She's Alive

The Power of Micro Finance!

Recently, I've been asked to be part of the Yoga Gives Back organization serving as Regional Representative in Sweden. I'm sincerely honored and humbled to align myself with the powerful work YGB supports in uplifting the lives of those stricken with paralyzing poverty in India. In the future, I'll be posting more information and videos centered around the great work being done. There's nothing better than paying forward all the blessings bestowed through the practice of yoga. Truly!

Above, is a video highlighting the beauty of micro-finance from the man who started it all, Nobel Peace Prize recipient, Dr. Muhammad Yunus.

Now, through the inspiring vision of Kayoko Mitsumatsu, the president of Yoga Gives Back, she has expanded this vision to the woman of India inspiring those who practice yoga to be involved.

For more information, please visit, www.yogagivesback.org. 

Hello There

"The task of all tasks is to transform what is insignificant into greatness, what is inconspicuous into radiance; to present a speck of dust in a way that shows it to be part of the whole so that one cannot see it without also instantly seeing all of the stars and the heavens’ deep coherence to which it intimately belongs."      - Rilke

Ahhhh. I'm slowly breaking into blogging regularly again. Feels nice. Hard to believe I've been living in Sweden for over a year and a half now. Will be two years in mid-November. Although, much of that time I've traveled outside Sweden. In many regards it feels natural being here. I mean, Swedes are quite normal down to earth people.  Culturally, it hasn't been all that challenging to flow with life here. It's a progressive country. Stockholm is clean and livable, with a big, little city feel.  The winters haven't scared me off too significantly. I've made quite a few friends who are living here as foreigners and we often joke that the ones who complain the most about the weather are the Swedes themselves! Funny how the amnesia sets in, because winter feels like a distant memory. Summers in Sweden are stunning. I feel no need to be anywhere else this time of year. 


What's been keeping me busy is the start of a new Mysore program. I've done this before knowing it takes an abundance of time and energy in the beginning. With that, I've been battling fatigue. Kinda started since India. I brought home parasites. Had to do a cleanse to take care of that. Think it addressed some issues with my diet. So, I've been tweaking in that area. Looks like I'm low on iron, hence the fatigue. It's been low grade in that I've been able to still practice, teach and work. However, it just made it more challenging. 


Added a few things to the diet which have seemed to really help. Sometimes you can be so deficient it takes a while to simply get back up to equal footing. I've come to a point where I don't want to be defined by diet or labeled as being something that pertains to what I eat, such as vegan, or vegetarian. Does that mean I eat mostly vegetarian? Well, yes. Often vegan. However, I never want to restrict myself into a box. Whole, organic foods are where it's at. Knowing where your food comes from is extremely important. Connecting with farmers who use best practices in their methods is another necessary element. With that being said, I've added a daily supplementation of krill oil (non-vegetarian, obviously), and it's been amazing. Great for muscle recovery. Gonna give this ago for a while, since, like I said before, been deficient in a few areas. I'm very thankful for the krill. Hard to believe those little guys are food for most whales - our biggest mammals on earth. If so inclined, google krill oil and see what you find. There's loads of good information. 


Also been experimenting with taking coconut oil. Working my way up to 3 heaping tablespoons daily, maybe 4. Wow. It's amazing stuff. I've always known about the wonders of coconut oil, but never committed to making it a mainstay to my diet. I can really tell the difference, and looking forward to observing the long term effects. What I didn't know beforehand was that ingesting it helps to prevent and  kill parasites. Something I will have to remember during my next trip to India. Coconuts are in abundance in Mysore. Duh. I was always slathering the oil all over my body, drinking coconut water, but never consuming the oil. The missing link! 


Besides yoga, learning about nutrition and longevity are hobbies of mine. I can't seem to help it. Been tuning into some ground breaking information in regards to this. I like to experiment and see how things affect me (within reason). For one, there is so much misinformation out there. Going mainstream is definitely a no, no. To many agendas. Most importantly, I've continued to have an open mind in regards to it all, while releasing belief systems and labels. In doing that, I've felt tons better. It's all about balance. It's all about listening, too. Most people are so disengaged from their own bodies, anxious, or even trying to mold themselves into something they are not, that they don't even give themselves the opportunity to listen to their own intuitive guidance. Like one Ayurvedic doctor told me, "if you make eating an issue, it will be an issue. It's not a problem. Listen to what your body needs, and most importantly chew your food thoroughly!" Hahaha. I like that last part. Eating low on the food chain as much as possible is another no brainer.

