften the stones via the malic acid contained in the apple juice. Not too shabby. However, the fun part comes in during the 6 day when a concoction of Epsom salts and filtered water, along with a grapefruit juice, olive oil mixture are ingested. I'll be posting more of the details during the actual day.

This should be interesting.

Where The Wild Things Are

Ah. I so remember this book as a kid.

Tie Your Heart at Night to Mine

Tie your heart at night to mine, love,
and both will defeat the darkness
like twin drums beating in the forest
against the heavy wall of wet leaves.

Night crossing: black coal of dream
that cuts the thread of earthly orbs
with the punctuality of a headlong train
that pulls cold stone and shadow endlessly.

Love, because of it, tie me to a purer movement,
to the grip on life that beats in your breast,
with the wings of a submerged swan,

So that our dream might reply
to the sky’s questioning stars
with one key, one door closed to shadow.

(Pablo Neruda)