How Did The Rose?

12.12.07

How Did The Rose?

How

did the rose

ever open its heart

and give to this world all of its beauty?

It felt the encouragement of light against its being,

otherwise we all remain too

frightened.


~Hafiz




This morning after practice I met a former yoga student of mine for coffee to catch up. After several questions I found myself saying I don't know quite a bit...and again, and again...I dunno...I dunno...I dunno...I dunno...I dunno...I dunno...Like a broken record.

After some refection I find myself feeling as if I don't even know who I am anymore. Every identification I have ever known has slipped through my fingers all in the past year. Who I felt I knew turned into something else...paths I thought I would go down twisted and turned. Nothing is solid...I'm not sure if or when I will feel my feet fully planted on the floor. I've lost things I felt were most dear to my heart...and it is so true...life is impermanent.

I feel as if I have no answers or the right questions to ask...

I don't know where I'm going...its all wiiiiiide open...this shit is scary.

I feel so much...sometimes I feel like I feel too much. Why am I so sensitive? Sometimes it sucks. But, this wall I've built up is crumbling down...No more control.

What does this mean? God only knows. I'm tired of trying to figure any of it out. Because I don't know a damn thing. Can you say clueless?

Am I ready? Ready to face the truth?

And...then I read this excerpt in the book I'm reading...

"Isn't it curious that the very source of our liberation is the very thing over which we are fighting?"

(Love Without End, by Glenda Green)

Ahhhhhh...yes...I can relate to this...

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