It's amazing how the world is viewed in brighter color when feeling more energized. Whoo-hoo! Also, my boyfriend has made the point that acclimating to a new environment/culture/life can also attribute to the wind being taken out of my sails from time to time. I can see his point. Even positive stress, is still stress. Takes awhile to adjust. My little brain cells are being rewired constantly especially with the language. It's amusing how when I hear English it seems to come into my awareness at full volume. When I hear Swedish it pulls back into the background. Not really the best habit I've adopted. The language thing is moving at a snail's pace. I'm definitely the turtle, not the hare, in this little scenario. Hahaha. 


I've got some good things to look forward too. Like, my sister coming to visit with her family in a little over a week. Selfishly, I can't wait to tickle my little niece. She's the cutest. Should be fun. Stockholm is a great city to show off. During that time Yogayama, the studio that hosts the Mysore program, will be taking a two week break. I wasn't too privy to this idea, but it's the European way! Taking time off. My American mind is wired so differently. But it's great, Swedes see the importance in the quality of life. When students tell me they'll be going on vacation, I'm be like, great, I'll see you in a week or two. No, no, no, it's more like 5 weeks. It's the most natural thing in the world. 

"To love and to be love is to feel the Sun on both sides." -David Viscott

Tea vs. Coffee

Peter Sanson

Embarrassingly, I've been really behind on my postings. There's been plenty to talk about, write about, complain about, whatever, but I just haven't had the focus or inclination to sit still long enough. Blah. Yeah, I've been nagging about this for sometime now. I'm beginning to sound like a broken record. Repeat. Repeat. At any rate, I might as well get some of you out there, that is, if you are STILL out there, an update on what I've been up too.

Granted it's early July, but let's rewind back to early May. When I had the pleasure of practicing with Peter Sanson, one of the few Certified Ashtanga yoga teachers, for the second time (pictured above). Can you believe he'll be 50 next year! Amazing. I won't go on and on with accolades, but truly, Peter Sanson is one of the best. Radically humble, unassuming, totally focused. It seems to me the better the teacher, the worse their online presence is! I was actually talking to a colleague about this. You just can't seem to find much about Peter online. He doesn't participate in marketing and all that, not that it's bad, but well, when you meet him you truly feel his heartfelt sincerity in regards to his time with Guruji and what it means, down to the very core, to do this practice daily. I just can't say it enough how essential he is to the greater Ashtangi community. The simplicity of his message speaks loud and clear. BREATHE. Relax. Let the breath and movement be your guide. Be aware of what arises in that. That is the practice. That's the yoga.

As a person he beams. He's grounded. He's just real. No airs at all. I think that is what makes him exemplary. He's just damn normal. Thank God! When you practice under his guidance it's ultimately about you, not him, and guiding you through the integrity of the practice in a way that softens the practitioner, not hardens. He has a real gift in that. It's all about quality, not quantity. Not how far, but how deep.

I had to jump at the chance to practice with him when the opportunity arose in that my practice life is solitary. Yes. I'm a home practitioner and have been for a LONG time. Working with an experienced practitioner/teacher such as Peter is invaluable. Simply being in the presence of it is enough.

Peter's stories in regards to his encounters with Guruji are truly special. Often he was the only Westerner practicing in the shala among a sprinkling of Indian practitioners. His life for over 20 years entailed of annual, extended trips to Mysore to practice with his teacher. It's an inspiring story, and one I don't want to spoil or taint with my own words. It's his story to share, and one worth hearing.

Thank you, Peter (though a little bit late!)

No App for Happiness

This video is a bit lengthy, but I great talk nonetheless. Check it out. 

Tim Miller & The Yoga Sutras

I have such a fondness for Tim Miller otherwise known as Timiji. He has a way of interpreting the Yoga Sutras in tangible, meaningful bites that we can all relate to. Love you Tim!!! 

