Mystic

When the soul of man is born in this country there are nets flung at it to hold it back from flight. You talk to me of nationality, language, religion. I shall try to fly by those nets.

~ James Joyce

A student was curious as to my religion the other day. When I told her I choose not to align to any one religion. She then said...

Oh. So you're still searching?

"Noooo." I said.

"Oh really? You don't believe in God?" She countered.

"Yes. I believe in God." I answered. Always have.

"Then who is your God?" She asked.

I laughed out loud. "My God? Haha. Our God, don't you think?"

Well, needless to say, I didn't go deeper into the conversation. Didn't feel the need to defend anything, or try to challenge someone else's belief system. However, she was being totally harmless in asking.
No biggie.

The your God, my God mentality is perplexing.

Why do I need religion? Why?

I love how Caroline Myss says religion is the politics of God. Seems as though rules and commandments become more important than Love. Seems as if religion rather we experience Oneness through something or someone, instead of we ourselves having the direct experience. Why not look too where the master is pointing, instead of looking to the master for salvation? I don't mean any offense, but these are the questions that linger.

In many ways, this is why I feel drawn to yoga practice. Yoga allows for the direct experience. Of course, it isn't the only way. And honestly, the yoga path has many trappings in itself. Yes. We yogis have tendency toward attachment to the body. I mean, at some point we have to let that one go. Right? However, it's natural in any circumstance, and continuing with the practice allows for a gradual, if not radical, letting go eventually.

Transcendence.

Yoga is experiential in nature. You must practice. That's it. Any time I find myself debating things that are transitory I remind myself how it always goes back to the practice. Then soon, I find out why keeping my mouth shut is a good idea in regards to the topic of yoga and or anything looked at as "spiritual".

In the end, there is nothing to debate.

Yoga is not a religion in my opinion. Ultimately, it's about the inner discovery. When feeling one with oneself, I find ease in feeling one with others. Simple.

It seems the direct, ecstatic spiritual experience isn't well received in established religion.

Wasn't Jesus a mystic? I don't recall him wanting to form a religion. Was he not teaching the power of love, and the miraculousness of connecting to a higher power? Did he not express that we too could accomplish all that he had and more? A pretty tall order to say the least. However, I don't think he would have spoken those words if they were not true. No?

We'll hold on to the ideas of God, to the death, and yet ignore Truth and Love. Unified. Those who have tasted the Light, or by grace received a glimpse, have no use for structures, while being fulfilled in the world, as an example. Big difference, versus simply talking and preaching.

Guess what I'm trying to say is I've always felt personally drawn to the mystics of many varying traditions. Those who ignited the fire within, blazing down the trail, of what it means to be, utterly and completely, unbound. Free flowing. Not worrying about what that looks like externally to others. Because once the taste of Truth is known, nothing can extinguish what is known to be True, feeling the utter expanse of passionate existence.

Fascinating stuff.

I look to these inspiring masters as examples. As I, in turn, feel deep within. Whether Rumi, St. Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross, or Hafiz, to name a few, there is a commonality they all share. Dogma is set aside. When I read their works of inspiration only the whispers of Truth are there. Universal. No rules. No good this. No bad that. It becomes about allowing. It becomes about joining. Feeling. The experience. Pure and simple. Eternal. Expansive.

When in the vicinity of a mystic, nothing needs to be said. By their presence alone, all things are known. I've experienced this on several occasions, being in their presence. Because pure being can't hold a candle to words. Which in reality, are only symbols. For, how can one explain, or put into words what a taste of pure existence is? Call it God or whatever you like.

So, I've come to an impasse, where I'd rather not label myself as anything. The more I identify with this world, where illusion is supreme, there seems to be more to loose.

What will I loose, you ask?

Well, from my point of view, I will loose touch with the part of myself that is ultimately real. With that being said, it isn't hard to choose. Even though, that in itself, is a challenging path. At least for me it is. But, I'm gradually learning. Gradually discovering and experiencing what that means.

In truth. What could be better than that?

Last Night in Taiwan

"What will they think of me?" --Must be put aside for bliss.

~ Joseph Campbell

I'm about ready to call it a night. So tired. My last night. My very last night in Taiwan, after nearly 6 months. Wow. It went by incredibly fast. Too fast.

