Stepping into the Void

29.7.09

"I don't want to live. I want to love first, and live incidentally."
(Zelda Fitzgerald)

Stepping into the void. Sounds like an awful thing, doesn't it? I mean, it isn't always a comforting place. However, I've learned voids can be places of freedom. Admitting that I don't know anything, and can't really claim to, opens many doors of experience. Leading with curiosity is always much more fun than being the expert.

Being an avid reader, the one thing I can say about simplifying my life that hasn't worked, is when it comes to books. I seem to acquire a stack of books wherever I go. I have my favorite genres, but also an insatiable appetite, and curiosity regarding many forms of thought, and experiences on life and love. I mean, what else is there? Lol.

Explains my tendency toward wanderlust. Traveling to far off places forces one to step into unknowing. A void of sorts. In the void, I discover something inside that I hadn't realized was there. Yes there might be a bit of fear present, but often when walking through it, divine shifts happen to get you by. And, what a thrill that is. We walk, things happen by inspired design, and all that needs to be done is to take that first uncertain step.

In the void things are created. Inspiration comes. Life begins. It's open. It's fair game. Anything is possible, and is. You can either choose to be scared by it, or embrace whatever comes with it. Really what have we got to loose? I mean really, when we start subtracting from our life, we finally get to the meat anyway. There's a world of gain in the void. It's PURE POTENTIAL.

Not knowing is a good thing. And as I type this, I can't believe I am. Several years ago I didn't even have a clue to this concept. When saying over and over and over again to someone..."that I didn't know, I don't know...I just don't KNOW!!!"

I was told calmly..."that's okay. That's actually a good thing."

I meekly replied..."it is?" I was dumbfounded.

The only thing you can learn about being in control is that you aren't. Another concept that has burned me on one too many of occasions. But, it's all good. I find relief in letting go, instead of hanging on to beliefs, concepts and labels. I know I must still harbor some, but the more I let go, I start to feel lighter, more in tune and self contained in a way that sustains from the inside out.

As I move forward, there will still be unknowns to contend with. Yes, there's a rough sketch for things to come that are in the works, which is beautiful and great, however the exciting part is also in the unfolding and emerging that I still haven't got a clue about, and that's nice.
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