Karma: a novel

"The rape, the unpredictability of the drugs, the thirst, starvation, and isolation had to be a method to break me,. I tried to remain strong emotionally, and tired to encourage myself. I tried to adhere to the main objective of staying alive. I replaced the tape on the window, and then dealt with the darkness." (excerpt from Karma, by Nacy Deville)

This is a book that's extremely hard to talk about, but is one that has rocked me to my very core. Even though a fiction it isn't faraway from the truth when it comes to the plight of those who find themselves trapped in the world of human trafficking. Hard to believe this STILL goes on in this day and age. Affirms that we have a long way to go in this world. I finished this book several weeks ago and it still haunts me to this day. The reason? Well for one, the author doesn't hold back. Not at all. She lays it all out, and well, some of the scenes in the book were hard to take. The book centers around a woman being abducted and forced into this dark underground world. A few times I had to put it down and take a break. Nonetheless, I got through it and glad I did. Read it. I really can't say more. If anything, it will raise your awareness around human trafficking. We can no longer live in a world where it is accepted to use living beings, human or otherwise, as a commodity for our own selfish needs. 

For What Binds Us

There are names for what binds us:
strong forces, weak forces.
Look around, you can see them:
the skin that forms in a half-empty cup,
nails rusting into the places they join,
joints dovetailed on their own weight.
The way things stay so solidly
wherever they've been set down --
and gravity, scientists say, is weak.

 

And see how the flesh grows back
across a wound, with a great vehemence,
more strong
than the simple, untested surface before.
There's a name for it on horses,
when it comes back darker and raised: proud flesh,

 

as all flesh
is proud of its wounds, wears them
as honors given out after battle,
small triumphs pinned to the chest --

And when two people have loved each other
see how it is like a
scar between their bodies,
stronger, darker, and proud;
how the black cord makes of them a single fabric
that nothing can tear or mend.

 

 - Jane Hirschfield -

 

(Of Gravity & Angels)

 

Sharing

Do I bore you with my poetry? Haha. Sorry, but over the past several years I've become a fan. Can't say I've always been one, but for some reason it happened. The following poem a dear friend sent to me. I love that. Thank you, E! 

I've been feeling multitudes lately. I don't understand why I waver between utter confusion and knowing at the same time. The month of June has brought with it an abundance of light. I've been taking pictures again! Yay! Then again, I've been feeling this weight bearing down on me, not sure what or why it is there. Since being busy I've abandoned my stream of conscious writing. Feel the need to pick it up again. Haven't been sleeping well. Strange that it is light when I go to bed and light again when I wake up. I don't know if I will ever get used to this! However, surviving winter in Sweden comes with its reward, the Spring and Summer. Absolutely beautiful, really. 

My mind has been more active than normal. A bit unsettling. With that, I feel better equipped. Observing the rise and fall of my thought patterns. Even in the mist of news that pulls the rug from under me I am able to reside into some type of inner calmness. Amazing how that happens. Then again, I can say that now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring. I just might flip out, haha. Anyway, more later. Enjoy the poem. 

The Faces at Braga

In monastery darkness

by the light of one flashlight

the old shrine room waits in silence

While above the door

we see the terrible figure,

fierce eyes demanding, "Will you step through?"

And the old monk leads us,

bent back nudging blackness

prayer beads in the hand that beckons.

We light the butter lamps

and bow, eyes blinking in the

pungent smoke, look up without a word,

see faces in meditation,

a hundred faces carved above,

eye lines wrinkled in the hand held light.

Such love in solid wood!

Taken from the hillsides and carved in silence

they have the vibrant stillness of those who made them.

Engulfed by the past

they have been neglected, but through

smoke and darkness they are like the flowers

we have seen growing

through the dust of eroded slopes,

then slowly opening faces turned toward the mountain.

Carved in devotion

their eyes have softened through age

and their mouths curve through delight of the carver's hand.

If only our own faces

would allow the invisible carver's hand

to bring the deep grain of love to the surface.

If only we knew

as the carver knew, how the flaws

in the wood led his searching chisel to the very core,

we would smile, too

and not need faces immobilized

by fear and the weight of things undone.

When we fight with our failing

we ignore the entrance to the shrine itself

and wrestle with the guardian, fierce figure on the side of good.

And as we fight

our eyes are hooded with grief

and our mouths are dry with pain.

If only we could give ourselves

to the blows of the carver's hands,

the lines in our faces would be the trace lines of rivers

feeding the sea

where voices meet, praising the features

of the mountain and the cloud and the sky.

Our faces would fall away

until we, growing younger toward death

every day, would gather all our flaws in celebration

to merge with them perfectly,

impossibly, wedded to our essence,

full of silence from the carver's hands.