Tomorrow, I'm headed for Bangkok, Thailand.

I'm sure you can guess where my next stop will be...

A Reflection

If you want resurrection, you must have crucifixion.

~ Joseph Campbell

I love how Caroline Myss illustrates the important process of reflection, contemplation, discipline, and devotion. Yeah. Its work. But, work well worth the effort. A cycle that brings us back home. I have easily tired of the masks I've thrust upon myself. Can't blame anyone for it. It is my own responsibility to take a hard look and realize the higher calling. There have been times I've denied it. There have been times I looked the other way. However, it takes too much energy to deny what is True.

The past year has broke my heart open on numerous occasions. Too many to count. Having one's heart broken, no matter the cause, is a good thing. Whether it's the parting ways of two who felt deep love, or simply being a witness to an act of kindness. It gives pause to what is real within. Whenever I get caught up in the game of life, I do my best to remember the constant that never changes. Never dies. This is where I will look for guidance. Before, I would look anywhere BUT. Crazy. I know. Hee, hee. I'm learning. Thankfully.

Deep in the madness of life. Thrust in the uncertainty. I anchor myself. As best I can.

Yesterday, I left Gangshan, a small town on the outskirts of Kaoshung, where I have been teaching for the past 5 weeks or so. What a miraculous group. From scratch, we blasted through the trails and tribulations of taking on an Ashtanga yoga practice. They expected alot out of me, and I did the same. Wow. We had many laughs too. Wonderful. Up and a way they flew, as they took hold of this transformational practice. Often, a class that was only allotted for 90 minutes, we would loose track of time, digging deep into the meaning behind it all, with my wonderful interpreter Tony, and easily 3 hours would pass by. How could this possibly be work? I feel blessed! Many times it brought me back to why I'm doing what I'm doing.

It tugged at my heart to leave the students, especially the couple who hosted me, Tony and Katie. What lights! So pure. So simple. In the end, before leaving, I tried to explain to them that the experience, and love extended toward me, was much more than I could have ever asked for. I expressed how honored and privileged I felt. Hahaha. They wouldn't hear of it. They felt they came away with more through the experience. Nope. I don't know how that could be possible. Let's just say we came to a draw. Hahahaha.

It was all I could do not to cry.

I taught them Ashtanga yoga. Little do they know, that they taught me about Love. What a labor of love it was. There is no better kind.

Honestly, I know nothing. Haha. Another great relief! And somehow, it all comes together.

Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.

~ Emerson

Always

Always, always, always, always, always do what you are afraid to do.

~ Emerson

Closing the Gap

Follow your bliss. The heroic life is living the individual adventure.

~ Joseph Campbell

Closing the gap. Yes. The gap. The space that supposedly separates me from another person. An interesting thing to contemplate. No?

As I deepen into something new. Or maybe a better way to say it, is deepening into a new way of perceiving. Viewing. Living. Dunno. What I do know, is the importance that everyday relationships hold. As I connect to my own inner voice, I see how every contact I make is an opportunity to close the gap...so to speak.

Some of my greatest teachers have been those who left me feeling frustrated and hopeless, just as much, as those who have left me feeling a deep sense of awe and inspiration.

In the end, it all starts with what's inside of me. No more. No less. If we are truly one. Then why conceptualize it. Practicing what this oneness means is where the real juice is.

Yeah, of course it's easier said than done. But really, it becomes simple, through simple awareness. Slowing down the reaction time. Maybe not reacting at all. Viewing a situation for clearly what it is, instead of putting it through my own prejudicial filters.

Interesting to say the least.

More and more, I hear the call to begin directly applying the insights and awareness that come about on the mat, into daily life. Why else do it? I mean, what am I trying to build here? Build the ego? Or, build a deeper sense of who I am, and the connection that binds us together? I mean really? What does it come down to? When you strip EVERYTHING down to the basics?

For lack of a better word, something has clicked, but in the same breath I'm still absorbing a great deal.

The experience in Taiwan has been awesome, and exciting. But, not only because I've charted a new territory externally, but also because I've charted new territory internally. Or, I guess it really isn't new at all. Maybe I'm simply waking up to something that has always been there.

