"The same stream of life that runs through the world runs through my veins night and day in rhythmic measure. It is the same life that shoots in joy through the dust of the earth into numberless waves of flowers."     - Rabindranath Tagore

Over the course of several months I've had episodes of vertigo. It wasn't until this morning when it felt downright unmanageable. I don't want to make mountains out of mole hills. For the most part I feel healthy. I do my best to sustain a healthy lifestyle and diet. Not going too much into one extreme or the other. Admittedly, this month has been challenging on various levels. Disappointments, loss, confusion, just to name a few. When it rains, it pours. A deeper part of myself knows much of these developments when it comes to external stressors have been made worse in my mind. I can become aggravated by too much mental energy. It drains me. For good reason. Probably why yoga practice is such good medicine. I can channel the energy down into the body. I can breathe. I can feel a sense of freedom and abandon as I flow. Taking this off the mat has another set of challenges. I do my best.

With the cold and darkness of November my sensitivities are through the roof. I'm cold constantly. Even when inside. For the first time, I think ever, I am feeling the deep affects of not having enough direct sunlight. I'm not pale (obviously) like most Scandinavians. I need more light. What to do? I have started taking Vitamin D without feeling much of a difference. On some level I know it's doing me good. I think there's a part of me who desires to continue with business as usual, but really, with the change of season, it seems to be calling me to take a step back, and thrill, chill. I'm pretty much being told the old way of being simply isn't working anymore. It's time to make changes. I can feel it on so many levels.

What's that definition of insanity again? Oh yeah, expecting a different result when doing more of the same . . .

Sometimes a loss of focus is just what's needed to get back into focus. It's time to change the internal landscape. I can travel the world a thousand miles over and I will still need to contend with the one, the only, myself. What's the use of talking a good game if not living it? If not inspiring to lead from the heart and acknowledging that, hey, it will be challenging, but why let it get me down?

Being the investigative reporter I am, I did a little thumbing around on vertigo.
"The cause of vertigo is 100% metaphysical! According to Lise Bourbeau, "Vertigo indicates that you perceive a loss in your psychological balance. You feel you've lost your footing or your grasp on what you thought was a balanced life, even though it wasn't meeting your true needs. You may feel anguished about making a decision regarding a new direction and, as a result, your dreams remain unfulfilled. It's possible that you have just experienced a dramatic change in some area of your life that appears not quite balanced and causes you either to feel a temporary imbalance or to have others judge you as unbalanced. You have a difficult time dealing with judgment of others, even if you refuse to acknowledge it."
The mental message being conferred to you by vertigo is that "You are receiving an important message from your body to acknowledge and honor your true needs and alter your notion of what compromises a balanced person and a balanced life. The longer you cling to the fear of being unbalanced, the more likely your life will become so." - Ibid (source)

Well, I could agree on some, if not most, of what it states above. I did have a period of feeling unsettled, not to mention a full blown round of acupuncture and bodywork sessions that brought up some interesting things to contend with to the surface. More on that later. Until then . . . finding balance in the face of change. 

8 Insightful Comments:

susiegb said...

Hey Laruga
Google 'Benign Positional Vertigo'. It might be that which is easily fixable by an odd exercise. I've had episodes of that ... :)

Lu said...

Feel better, Laruga! Perhaps a sun lamp to deal with the dark days of Sweden?

peaceloveyoga said...

Yeah. Sun lamp . . . wonder where I can get one of those? Really, I think I just have a Vata imbalance.

Anonymous said...

Nice blog you have Laruga. Really. I enjoy reading your thoughts. Hope you will learn how to manage with the ultimate darkness of Scandinavian winter. All we can do is just wait until snow white February and March will arrive. The spring and summer will then lighten everything up again. But even I don´t know how to deal really with this blackness, even though I´m a born Scandinavian (from the the neighboring country fron the east).
I wish you all the best. Instead of sun lamp maybe you should try this new innovation:
Listen to the light!!!


peaceloveyoga said...

Nice! Thank you. Now I realize the darkness is just as much of a challenge for the Scandinavians as it is for me! Though, some take it harder than others. :))))) If anything, it challenges me to dig deeper to find my own light, haha. Not always easy. I really should check out these sun lamps. Thank you.

Erwan said...

Hello Teacher! Like you I grew up in a sunnier place but I have got close to 13 years to get used to Swedish winters. And damn, it does not get easier. It may comfort you to hear that it affects me a lot as well, to such an extent that I have had to develop a different lifestyle during the winter. Darkness affects both my body and mind. I get tremendously tired, like my whole body just wants to lay down and hibernate. And my mind tends to fold on itself and cramp in a kind of trance. It wants to escape reality, as if it was mentally holding its breath until light comes back. It helped me to acknowledge that and slow down during those dark months, sleep much more, seek light in any forms and try to not get too caught into whatever my mind happens to be chewing on. Yeah, easy to say ;-) I can't help thinking of how good it will feel in a couple of months! Sending you good vibes!

peaceloveyoga said...

Thanks for commenting Erwan! I am finally understanding that I can't go at the same rate in the darker winter months like I can in the other seasons. I really think I was fighting it on some level. I'm doing my best to honor myself and the season and take it slower, rest more, and make the proper changes to feel balanced. I'm still learning! It's great to hear your perspective. Thanks again. :)

Nancy said...

Hey, Laruga, does the vertigo happen when you're sitting/laying down or only when standing? If the former, I would expect some sort of inner ear problem is the culprit (but I'm no expert). If the latter, you might consider having your B-12 levels checked, especially if you're a vegetarian/vegan. Low B-12 can cause balance problems (and other scary neurological stuff). My mom was having terrible balance (and memory) problems and a simple B-12 shot fixed her right up. Just a thought. Hope you've already solved it!


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