(David Whyte, Where Many Rivers Meet)

Climb

"Silence is beautiful, not awkward. The human tendency to be afraid of something beautiful is awkward."   - Elliot Kay

Sometimes the climb is overwhelming. I've felt it on many occasions. Finding myself in a deep hole wondering how in the hell will I manage to climb myself out of this one? The past several years since starting this blog have brought immense change and experience, and at the same time, a thread of knowing that has always stayed with me. A constant. If there is one thing the practice of yoga has brought to my life is a sustained connection to that constant. To the fluctuations of my own mind, to the constant change and contrast of my external life. Settling into the highs and the lows have instilled that the pulse of life is ever changing, morphing, expanding, contracting. That is the one thing I can come to expect. But, is it not true that the more things change, the more things stay the same? Gosh, it's all paradox.

Lately, I've been contemplating my own mortality. Morbid I know, hahaha, but for some reason it has popped into my consciousness. Reflecting on the fragility of life. This sense has compelled me to stop wasting time on trivial things. Essentially, we always have the answers, trusting it is another story. To my amazement that wisdom is always there . . . waiting. I mean, wow, in my case it has taken eternal patience, hahaha. No kidding.

I can't say much has come easy for me. Arduous could be a word for it. But often, I realize much of the limitations have been bound in my own mind. Those chains seems to be coming loose in time. It's a nice feeling. To feel settled inside myself. Not totally there, but deeper nonetheless.

Each little step doesn't have to be in vain. Each step brings me closer in. Each step reveals something new. It's that that makes it interesting. Who knows what will be inside the package once I remove all the covering, that's the best part! In the meantime, I can savour each part of the process. 

Ashtanga Yoga Unlimited

(source)

“The quickest way to still the mind is to move the body”  (Gabrielle Roth)


It's already been a challenge keeping up with blog posts lately, so naturally I started another blog, hahaha. Naturally. Why? Well, as you know I've started a new Mysore program from scratch here in Stockholm. This being the third Mysore program I've been a part of. Going in, I new it would be an undertaking that would take a fair amount of work and energy. The good kind of hard work. Teaching at this level can be harder on the body, especially when keeping up my own daily practice. With more physicality to endure the first few months have felt like some type of high level athletic training, and really it's all mental. Getting up extra early adds to the whole meaning of tapas. My word. Another form of mental training, really. I don't use it as a badge of honor. It only highlights what discipline can add to life. With discipline comes freedom. Crazy? Yes, at times it feels like that. But on a simpler level it's just a new habit being formed. Nothing is being taken anything away, it's adding to.  


So, the other blog. Well, I've launched another blog centered around the practice of Ashtanga yoga and the Mysore program I am facilitating at Yogayama. This blog, Peaceloveyoga, will continue. I'll be carrying forward posting on yoga per usual on a personal level regarding my own experiences with practice, insights, and thoughts. You know, things I debate and contemplate. I've got an active mind. if you couldn't tell already. It's like a mine field, haha. Stay tuned. 


The new blog, Ashtanga Yoga Unlimited, will be centered around Ashtanga yoga, practice, teaching, philosophy, and theory, all supporting the community of Mysore practitioners in Stockholm and extending out worldwide. Interested? Please visit if you feel so inclined. We have some interesting projects and ideas in the pipeline for the future. When the creative juices start to flow it's best go with it. Fun. Fun. Sharing this practice has been beyond rewarding. It's all about community at the end of the day. Already I've started to see people transform. Shed. Come alive. I can't say it enough how powerful this practice is. So in that way as we connect to ourselves, I'd like to put energy toward connecting together, as people, as practitioners, to all on the path of discovery. 


Namasté

Guruji

Guruji is the coolest. Marking the 2nd year anniversary of his passing I am once again filled with gratitude for all that he gave, for all that he was. He was simply doing what he loved. Living what he was passionate about. What came of it is beyond remarkable.

Thank you Guruji! 

Transparency

Being in the yoga world, so to speak, comes with a fair amount of interesting baggage. And, when I say yoga world, I am referring to the modern interpretation of it. I haven't understood why nowadays it is about having the "right" things to say, or a big dose of charisma to establish yourself as a yoga teacher, but not only that, a yoga expert. It's doesn't seem to add up. Techniques and quick fixes into postures don't make an informed yoga teacher, necessarily. But then it goes back to the question, "what is yoga?" What does it mean to practice yoga?  Looks like this topic will have to be summed up in another lengthy blog post. I mean, I don't really have the answer(s) (obviously), but at any rate, they are important questions to ask and to revisit from time to time. Like I find myself doing. I'm weird like that.