Patiently waiting.

Don't Look, Jump

Hit the delete button every time fear appears.

~ Wayne Dyer

I can do that? Just hit delete? SWEET!! Fear is gone.
Love the following quote by Tami Simon on starting Sounds True.
Came across it from Dhrumil. Can definitely relate. Good stuff.

People sometimes ask me if it took courage to start Sounds True. And the answer is no. What did take courage was to leave a situation (Swathmore College) that promised a lot of rewards that were meaningful to other people but not actually meaningful to me. It took courage because I had no idea what would happen or how my life would unfold. I risked losing the respect of my family, and I had no explanation for my actions. I knew I had to leave a situation that felt wrong to me, but I had no idea what would feel right.

~ Tami Simon, Founder of Sounds True

I think about what my yoga practice has brought into my life, and it definitely has allowed me to be more comfortable in uncomfortable situations. I can't say I've always approached uncomfortable situations with a state of grace. Hell no! But, I'm learning, and feel I'm organically headed in that direction. At least let's hope. Hahaha. Pray for me. :)

Nonetheless, and for lack of a better word, it simply takes practice. The more I face my insignificant little fears, and feel the love, it becomes easier to do. The lessons are everywhere. It's an embrace of being total in every situation. Having the courage and knowing that all is as it should be, all the while, walking through it.

The times I've done this, while in it, I felt as if I had lost my mind.

And well, thank God I did.

Let Go. Let it All Go at Once

And when the body starts to let go let it all go at once, not piece by piece, but like a whole bucket of stars dumped into the universe!

~ Sleater Kinney

Letting Go.

My theme for 2008. Hahaha. The theme comes at the end of the year. Guess I'm in a reflective mood.

It's cool though.

I like the analogy of a trapeze artist. You can't reach for the next swing, without letting go of the one you're on first...and...if you miss...big deal...there's always a net to catch, if you fall.

I've entered into something new, where I'm left to ponder... Is this my life? Okay. Sounds strange. But, I don't think I'm the one driving the bus.

Make sense?

There seems to be an intelligence behind everything. And, it feels better to simply line up to that intelligence. Why fight it? There's constant Joy trying to reach. That's why the wise say...Allow.

Allow things to flow.

Simple...no?

Ego likes complication.

When I feel like I've gotta have control, something is amiss. Dunno. Don't have all the answers. Isn't that a relief. The answers seem less and less important. Who cares. They're overrated. Why get hung up on them?

Learning. Practicing. Practicing what I learn. Oh yeah! Laughing. I gotta laugh at it all. But, let me just say. When I do line up. What a fucking release!! And, the craziness of it all...is nothing needed to be done.

NOTHING.

Wow!

'Come to the edge,' He said

They said, 'We are afraid.'

'Come to the edge,' He said

They came.

He pushed them ... and they flew.


~ Guillaume Apollinarie

Which brings me to the edge. I guess part of me has always been a bit edgy. I don't like limitations. I don't like to think within limitations. Dunno. Call me strange.

I guess you can say my yoga practice is a bit edgy. The performance of postures is meaningless. Striving for perfection is boring. Boring. With a capital B.

But, what really gets my juices flowing, is when I come to my edge. Yes. The edge. Then...

I let go.

An energy courses through like nothing I could have imagined or expected. The body. The instrument. Is laid aside. For, who I am is the force behind the movement.

This is who I am. This is real.

I could explode into nothingness...and, it would worth it.

Enthusiasm

Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success. When you do a thing, do it with all your might. Put your whole soul into it. Stamp it with your own personality. Be active, be energetic, be enthusiastic and faithful, and you will accomplish your object. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Enthusiasm. Sometimes, that's all it takes. Mr. Chow, my new friend and acquaintance has taught me all about it. Never have I met someone who exuded enthusiasm so fully, such as him. I'm sure there are others out there. Just haven't met them yet. Anyway, plain and simple, with enthusiasm, it vibrates an energy that, for sure, attracts magnificent things. But not only that, it comes with embracing ALL that is before you. No judgments. No expectations.

Pretty darn cool.

The times I have spent with Mr. Chow he consistently tells me...Ohh. I'm very lucky. So very, very lucky. Lucky. Then after that he will say. I'm happy. Very happy. Soo very happy. Happy. Then he'll look at me, and ask...Are you happy?

He says this every time I see him.

It's funny, because his energy is so infectious, and he extends such light and laughter, that naturally I say...Yes. I'm very happy. How could I not be? He has enough happiness for the two of us!

He's a wealthy business man that beyond making money obviously finds joy in entertaining others, and connecting with people. He chooses to drive an old Volvo, while his wife drives a high-end European export. He adores his family, and loves children, and somehow balances many things, with zest and passion, while radiating a smile from ear to ear.

Whether in business, or out an about, touring Taiwan, consistently, he emanates a constant enthusiasm. At first, I didn't know how to take it. But, then I had to ask myself what's my resistance to it? Once I got my answer. It's been good times all the way. I'm really learning something here.

Simply put, it's a fun experience being in the presence of someone who finds pleasure and excitement from the simplest of things to the most grand.

Coolness.

Day Trip

You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been; a place that has to be believed to be seen.

~ U2

Two things. I'm a devil on wheels when haven't gotten enough sleep or enough to eat. You might as well call me Satan when this happens...hahahaha. Seriously.

Yesterday. I took a day trip to Alishan. One of the beautiful high mountain areas of Taiwan. As Mr. Chow says. If you haven't been to Alishan, you haven't been to Taiwan. So, I made sure I went and experienced. Beautiful. I love this island! Pictures will come later.

First we hung out in a quaint, little mountain town, and drank some of the locally grown organic tea from a local grower. I love the whole tea ceremony thing. I'd like to learn.

Then it was off to a coffee plantation. My second. We had to hike about an hour to get to it. With each step up the mountain, my blood sugar declined. I didn't eat breakfast, and the caffeine from the tea was wearing off. Not a good combo. However, once I made it up the summit, I felt good as I breathed in the clean mountain air. Took rest. Later though, my mood was souring. To make matters worse I kept judging myself. WTF's your problem? These were my words exactly. The hike back down didn't take as long. Afterward, we ventured to another area. Another hike.

It wasn't till we finally made our way to an awesome open air cafe, overlooking the deep Alishan valleys, near a lush tea plantation, that I had a proper meal. Finally the dark cloud lifted. Ahhh. This is all I needed. Ain't gonna do that again. Trekking up the mountains without proper food is craziness. How simple.

All in all, it was an awesome trip. So much to discover. I'm continually amazed and enchanted by this country.

Where There's Smoke

This discipline and rough treatment are a furnace to extract the silver from the dross. This testing purifies the gold by boiling he scum away.

~ Rumi

Where there's smoke. There's fire. Throw me in. I'm ready. Burn baby burn! As useless wants an desires burn into ash. I feel free. Freer than I thought possible. As the play, and the movement become all there is, an energy enters in, as everything I touch with my hands and see with my eyes makes no sense, compared the dance, as I beat my own drum.

I am burning. If anyone lacks tinder, let him set his rubbish ablaze with my fire.

~ Rumi

You are so

So that's what destiny is: simply the fulfillment of the potentialities of the energies in your own system.

~ Joseph Campbell

While in Taiwan, I've taught at four different places. And the first thing students say, consistently, when they see me is...

You're so young. You'll be teaching us?

Yeah. I make an awesome first impression. Hahaha. Anyway, I then say...

Well, I'm 32.

Not old by any means, but not too young. I suppose.

I mean. I don't really think I look all that young. However, most students take me for being anywhere from 20 to 23. Maybe it's because I don't wear any makeup on the job. Dunno. Hahaha. Little do they know I have the maturity of an 18-year-old. Hahaha. Just kidding. Well. No. I'm not.

Soon. We establish trust.

The group I have now were previous yoga light practitioners. A lovely bunch. However, they are feeling some of the physicals woes of an Ashtanga practice at the moment. Lots of soreness. Many have felt parts of their bodies, recently, that had previously laid dormant. One thing they do have is enthusiasm, and curiosity, along with a plethora of questions. Which makes them a delight to work with. Some, I do believe, are questioning why take on such a challenging practice, as their arms and hamstrings scream at them from the soreness. However, I do my best to explain that, in the beginning, there is a breaking down process, then a building up. And, naturally the longer one practices it continues in this cyclical fashion.