The best advice I have ever received when I entered into teaching yoga were two fold. First, teach as a practice in itself, and at the same time, never sacrifice my own practice to teach. What I teach must be a part of my experience, part of my daily practice. It then emanates from and through me. Energetically, I find you can't really fake this one. Maybe for a while, but it doesn't last for long. Two, being transparent to the method/practice I am teaching. Meaning, keep it pure, taking my own judgement/spin off of it. Taking myself out of the equation. Being more concerned with teaching the method correctly than having the desire to be liked and/or approved of. See, being transparent doesn't necessarily mean being devoid and without passion for what is being transmuted. If anything it seems to invoke even more passion and wisdom when it comes to teaching. Emptying myself, being open to allowing the wisdom to work through me is the residual effect from practice and has a way of naturally unfolding. Call it grace, call it what you will. The more I empty, the more the energy and wisdom come through. I loose individuality. I expand into something bigger than myself.

Of course there are days when it is harder to connect than others, but then again, it goes back to looking to teaching as a practice. As time goes the intuitive nature grows. There is an expansion, there is a deepening. The practice of teaching breathes unto itself.

What I have come to understand is I can always take a break from teaching, no problem, and resume it again as long as I continue my own practice. In many ways it is one and the same. You can't learn this stuff in books. You have to walk through the fire daily on your own volition. The experience is the teacher. Books, trainings and the myriad of workshops are the mere 1%. Theory can be talked about until kingdom come, but experience, well, it can only be felt into the reality of who we are. The formless, unspeakable, unexplainable part of who we are. The gateway, conscious breath. The path, breath synchronized movement, vinyasa. We experience yoga. The journey and the destination in union.

I don't understand the need for a stage. Getting the hands dirty is where it's at. Into the nitty gritty of what my students are about and what they are coming to know about themselves. It's about them, not me, and at the end of the day I couldn't be more fulfilled coming from this place of ultimate service. I am learning just as they are. In a way, I come from a place of being a teacher's student when I teach, because I always find myself being a student. A mirror image. A transparency develops between the two relationships. This is where the juice is. In the interdependent relationship that develops within ourselves and how we approach the practice. Between us, our teachers, and the community we find ourself connected to. I find it fascinating. The roles we play seemingly melting into each other. A synergy that speaks louder than words because what we experience is energetic in nature. The unseen reality. Isn't that what we are tapping into anyway?

Healing

"It hurts sometimes when you’re healing. It’s the sensation of your heart growing bigger. It’s the feel of your old scar tissue breaking up and stretching. It’s the tight and fearful knots of emotion opening up and learning to relax. Those old hurts were actually shrinking your heart with tension, the way tightness in the back can curve and distort the spine.

I know it hurts, but you can learn to experience these feelings as intense sensation and simply surrender yourself; trusting that a new and better you will soon emerge. Fear and resistance will increase the pain. Love and acceptance will ease it. Let your Heart open wide. You’ll be opening up more room in your life for love."

— Dorothy Mendoza Row

Let's Go!

"The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers. "      

- Erich Fromm

Above are pics in and around the neighborhood Yogayama resides in, the host of my morning Mysore program. It's been going great thus far. Thank you to all who have joined us from day one, and to those who have yet to come and are planning to! We're waiting! 

Our vision: to build a thriving Ashtanga yoga community.  Let's go!  

Darkness

On a moving train . . .

You, darkness, that I come from

I love you more than all the fires

that fence in the world,

for the fire makes a circle of light for everyone

and then no one outside learns of you.

But the darkness pulls in everything—

shapes and fires, animals and myself,

how easily it gathers them!—

powers and people—

and it is possible a great presence is moving near me.

I have faith in nights.

- Rainer Maria Rilke 

A Message of Hope

A lengthy video who some might think is a bunch of new age mumbo-jumbo. I'm in to it. Especially by what was touched on in regards to the power of our heart centers. Amazing. These are interesting times. No doubt. 

Stockholm Cityscapes

Spring time is such a treat when living in Stockholm. I don't think I could ever tire of it. There is something to surviving the long winter that makes me appreciate this time even more! To one of the most beautiful cities in the world! Bravo. I love you Stockholm! ♥