I feel a mutual respect has formed organically. Over and over, I've been impressed by what I've witnessed. Never would I have expected it to be this much fun, and challenging at the same time.

Can't think of anything else I'd rather be doing.

Emotions

More than those who hate you, more than all your enemies, an undisciplined mind does greater harm.

~ Buddha

Emotions. Energy in motion. Moving in. Moving out.

No matter what. Emotions come about. A trigger. To my surprise. Bouts of sadness entered in.

Someone I highly admire once told me...when we start shining the light, it exposes the dark areas that have been hiding. Guess that's the best way to describe some of what I'm feeling.

Instead of stuffing it down, and not feel. I choose to allow the sadness to come through, and pass, like a thief in the night.

Anyway.

Once again. It goes back to impermanence. Change. Changes everything. Life moves. Things shift. Like the eye of a hurricane. I will sit still and watch.

The clouds will part. The sun will shine. This I know. If anything at all.

Touch Your Heart

III. 25

Joining the intelligence of the heart with the overflowing of the mind brings knowledge of the subtle or causal, the hidden or unusual, and the physically and psychologically remote.

To attain realities out of its grasp, the mind must submerge itself in the intelligence of the heart. According to the Hindu tradition, the heart is where God dwells in human beings. And this aphorism signifies that a divine vision enlightens the mind.

As long as the ego is an obstacle in the personality, intellectual pride precludes the necessary abandonment. It is only in renouncing the qualities of the mind, however great they may be, that the intelligence of the heart may awaken. As Saint Exupry so justly says in The Little Prince: "You can only see with the heart."

~ Bernard Bouanchaud - The Essence of Yoga: Reflections of the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali






Taiwan. Touch your heart.

This is the tourism tag line for Formosa. Meaning, beautiful island. That is Taiwan.

My time here has gone by unbelievably fast. It's been incredible. The months have turned into weeks. Soon the weeks will turn into days.

The hospitality extended has been amazing. I feel blessed. I feel abundant with a vast amount of experience, giving space for new growth. The time has supported me in many ways. Hard to explain. Feels as if I've entered into something new. Expansive. Free.

NEVER would I have thought, I'd find a sense of comfort in uncertainty. I remember, not too long ago, this concept felt foreign. I didn't like it. I didn't understand. Now. I feel a deep sense of ease about it all. At least for today. Haha.

The part that feels incredible, is the feeling of realness. Whole and complete. Of honoring who I am. Of appreciating myself. Abandoning the judgment and self-criticism I used to hold. I can't say I'm cured. All I can say, moving forward, is when I come from a place of heart everything becomes more clear.

I've entered into a new realization of only taking on what is my stuff. This has been huge. I've had the tendency to take other people's stuff, absorbing their pain...even some drama. I pray, I will continue to have discernment, sensing what is mine, and what is not. There's no need to take on other people's junk. And, the good thing is, when doing so, I can be of better service to others. Amazing how that works.

A little over a year ago I got this inkling. This little itch inside my heart. Like a whisper. Telling me. Look here. Here. Inside the heart. Hahaha. I've had plenty of lessons on what happens when I decide not to. Boy. I've been through the school of hard knocks on numerous occasions. Good stuff, though. Wouldn't be at the point where I am now. I'm thankful.

For the first time, in a long time. As 2008 winds down. I feel a new beginning being born. Don't know what that means. Don't know what's in store. Don't care.

Give me freedom. Give me adventure. My heart and soul want to scream, as it soars into a realm of unlimited possibilities.

Whatever that is. Who has a clue?

That's what makes life so fucking incredible.

Wouldn't you say?

Pilates Ring

Nothing is exciting if you know what the outcome is going to be.

~ Joseph Campbell

So. I've made friends with the CEO of a yoga/fitness supply company. A man of undying energy and enthusiasm. He just about wears me out. But, it's all good. He's lots of fun.

He gave me a pilates ring. I've tried it out, and I'm hooked. Like a kid, it's my new toy, and I can't get enough of it.